Respond With Grace

It’s unusual for our driver not to pick up our calls. However, last night, after a dinner in Tao Yuan, Resorts World, he was unreachable. Edric and I must have phoned him 12 times. Desperate to contact him, we walked around each of the 7 parking floors, suspecting that he might have dozed off. After unsuccessful attempts at car-hunting, we returned to the mall. This must have been 45 minutes later.

Walking up and down and around the parking…

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Uncertain of what to do, we meandered around the shops for a bit, killing time in the hopes that our driver would at some point see our text messages or registered missed calls.

The next plan was to survey the parking building adjacent to the mall. Edric suggested that I find a coffee shop to sit comfortably in while he looked for our car. (I was in heels and my feet were beginning to throb.)

Thankfully, we ran into friends who offered to shuttle us all the way home if necessary. At least we had an option. Edric and I were seriously considering their offer when I made one last attempt to get in touch with our driver. Five rings and then he picked up! Wow, it felt like a miracle when he did!

“Ma’m, I am sorry I fell asleep,” He confessed with humility. I could tell he was embarrassed as he waited for instructions, probably expecting a scolding, too. I requested that he meet us right away at the mall’s entrance.

In a few minutes, he pulled up the car and we hopped in, relieved to be able to head home. While I appreciated our driver’s honest admittance about falling asleep, I knew he might receive a lecture from Edric for his inefficiency. But I praise God that Edric responded the opposite of what I expected.

I know Edric wasn’t happy that we had to wait when he already had a tiring day of meetings and two weeks of pre-Christmas season busyness. But he sought to understand our driver’s tiredness. After all, he chauffeured Edric everywhere and into the late evenings the days and nights prior. Instead of lashing out at him, Edric calmly asked, “What happened? interested to hear our driver’s side of the story. He also expressed concern about our driver’s well-being and added that it wasn’t like him to be unreliable.

Years ago Edric might have vocalized his disappointment in a harsher manner and I would have sat there embarrassed to be present during the conversation. But last night he provided me with a Christ-like example to emulate. I really appreciated this.

The bible says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, to “sanctify her,” “cleansing her by the washing of the word,” and “presenting her in all her glory without a spot or wrinkle, that she would be holy and blameless.”(‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭25-27‬ NASB) This sounds a lot like discipleship to me — a husband being charged with the responsibility of his wife’s spiritual well-being. A very effective way for Edric to do this is to model Christlikeness to me. His spiritual maturity encourages me to be spiritually mature, too.

Lately, I am ashamed to say that I have been snappy with the kids and Edric, and easily annoyed when inconvenienced. Edric’s understanding and kindness towards our driver blessed me with a model to follow — to respond with grace and quiet strength when circumstances are stressful and disappointing, and to speak with gentleness but honesty when correcting a person’s mistake.

Proverbs 16:32 is a great passage to meditate on when it comes to self-control: “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.”

6 thoughts on “Respond With Grace

  1. Wow, this is really nice. Instead of blowing up in anger, he calmed down and tried to understand the driver’s place. That’s not easy but we must really submit to the Spirit to be able to do this. I think that is what you call maturity in the Spirit. Thank you for sharing. (:

    1. Praise God for this wonderful message. Truly God is amazing . He answers our prayers in awesome ways.I am supposed to meet our helper tomorrow regarding an incident in our home that placed my trust in her, under suspicion. I confronted her with the issue last Saturday and told her we will talk on Monday. On Monday she texted me she was not reporting for work. On Tuesday she texted that she will not be reporting for work beginning today and that her husband would just talk to me later in the day. I prayed to God on how I will answer her. Primarily I felt very bad because she has been with us for a long time and we trusted her. I texted back that it should be the two of us who should talk, but her husband can come if he likes. Unfortunately I got stuck in the traffic and our meeting was postponed for tomorrow. I had been rehearsing in my mind what to tell her but after reading this article I now know. I’ll see her tomorrow and give her the chance to speak first by asking `what happened ” and to listen with my heart prayerfully that I may respond with grace to her explanation.

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