The Significance of Time (For Kids)

It’s amazing how a day spent with my girls, giving them my undivided attention and playing with them, can make such a big difference in their responsiveness to me. I am sure that the same applies to all other children who get quality and quantity time with their parents.

My daughters and I had a whole day’s shoot for Friso, a milk brand we are endorsers for, and the story boards revolved around bonding activities together. We did scrapbooking, food prepping, and dressing to frolic in the rain, and the girls thoroughly enjoyed themselves. It didn’t feel like work. More importantly, they felt like this was girls’ time. We engaged one another. I wasn’t distracted by my phone or other priorities. It was just the three of us having fun together since the boys were with their dad.

By the end of that long day, which I thought would have surely worn them out, the girls were still energized. They tailed me wherever I went. All they wanted to do was to be with me and hang out with me. I thought by then they would have had enough of me but the very opposite was true, especially for my older daughter, Tiana. She was like, “What are we going to do now, mom? Can we do more scrapbooking?”

The other sweet thing I noticed was how affectionate Tiana was that evening. (Catalina is naturally a hugger.) Tiana, however, tends to be more economized with her affections. Yet that night, she hugged and put her arms around me spontaneously, multiple times.

Although I have known the very obvious connection between time and influence for many years through experience and research (as many parents do), I too often ignore that time holds such power to unlock the hearts of our kids. I get busy, even as a homeschool mom who spends each day with her kids.

However, being around doesn’t count as much as being present in each moment with my kids. There is no substitute for it. Nourished and secure children have parents who are both physically and emotionally present.

When parents ask me, “What do I do about my child who isn’t listening? Or “How do I reach out to my son who doesn’t tell me what’s going on inside?” There are countless other questions similar in nature that basically speak of a parents’ desire to connect with their emotionally distant child. I can’t think of a better solution than to say…

Spend time with your child. Don’t have a secret agenda that makes your intentions for bonding with them suspect. Just enjoy their company and let them enjoy yours. Do this consistently over a period of time and a magical thing will happen. Your child will willingly give you his or her heart.

There Will Always Be Somebody Taller

When one of my sons heard a relative say, “You are so short!” he teared…not in front of her but in private. The comment picked at an insecurity that he had been struggling with for the past year. Compared to his older brother, who has gone through puberty, he is significantly shorter. He also has friends and cousins his age or younger who are taller than he is.

In September I finally took him to see a pediatric endocrinologist who was recommended by my pediatrician, Dr. Joy Ty-Sy, from Cardinal Santos. Her name

Is Dr. Siok Sua Cua, also from Cardinal Santos, and she had my son get an X-ray for his hand. She also measured his height and checked her charts. The most encouraging part was that she asked my son to list down ten things he believed he was good at. Together with him, she went over each of these items and discussed them, focusing on the many areas and talents he had to celebrate. This was her way of de-emphasizing the height concern.

The positive news is that he is still within the normal, acceptable range for his height. Edric does have short genes in his lineage so that may be a factor, but so far, there’s no major concern. Furthermore, Edric went through his growth spurt later on than his peers so he too was short at the same age.

I took my son to Dr. Siok Sua Cua for my own peace of mind, and for his sake, to allay his fears. Yet, even if she doesn’t think there’s anything to worry about at this point in time, and even if I try measures to prevent the possibility of height issues through diet, good sleep and exercise, my son may end up being, um, vertically-challenged. Deep inside, he has confronted this very probable reality, especially since people continue to make comments like, “I am much taller than you,” or “Why are you so small?”

Therefore, Edric and I have been processing this concern with him so that he can have the right perspective. In fact, all our kids have to embrace the proper outlook on themselves and the unchangeable aspects of who they are. We have to positively program their minds with thoughts like, Thank you Lord for who I am, even if I would like to change somethings about myself.

I don’t want to minimize the fact that my kids get verbally wounded. In fact, people often ask me if children who are homeschooled get exposed to “real” world experiences like bullying and learning to deal with difficult people. The answer is, “Yes! Of course!”

Bullies and insensitive people aren’t found in classrooms and schools only. They can be present in your own family, among relatives and friends, and even in places like Sunday School or random social settings.

So, yes, my kids definitely have to deal with self-worth issues and overcoming negative messages about themselves when these are pointed out by others. However, the good news is that we are here to help them see themselves and their worth in Christ through spiritual lenses. They can’t control what others will say, or avoid being compared to others, measured against “standards”, and pressured to conform and meet up to the expectations of people. However, they can control how they will respond. We can teach them to receive these hurtful statements with grace and faith. Grace that doesn’t retaliate with anger, and faith to believe that God has a plan for who they are and will use the hurt for their good.

(Please note, when the hurt is beyond verbal jabs and goes into the physical realm, well, that’s a different story. We need to teach them self-defense!)

