Don’t Stop Praying for Your Husband

Whenever Edric slumps into a disheartened state due to stress, work challenges, or emotional and spiritual struggles, there’s a correlation to my lack of praying for him. I suppose the tendency to get complacent with my prayer life, especially in regard to Edric’s well-being, is when circumstances are easy. In the past two months our relationship and family have been in a “good place” — lots of ministry activities and events, traveling, and the pregnancy. So I wasn’t as intentional as I usually am about praying specifically for Edric.

My prayer life was mediocre in the last two months of pregnancy because my routines were disrupted. The fatigue during my first trimester kept me from prioritizing morning exercising, which usually kickstarts my day and puts me on a schedule. I usually couple my runs with praying, but my OB encouraged me to avoid strenuous exercise like running 5K because of my age during this pregnancy and the sensitivities of the first trimester. This isn’t to excuse a habit that should’ve remained regardless of my morning workouts, but the truth is I didn’t spend the time praying through my lists like I should have.

After speaking at our church’s Sunday service this past weekend, Edric began to feel extraordinarily down, apart from being assailed from all directions due to fires he had to put out at the office and personal issues he was working through.

Since these episodes have been pretty infrequent, it was unusual to see him so drained and de-motivated, especially after preaching a wonderful message at church. Although Edric and I both recognized the pattern as a spiritual attack (he went from victory to vulnerability, and his mind was clouded with negative thoughts about himself), it was hard for him to snap out of it.

My heart ached for him. No matter what I said or how I affirmed him, he didn’t seem to be convinced. At a certain point he also felt like I wasn’t very helpful for asking questions and giving suggestions that made him feel worse. So God reminded me to pray instead, to pray more diligently, to fight this battle on my knees.

No matter how great a marriage is, or how distant we feel from the onslaught of the enemy, there’s always going to be a spiritual battle to fight.

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

(1 Peter‬ ‭5:8‬)

We can’t let our guards down. Unless we pray consistently for the Lord’s protection and enabling, we won’t survive or finish well. When it comes to our husbands, we are in the best position to minister to their need for protection and enabling by praying because we are well acquainted with their weaknesses and struggles. There is no other person who ought to be praying more for a husband than his wife.

Once I recognized what was really going on spiritually, I resolved to lift Edric’s burdens up to the Lord. That’s when the peace came. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬)

Recently, women from all backgrounds and all kinds of seasons in their marriages have been messaging me about their difficult predicaments, pertaining specifically to infidelity issues or communication breakdown in their relationship with their husbands. Certain situations are so complex that I feel overwhelmed as I think through what advice to give. But there is one thing I am confident in. God works through prayer. When we consistently come before the Lord, humbling ourselves to seek out His solutions instead of relying on our own power…when we have an attitude of surrender toward His will over our own…and when we let God be our problem-solver, the one to work His miracles in the hearts of our husbands…He will surely act. Our job is to wait patiently on Him and to keep trusting that His timing and His ways are good.

Today, Edric was a better version of himself.

God is speaking to His heart and breathing life back into him. Edric’s battles are far from over, but my comfort and hope is in the Lord. The best way for me to love Edric right now is to listen to him and to pray for His body, heart, and mind.

When I asked him how he was feeling when he got home from the office, he replied, “I am choosing to have the right attitude, and to apply my message from last Sunday by thinking about the needs of others before my own.” I know these resolutions came from the Lord, and it’s encouraging to know that I somehow played a part by praying for Edric.

How to pray for our husbands (7 Ps):

1. Purpose – Lord, help my husband to know you, to know that he is loved by you, and to make you known. …”But let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭9:24‬)

Help him to embrace your plan for his life, for his gifts and talents, and to understand that he is here on earth not for himself but to love, serve, obey, worship, and glorify you, and to encourage others to do the same, starting with his family.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians‬ ‭2:10‬)

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” (Deuteronomy‬ ‭6:5-7‬)

2. Perspective – Lord, please help my husband see problems from a spiritual perspective, with faith and trust in who you are, that you are sovereign and in control, and will work things out for his good and our family’s good as he honors you.

“for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” (Philippians‬ ‭2:13‬)

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans‬ ‭8:28‬)

Help him to see blessings from the vantage point of a steward who is accountable to you.

“The earth is the LORD’S, and all it contains, the world, and those who dwell in it.” (Psalms‬ ‭24:1‬)

3. Pursuits – May my husband use his time wisely, prioritizing what’s most important (how relationship with you, with me and the kids, followed by work/ministry, and others). Help him to avoid getting caught up in activities, habits, or ventures that aren’t aligned with your purposes.

“Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise.” (Ephesians‬ ‭5:15‬)

May he grow in wisdom, stature, favor with you and man. May he be intentional about growing spiritually and helping others to do the same.