Recently, over lunch, Edric also reminded all our kids that they are special. They don’t need to perform or do things to impress us or others, we love them no matter what. They are special because they are our children, and more importantly they were fearfully and wonderfully made by God.

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.” Psalms 139:14

“The fastest way to kill what is special,” Craig Groeschel explains, “is to compare.”

When we compare ourselves with others, contentment ends. He warns that “comparison either makes us feel superior or inferior and neither of these honors God.”

When we look at what we don’t have, we neglect the gifts that we do have. This lesson isn’t just for my kids but for me, too. I have insecurities I still battle with regularly. There are days when circumstances or people highlight how I fall short and fail to measure up to a standard of perfection or success that the world likes to elevate.

However, the focus ought to be on Christ, to run the race He called all of us to, not weighed down by a comparison mindset, the sin of discontentment and covetousness, as well as a-poor-me-mentality.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2

Edric and I need to tell our kids (and ourselves) that there will always be someone wealthier, taller, faster, better looking, more talented, and more popular than them (and us). It’s not in the chasing after these things that we will finish our race well, but in the faithfulness of our daily pursuit of God and our obedience to Him. Groeschel encourages, “Don’t seek to be important. Instead, be faithful. If you remain faithful, then what you are doing will become important and bring glory to God.”

In my son’s case, if you remain faithful to God, walking in daily obedience to Him, it won’t matter how tall or short you are. You will have His favor and His blessing. I love you, son!

Setting Yearly Goals for Our Children Part 1

With the New Year fast approaching, it’s time to think through setting yearly goals for our children. This post is divided into two parts to make it more “digestible.”

Our family likes to use the Luke 2:52 approach, which states how “Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, favor with God and favor with man.” In this passage, we see four areas to consider for our children. The first is the mind (wisdom), followed by the body (stature), then spirit (favor with God), and relationships (favor with man).


Edric has a spreadsheet for our kids that includes columns labeled with each of these areas. At the beginning of the year, he and I will discuss our goals for our children, and he will fill in the columns and target dates.

This may sound like a nerdy way to set goals for our children, however, it has helped us to be purposeful. Some families may not opt to set goals in this manner. They may want to use a simple list that covers the physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual development of their children.

Whichever method they implore, the key is to be purposeful. Successful companies have annual planning meetings to assess where their companies are at, project profits, and to determine direction. As parents, we ought to be as intentional and even more so about the way we raise our children.

Many giants of the faith were faithful followers of God who performed miracles, prophesied, and influenced cultures and nations. However, they neglected their first ministry – their families. Take for instance, Samuel, a judge and prophet who was personally called by God in his sleep to serve Him. It is said of Samuel that “the Lord was with him and let none of his words fail. All Israel from Dan even to Beersheba knew that Samuel was confirmed as a prophet of the Lord.” (1 Samuel 3:19-20)

He advised the first king of Israel, Saul, and anointed the great King David. Yet, we know from the Scriptures that Samuel’s sons were not godly men. “And it came about when Samuel was old that he appointed his sons judges over Israel…His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice.” (1 Samuel 8:1,3)

How is it that one of the most faithful messengers of God to His people failed in his fathering?

On the one hand, he had a bad example in Eli, who played the role of a pseudo dad as he mentored Samuel. Samuel lived with Eli when he was weaned from his mother, Hannah, who had dedicated him to the Lord. From a young age, Samuel’s ideas about fathering were modeled by Eli. Eli, while succeeding at raising Samuel, failed as a father to his own sons. His sons were described as “worthless men who did not know the Lord.” (1 Samuel 2:12) Their sin was very great because they “despised the offering of the Lord.” (1 Samuel 2:17) Though Eli tried to speak with them to correct their behavior, it was too little too late. His sons “did not listen, and the Lord intended to put them to death.” (1 Samuel 2:25)

There are other clues to Samuel’s father issues. In 1 Samuel 7, there is an insert about Samuel’s ministry, explaining that he “used to go annually on circuit to Bethel, Gilgal, and Mizpah, and he judged Israel in all these places. Then his return was to Ramah, for his house was there, and there he judged Israel, and he built there an altar to the Lord.” Traveling these distances every year naturally consumed much of his time, besides executing the duties of judge to the people. No doubt this took away opportunities to disciple his own kids.

Perhaps Samuel also had a tendency to look at appearances rather than the heart. We see this when he was tasked to go to the house of Jesse to look for a successor to King Saul. His instinct was to choose based on appearances and God specifically told him to look at the heart. It’s possible that as a parent, he didn’t do his due diligence in seeing the hearts of his sons. His focus may have been on the appearance of goodness in his children while failing to recognize unchecked character issues that blossomed into dishonesty, bribery, and perversion of justice.

It’s sobering for us to consider this reality as we raise up our own kids. If great men of God can fail at parenting, how much more susceptible are we to do the same! This is why we need to think through what our children will grow up to be like. A thriving ministry, as well as workplace and business success cannot compensate for lack of intentional discipleship in the home. We can’t assume that our faithful service to God will, by virtue of osmosis, be embraced by our children. Neither should we content ourselves with our kids finishing college and getting good jobs or starting up businesses. While these are important, the greater measures of success are whether they will turn out to be men and women of integrity who know how to serve others, stay faithful to a spouse, raise godly children, and make a positive difference for Christ in this world.

Therefore, let us not be shortsighted as we set our goals, assuming that our job is done when our kids complete their schooling years. Luke 2:52 is included as a description about Christ when he was at the age of twelve. After this time, he makes his appearance in public ministry at the age of thirty. Up until this point, he continued to grow in wisdom, stature, favor with God and favor with man. Similarly, every year, we ought to envision and plan for our children to do the same.

For those of us with older children, goal-setting may involve asking them what they are interested in and what they would like to accomplish in the year. Encouraging them to be involved in the planning also makes them more committed to achieving yearly goals.

We would like to share with you some of the ways our children are growing in wisdom, stature, favor with God and favor with man. Since these examples are personal, may God help you to think through what can apply to your own children and family context.

Growing in Wisdom

Wisdom is the ability of a person to apply knowledge and make right choices. Ultimately, we want our children to have godly wisdom. When they are out of our sights or when they eventually leave our home, will their decisions honor God and please Him?

Knowledge and wisdom have to go together. Solomon asked of God, “Give me now wisdom and knowledge, that I may go out and come in before this people, for who can rule this great people of Yours?” (2 Chronicles 1:10) He knew that knowledge in the sense of facts and information was not enough to make him a good leader. He needed the combination of wisdom and knowledge.

As our children acquire knowledge through the study of subject areas, we need to balance this out with an understanding of who God is and what His principles for living are. A brilliant mind that doesn’t fear God or have a conscience can be a dangerous weapon!

Take for instance, our son, Elijah, who has always been interested in and become very capable in the area of technology. At the age of twelve, he was tinkering with gadgets and figuring out how to jail-break old Ipads and phones. We allowed him do so and paid for online programs so that he could learn programing. A year later he was building apps and websites. At a certain point the idea of hacking interested him as well as the ability to circumvent restrictions so that he didn’t have to pay for apps or movies. We told him to stop doing this because it wasn’t legal. Thankfully, he is a young man who fears God so he exercised restraint and self-control!

He is learning to channel his knowledge to worthwhile pursuits. Very recently, he created a forum for homeschooler friends where they discuss math problems, science, and exchange ideas. It’s a much wiser application of the knowledge he has acquired! He isn’t aspiring to hack anymore. Whew.

Considering our child’s interest is also a good starting point for planning out goals because it’s an integrative approach to learning. For example, instead of our kids studying math or reading as separate subjects, why not give them opportunities to exercise the usefulness of both?

Last year, Titus wanted to start his own stock portfolio as an eight-year old. His older brothers had already done so when they each turned nine, but Titus expressed the desire to get involved in investing earlier to compete with Elijah and Edan. It was a great way for him to apply math, reading, research, and critical thinking skills. So Edric included this goal in our yearly plan for Titus. Before the end of 2016, Titus attended a three-hour seminar by COL Financial where he learned the basics of investing in stocks. Edric asked him to think through which companies he would like to invest in, and he got his portfolio up with stocks from Pure Gold, Ayala Corporation, Rockwell, and SMPH. He now knows how to go online to research and purchase stock options on his own, too.

Our second son, Edan hopes to travel the world someday and talk to people about Jesus, so he asked if he could do foreign language studies this year. At present, he uses apps and travel books to teach himself Spanish and Chinese. During the day when he wants to work on his language studies, we set aside time for him to do this as well. He’s still at the beginner levels but his motivation keeps him going. Lord willing, this desire to share the gospel around the world will be fulfilled in the future. 


Growing in wisdom may often supersede yearly subject area requirements. While it’s beneficial to cover minimum learning competencies as outlined by the Department of Education, these do not have to restrict us from identifying loftier goals for our children that take into account their gifts, interests, and dreams.

Stature

We want our kids to develop their physical abilities such as their artistry, musicality, and athleticism, and we want them to be healthy and fit. Since each of our kids is at different stages of ability and capacity, we have to be specific about what activities we expose them to.