“And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” (Luke‬ ‭2:52‬)

4. Principles – May my husband obey your Word and develop biblical convictions about:

– his role as a husband / father

– what he watches, listens to, and accesses online

– character and attitudes such as integrity, righteousness, and being Spirit-filled

– work and business ethics

– choosing friends

“I shall delight in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your word.” (Psalms‬ ‭119:16‬)

“Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You.” (Psalms‬ ‭119:11‬)

5. Protection – Please protect my husband from sicknesses and diseases, from the lies of the evil one, from evil people, sexual immorality and adultery, and from making unwise choices.

“My times are in Your hand; deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me.” (Psalms‬ ‭31:15‬)

“Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; Save me and I will be saved, For You are my praise.”

‭‭(Jeremiah‬ ‭17:14‬)

6. Provision – Please bless the work of his hands, and multiply his efforts as he provides for the family. Please allow him to experience the fruit of his labor, and please give him supernatural capacity and wisdom to do what you have called him to.

“Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.”

‭‭(Isaiah‬ ‭40:31‬)

7. Perseverance – Please help my husband’s heart to be whole-heartedly devoted to you all the days of his life. Please do not allow him to fall away from you or to lose heart in doing what pleases you. Please help him to finish well and finish strong, and hear you say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” (Galatians‬ ‭6:9‬)

““His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’”

‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭25:21‬)

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2Timothy‬ ‭4:7‬)

10 thoughts on “Don’t Stop Praying for Your Husband

  1. I am a man of a strong desire. I like to have intercourse everyday. When I try to start it with my wife, she refuses for weak reasons like saying she is tired or lazy or because she wants to delay it to next day. So I have intercourse with her only twice a week. I cannot be patient. So I have to masturbate by my hand fearing to fall into adultery. Although I know it is a sin, I masturbate about three times a week while my wife is beside me and she knows what I am doing. My wife cares a lot about beautifying herself and using perfumes, but she becomes annoyed if I ask her for sex. Am I sinful to masturbate by my hand? If yes, then does my wife share in this sin?.

    1. Talk to your wife heart to heart. I dont if this is possible since you are a guy but ay least give it a try. Your marriage is at stake here. I commend you for being strong against adultery. A lot of guys I know would cheat on their wives or gfs because they cant satisfy them sexually. Maybe you need to be more sweet or caring to your wife. Its hard to make love us girls are not in a mood. She’s probably tired from household chores (offer her some help) or stressed from work (give her neck massage). Or give her flowers on an ordinary day. Just help to get in the mood. Its just my belief, but i dont think masturbation is a sin. Adultery is a sin! I just think your guilty because you know your wife is there but you still have to do it to relieve yourself. Goodluck and I’ll pray for you man! I envy you coz you are still in a relationship, you can still do things to improve your marriage. Unlike me, my bf just left me for a week now. No calls or messages or anything. So do your best man. You are very lucky coz you still have chance to correct things. Improve the way you treat her and yourself too. Look dapper or do some push ups lol hehe God bless man and your fam! 🙂

      1. We both tackled this problem in a loving and frank manner and each of us understand the rights and duties we have. Only I was keen to satisfy my own desires, without caring about her right to pleasure, so she finds no JOY in it and it becomes a burden for her. Yes masturbation is sin, because of evidence in the holy Book. So to avoid it i’m now masturbated by my wife’s hand 😋, because it is permissible for me to enjoy her in anyway and I even ejaculate outside her vagina. You are right Yellowcab I now strive to create morr love and affection between me and wife and understand her feelings; and avoid forcing her or harm her. Much appreciated. 😜

  2. Hi Joy!

    Thank you so much for sharing this. You know I have to admit that my prayer life has been mediocre the past few months too and I can really relate to everything you said. It seems that God has just used you to bring His message to me. Praise God for He always makes a way. May The Lord God continue to use you mightily for His glory. God bless you and the whole family!

  3. Thank you for this, Ms. Joy! 🙂 I don’t have a husband yet, but I have the same “prayers” for my boyfriend (who I’m praying will be my future husband!)

    God bless you and your family! Continue to be a blessing to the world through your words on this blog 🙂

  4. Hi Joy?,Praise the Lord Jesus? I from Kenya and I knew you and your family through CITAM including your Dad and Mum. From then I have been reading your blog and I love it. I admire you very much and May God bless you for sharing your life with the world for the glory of God. Keep doing what you are doing,it is a blessing.

  5. Dear Joy,
    Thank you for this beautiful message.. I woke up at 3am today.. .. After praying for my husband, somehow your blog came to mind, here I am reading this beautiful, encouraging message and it helped me pray for my husband… He’s in a difficult situation and I think he feels lost…. Thank you for this message.

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