This past year, one of our aims was to help our sons find sports they wanted to focus on. Elijah let us know that he was open to training on a swim team and continuing with tennis. Our four other kids are also doing tennis. Since paid classes are usually once a week and our boys need more physical activity, Edric revised the specifics of our yearly stature goal to include an exercise regimen for our sons. Edric also participates in this fitness program with them as a way of bonding with our boys. The girls, on the other hand, are pressing on with their ballet.

As for music and art, two of our kids play violin, and two others are doing piano. All of them are enrolled in a painting class. We also make time for art at home.  Since their preferences may change as they discover what they are really good at, we ask them at the beginning of each year if they are open to sticking to the same music and art classes or switching to something else.


Edan used to take violin but didn’t develop a love for it. We really hoped he would stick it out, imagining a future when our three boys would be “jamming” on their violins together. However, he emphatically told us he would like to take up piano instead. Allowing him to let go of violin to focus on piano was one of the best decisions we made. After one year of piano playing, Edan progressed quickly. From simple pieces, he tackled compositions like “Flight of the Bumblebee” by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. Since he was so excited to learn an instrument that he actually enjoyed, he pushed himself to practice and work hard.

To continue, read: Setting Yearly Goals for Our Children Part 2

 

Setting Yearly Goals for Our Children Part 2

This is the second part of Setting Yearly Goals for Your Children. Previously, we covered Growing in Wisdom and Stature. If you haven’t read about these yet, please start here: Setting Yearly Goals for Our Children Part 1

Favor with God

Favor with God means that our kids seek to know, love, serve, and obey God. In pursuit of this, we encourage our older children to finish reading their Bibles every year, or at least attempt to do so. Elijah is re-reading his Bible for the seventh time, while Edan is on his second round. Titus has yet to finish but he’s on his way. Tiana is starting to but she still needs a lot of help with big words. Catalina just began reading so she merely pretends to understand what’s going on when she’s holding a Bible. A few days ago, she mouthed out her own rendition of Genesis, combining some parts with the story of Solomon, making it completely inaccurate. She’ll get there eventually.

Another important goal is that our kids develop Christ-like character. Each year comes with it’s unique challenges. This past year, our kids had to grow in kindness towards one another. They tended to use harsh words when they were frustrated and didn’t like to share.

During our weekly Bible studies with our kids, Edric included lessons on how to relate to one another in more loving ways. They memorized Bible passages and shared how they could improve and what they could apply. For the older boys, Edric challenged them to take charge of a study once a month so they got to practice teaching their siblings. His secret agenda was to get them to think through what they needed to work on.

The other night, Titus’s verse was Hebrews 13:16. He asked us all to memorize the passage: “Don’t forget to do good and to share with others. These are the sacrifices that please God.”  Afterwards, we talked about how the passage applied to us. Each of our kids admitted that they can be better at treating one another kindly.

We also provide our children with opportunities to serve with us in ministry as much as possible. Since Edric plans out most of our speaking engagements, ministry trips, and activities at the beginning of each year, he can determine when our kids can participate as he plots out our schedule. Most of the talks will fall under the categories of marriage, parenting, or financial stewardship since Edric and I have a shared burden to minister to families. Therefore, we find ways to integrate our children into our seminars so they can experience being a blessing to and serving others.



During our trip to Singapore last August, where we were invited to facilitate a family retreat, we asked our boys to prepare testimonies that we could include in our talks. At the end of the family retreat, our kids also sang a hymn for the audience to close the retreat. Exposure to ministry at young ages allows them to see how they can serve God, too, even while they are young and make a difference for Him.

Recently, we also added sharing the gospel to thirty-three people from now till December as part of our goal for the year since our church challenged us to do so. Our kids got excited about the commitment and have been passing out gospel tracts whenever they can. We still have to practice one-on-one evangelism with them since passing out tracts doesn’t really count!

Favor with Man

Our children also need to grow in their relationships with others. Favor with man is the ability of a person to relate to and reach out to others, to be a positive influence. It’s more than socialization, which is how a child conforms to the social group he is in. Our children have to be trained to look out for the needs of others.

The family context often provides a great training ground to do this since it can be difficult to unconditionally love and forgive one another, as well as get along with siblings. However, relationships with other children outside of the home are also significant. These teach our kids how to accommodate people from different backgrounds and cultures, as well as how to communicate, understand, and influence. 

Early this school year, we realized that our sons were looking for more opportunities to interact with friends. It was especially important to our second son, Edan, who enjoys connecting with others. As a natural leader, he benefits from opportunities to exercise this gift. Of all the days in the week, his favorite ones are often the days when he gets to be with his friends. He directs their play, organizes activities, and comes up with fellowship ideas.

As for Elijah, who tends to be very content being alone and on a computer or with a book, we recognized that he had to look outward and invest in developing relationships with others. So we enrolled him in art class and an Algebra 2 tutorial class in order for him to interact more with other high schoolers.


Here are some other ways we get our kids to connect with other children: We created a culture in our couple’s bible study group that encourages kids to come with their parents. During the week, we set aside a day for them to be at the Homeschool Global office so they can hang out and play with their friends in between their art, music, and pe classes. Apart from this, we open up our home so friends can come over in the afternoons. Or, we schedule visits with their cousins and friends.

We used to think that our kids would do fine without too much social interaction apart from family, relatives and a few close friends. However, our perspective changed a year ago when our second son declared, “I’m a social person. I like being with friends.” In response to this, we’ve tried to be more creative about providing opportunities for our kids to spend time with other kids. Although they enjoy their relationships with one another and with us, they also benefit from being with friends of all ages.

The goal isn’t so that they will have many friends, but that they would learn how to reach out to and be a blessing to others, and to apply character traits and relational skills like deference, forgiveness, kindness, cooperation, etc.  

In summary, the Luke 2:52 framework of wisdom, stature, favor with God, and men is one way to accomplish yearly homeschooling goals. It’s certainly not the only way since all families are unique. The point is to have a plan and to follow through with it. There may be revisions as the year progress, too, which is perfectly fine. We need to flex according to the needs of our children as they grow, develop, and encounter challenges. May God give us all the insight to craft our yearly goals and align them with his purposes for our kids. And may He supply us with the ability to commit to these! In the meantime, let us “Commit our ways to the Lord, and trust also in Him…” (Psalm 37:5)


 

 

Anya Resort

We spent the last two days at Anya Resort in Tagaytay. It was our first time to visit this place as a family thanks to our friends, Lou and Thea, whose wedding Edric had the privilege of officiating. They got us two Veranda Villa Suites to accommodate our family. (Thanks guys!)

What a beautiful resort! I just had to post photos and do this review because the kids thoroughly enjoyed our stay, and Edric and I were pleasantly surprised by our experience. 

Suites were very spacious with extraordinarily large bathrooms. I love big bathrooms! 

They also had a kitchenette area (but no stove). A generously sized living room area gives kids ample space to romp around.

The kids hung out in the living room before their swim…

There were nice decorative touches in the bedrooms. Edric noticed details like the Bticino switches, Samsung flat screen tvs, Koehler and Grohe bathroom fixtures, and Mitsubishi ACs. His comment, “Wow, they didn’t scrimp.” 


Each Viranda Village Suite has a balcony area as well. Although this place doesn’t have a view of the Taal Lake, it is a cozy and classy oasis of a resort, and it’s great for families. 

Service was quick, and staff were very attentive as well. They proactively asked if we were comfortable and needed anything. Upon arrival, a security guard greeted us with a big smile and said, “Welcome Home!”
The personalized touch is one of the reasons why I often prefer the smaller resorts to big hotel chains. They make you special and prioritized. Plus there’s the element of privacy which Edric and I appreciate. 


There were several areas to eat meals, but I didn’t get the chance to photograph these. The only meal we ate was the breakfast buffet. Yummy! 

Of course, Edric and I found time to check out their gym. It’s not a big gym, but it’s got a great selection of key equipment, like the kinesis one that Edric is using, which uses resistance cables that you can adjust to do a total workout. I used the weights and mat for floor exercises. 


One of my favorite places (as well as the kids’) was the library. Floor to ceiling shelves were lined with curated books arranged by color… always a good idea. We enjoyed lounging around. The kids checked out the books, played chess, colored, drew, and Edric busied himself with homework for his education course. 


Tastefully lit up at night…

We were sad to say goodbye but we hope to be back! 

Here’s my rating for the different aspects that matter to our family. I am going to start doing this since we do a fair amount of traveling:

Amenities (Considers kids’ interests and safety, well-maintained, encourages family time, has a nice pool, gym) – 4/5

Food (taste, priced well for families) – 4.5/5

Service (attentiveness and responsiveness) – 5/5

Accommodations (comfort, cleanliness, spaciousness, privacy, tastefully decorated) – 4.5/5

Price (family-friendly) – 4.5/5

Overall feel (I can’t explain this. It’s just that something special that makes you like a place) – 5/5

For more details, check out their site, Anya Resort

First, Middle, or Last Child…Everyone Is Special

Titus, my third son, said to me the other day, “I don’t like being in the middle.” 


I was caught off guard at first, because it seemed so uncharacteristic of him to express concern over his birth order. As I probed further I discovered that his statement was motivated by feeling left out somehow, sandwiched between two boys and two girls who had each other to play with. 

My heart went out to him. I never knew that he felt out of place, and I did my best to reassure him that he was in the middle because God elected for him to be third out of five. He was special, a bridge between the older kids and the younger ones. Furthermore, I added that his Angkong (my dad) and his Uncle Paul (my brother) were both middle children and they were great leaders. He managed a smile and seemed comforted. 

However, Edric and I had to do more to demonstrate just how special he was. So we convened about Titus to strategize what to do. I also talked to Elijah and Edan to remind them to include Titus, and to be encouraging towards him. They were eager to be on-board about this. (In fact, Elijah has been hugging Titus a lot which Titus appreciates as an affectionate person. He tells him, “You are my buddy!”)


As often as possible, I take note of what Titus accomplishes to affirm him as well. I also remind him that he has God-given abilities and personality traits that set him apart. 

Titus is thoughtful and caring. He serves others and appreciates people very easily. He shares and considers the needs of others. In the area of music, he has an amazing ear to hear harmony and correct pitch. When it comes to mathematics and mechanical ability, he excels. Furthermore, he likes to hug everyone, even people he doesn’t know very well, since that’s his language of love. He is smiley and friendly. 


Being a middle child doesn’t mean he is less than his siblings in anyway. He is just as unique and gifted. And having to adjust to older boys and younger girls makes him very flexible, patient, non-judgmental, and accommodating of personalities and gender differences.

I tell Titus all about these gifts God has bestowed upon him but it is Edric’s input and involvement in Titus’ life that probably counts the most. During our Singapore trip, when Titus wanted to go to the walkway at the Gardens of the Bay that joined the “trees,” Edric obliged him even if he was tired and preferred to go back to the place we were staying. In fact, Edric eagerly took Titus, along with Tiana and Catalina who also asked to go. He wanted Titus to know that he would go out of his way to accommodate him because he was important. 

I think the smile on his face in this photo says it all…


So far, our collaborative effort to make Titus feel loved and special seem to be working. He is chattier and more confident. When I asked him how he was feeling about being in the middle, he replied, “I am better. I know I am loved.” 

Whew. 

Every child is different and needs us to notice them. It doesn’t really matter whether he or she is first, second, third, oldest, youngest, or in the middle. While birth order may be a factor in the way a child develops a sense of self, we, as parents can let each of our kids know they are significant, special, valued and cherished so they don’t grow up to be insecure or wanting for attention and affection. We can also remind our kids to be thankful for the unchangeable aspects of their lives, birth order being one of them. God doesn’t make mistakes. 

Finally, even if children’s personalities may be shaped by the dynamic within a family and the way they relate to older and younger siblings, each child can be taught God-confidence, how to rely on the Lord for enabling and capacity. I also think we need to tell our kids that they are leaders and examples to those around them, regardless of their position in the family. They can all role model Christ-like love and character. They can all exercise wisdom in their decisions. They can all make a positive impact on this world. Birth order doesn’t determine future success. It is obedience to God that results in blessing…

“Study this Book of Instruction (God’s Word) continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua‬ ‭1:8-9‬ ‭

Celebrate VS. Compare 

I was in the bathroom when Tiana rushed in excitedly, looking for a bandaid for her brother, Titus. She seemed anxious when I asked her why she needed it. “He has a wound on his toe. It’s bleeding!”

She voluntarily came to his aid and located the antibacterial cream that was in my closet, too. I watched her with pride as I thought of how sweet she was to help her older brother. It’s not uncommon for her to come to the rescue of siblings who aren’t well or who have injured themselves. Instinctively, she reacts with genuine concern.

Two days ago, Catalina battled a fever. Tiana was the first to recognize that she wasn’t feeling well, and suggested that Catalina rest in the guest room, which she transformed into a “hospital room.” When I went in to check on Catalina, Tiana had spread a blanket on her, turned on the AC, and put snacks and water on the bedside table. She hovered over Catalina mindfully and sang her a short lullaby. When Catalina decided to watch tv for a little bit, she walked her over to the family room where Catalina fell asleep. Tiana struggled to pick her up (she’s three fourths Tiana’s size!) Then she carried her to the bed to make sure she was comfortable.

In the afternoon, Tiana also wrote a note for Catalina and handed it to her. It read, “I love u, Cat.”


Catalina brought it everywhere she went. In the evening, I found it on her bed beside her. I asked Catalina why she kept it with her, she said, “Because Tiana gave it to me.”


I got teary-eyed as she gripped the letter in her hand while fighting her fever.

Edric and I affirmed Tiana for her servant-heart and love for Catalina. We praised her for being so sweet and compassionate.

Observing the way Tiana cared for Catalina gave me a renewed appreciation of her personality and strengths. She is an empathizer. Maybe someday she might go into social work or become a doctor (if that’s what God has in store for her.) Whatever it is, I am pretty sure it will have something to do with rescuing others and serving them.

In the past three years I’ve gotten stressed by Tiana’s ability to cope with academic subjects such as math and language arts. It’s taken her a while to develop numeracy and reading skills. At the age of seven she struggles with abstract reasoning and spelling. Yet she is a tender-hearted, kind, and thoughtful child who is emotionally mature and full of joy! In light of eternity, I do believe these are the faculties of a person that ought to bear greater weight. I am so proud of her!

Her academics will follow. I don’t doubt it, and I must remember to be patient and positive when learning goals aren’t achieved. In the meantime, I am affirming her in the areas where she excels.

In today’s world there is often an overemphasis on academic performance. Even homeschoolers can get suckered into this mindset — where we want our kids to be high achievers and better than everyone else. However, this pressure leads to performance-based learning and living, where a child’s self worth is based on how they fair academically. Of course, this also causes us to be stressed out and impatient when our kids don’t meet our expectations.

Instead, we ought to celebrate whom God made our kids to be, liberating them to “run their race” in life without comparing themselves to others or feeling like they fall short of our expectations. After all, God gives accordingly not sparingly. He isn’t stingy with the gifts he bestows upon our children. He is purposeful! Whatever abilities or inabilities they have are not hindrances to His power to accomplish His plan for their lives. Let’s not be a hindrance by forcing them to be what they aren’t meant to be. Let’s remind them to be thankful for their limitations, their uniqueness, and to do all things for His glory!


“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalms‬ ‭139:13-14‬ ‭

Walk in Love

 Titus, my third son has been wearing expanders for his upper and lower teeth for a good part of the year. He has large front teeth and his jaw is narrow, so his dentist, Dr. Marla Valenzuela, suggested that he get expanders to enlarge his jaw. These expanders are not cheap. They have also seen many adventures as Titus has, on different occasions, left them in places where he shouldn’t have, broken parts of them accidentally, and gotten them dirtied. During our recent trip to Singapore these expanders ended up in the trashcan of a Chinese restaurant, but I will get to that in a moment.

My husband, Edric, spoke on a series of topics during a retreat while we were in Malaysia on the theme “Radical Love Begins at Home.” 


His culminating message was preached at CCF Worship Service in Singapore with the challenge to “Love More.” Our kids spoke with us during different messages of the retreat and the day that Edric spoke at church, we spent time with the leadership team over lunch at a Chinese restaurant.

Titus, along with my four other kids, occupied tables with children of the leaders’ where they merrily engaged one another and played games. As for Edric and myself, we were caught up in conversation with the rest of the adults, exchanging stories about our faith journeys, marriage, parenting, and ministry. Since Titus forgot his expander’s case, something I’ve repeatedly reminded him not to do, he placed his expanders on a wad of tissue next to his plate before eating his lunch.

Caught up in his interactions with new friends, he didn’t notice that the waitress innocently swept his expanders (and the wad of tissue in rested in) off the table onto a tray that was cleared into a trash bin. Edric and I had no idea either as we were seated separately from him during the meal. As the lunch came to a close for us we excused ourselves from the gathering to rush off to a bookstore before our flight home to Manila. We had promised Edan a trip to Kinukoniya, his favorite bookstore, to buy a science book. Intending to keep our commitment to him before leaving for the airport, we collected our children and bid farewell to everyone.

It was at this time that Titus whispered to me that his expanders had vanished.

“What happened?!” I asked, dumbfounded, that he didn’t realize this earlier.

“I left them on a tissue, on the table, and then now they are gone…maybe they were thrown away by the waitress.”

I glared at him for a moment, unimpressed by his simplistic deduction of the situation.

“Hon, this is serious. How could you have lost your expanders?”

Titus, looking clueless and helpless at this point, made it difficult for me to be upset. He obviously needed a solution, not a lecture. Yet, I feared that Edric would react in an irate way when I passed the problem on to him. After all, we were in a rush and tight schedule before our flight home. I was going to propose that we leave the expanders buried wherever they were. I wasn’t about to go digging through the trash with my bare hands to sift through all the used tissue, dirty food, and mysteriously sticky goo! Most certainly Edric wasn’t going to do it either, not dressed in his Sunday shirt, and especially because he gets more disgusted by icky things than I do (or so I thought).

Amazingly, Edric level-headedly assessed the situation, spoke to the waitress and asked to be directed to the trash. Without hesitating, he dug his hand into it and felt for the retainers, pulling napkins and objects out of the trash to examine them one by one.

Was this my husband who was bent over the trashcan, sorting through the waste without making a single comment about how inconvenienced he was?!

It most certainly was! What a dad!

I suppose he saw what was really going on. This was a divinely appointed moment to apply four straight days of speaking about Christ-like love, and how it ought to impact our relationship with the family first. This was love in action.

After five minutes of consistent digging, he got one expander, then the other, as our friends looked on and cheered. Titus smiled in relief, almost too happy to realize that he shouldn’t put his expanders back on right away before disinfecting them!

I’m sure the experience profoundly affected Titus. Over the years he has gotten himself into a number of predicaments that required our intervention and problem-solving. Sometimes these occasions have been deeply aggravating because of how ridiculous they are. From getting his head stuck between rails so that we needed to carry his body and push it through in order to free him, to snipping his hair off so that his forehead was grossly exposed and exaggerated, to destroyed different electronic equipment in the home because he wanted to examine what was inside of them, to locking himself in a storage room so that the door had to be broken down, to swallowing a marble so that his intestinal area had to be x-rayed and I was told to examine his poop everyday with a stick to anticipate the exit of the marble, well, let’s just say that God has used him to teach Edric and I patience and grace. 


We do love him immensely and nothing will ever change that (something we’ve repeatedly told him), but these occasions do tempt us to react with irritation.

He knew that losing his expanders was a big deal. However, Edric’s gracious gesture quelled whatever stress he might have been feeling. (It certainly alleviated my anxiety, too! I didn’t want to have to pay for new ones!)

As we walked to the train station, Edric put his arm around Titus to let him know that everything was okay. He was forgiven.

If we want our children to be loving, they have to know what love is, to experience being loved, especially when they make mistakes. When the temptation to get annoyed, to be reactive, to lash out, to inflict pain with our words is strongest because we are disappointed, frustrated or angry, then we must tell ourselves, “This is the best time to demonstrate to my child what love really is.” 

I’m not saying that we should ignore our responsibility to discipline them. But there will be times when instead of a lecture, they may need us to listen. Instead of making them feel guilty, we can remind them that God gives grace. Instead of harboring hurt or bitterness against them, we ought to unconditionally forgive them and hug them. And rather than acting selfishly, we can imitate our Savior as Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us, “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.”
 

I Have a Son Who Is Bigger Than Me 

It’s official. Elijah is nearly two inches taller than I am. I don’t know when it happened but he’s been shooting up since February of this year, the month he turned fourteen. He’s still looking like Gumby with his lanky arms and legs, and twelve pounds lighter than my weight. However, I strain my arms trying to cut his hair now since I hold the clippers up to his head. I think he’s growing an inch every month?! 

Does it make me feel old to have a young adult in my home? I don’t know. Sometimes, maybe. But then I have a four year old running all over the place, too, who convinces me that I can’t be that old because I need to keep up with her. 

A part of me thought that this transition into a different stage of motherhood was going to be more emotional for me. However, Elijah’s handled his physical and emotional changes pretty well. When I asked him how he processed his entrance into young adulthood, he replied, “Well I have you and dad and I am around adults so I see how they behave, which gives me a reference.” 

He also added that we equipped him to anticipate the changes by having many dialogues with him about what it means to be a young man. “There’s no such thing as the teenage years”, we would tell him. (The word “teenager” was a term coined by the Reader’s Digest, Life Magazine and Popular Mechanics post Depression-era, during the 1940s.)
“When you turn 13 you are officially a young man.” 

Edric also took him on a rite of passage and initiated a gathering with godly men in his life who offered their sound advice on what it means to be a man. 

Now I look at Elijah and feel a deep joy knowing that he is navigating these supposedly turbulent years with the grace I prayed he would have. Here are some of the things I appreciate about the age he is at:

1. He sets a wonderful example for his siblings when it comes to being disciplined with his quiet time with the Lord, responsibilities, and work. 

2. He is my in-house tech support. He understands computers like I never will. Whenever there is a tech issue in the home, Elijah can usually fix it. 

3. He keeps me accountable, in a polite way. Whether it is watching what I eat, like avoiding sweets, or minding my spending, he reminds me to be wise. 

4. He is still open with me and shares his concerns, feelings, and joys with me. I still get to peek into his heart.

5. He assists me with the younger girls and even his brothers. When I need a babysitter, he ably and patiently watches and attends to his sisters. He also keeps everyone in line when I am not around. 


6. He still gives me hugs and welcomes hugs from me. He isn’t embarrassed to be affectionate towards me, even in public. 

7. He’s my bodyguard and my young gentleman. When I need someone to be with me to complete my list at the grocery, carry my bags when they are too heavy, or keep me company at the hardware store, he gladly agrees to come along and help me out. 

Elijah has his moments when he gets agitated, loud, and emotional about blocked goals and failure. Yet, for the most part, he’s turning out to be a wise young man who loves the Lord, as well as his family and friends. He also seeks to make choices that honor God and his parents. 

I am sure every year will have its unique challenges for our kids and our parenting, but my encouragement is that God’s principles for raising children are sound and effective. His Word is dependable. When He declares, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6),” it is both a charge and a promise. 

If we do our part as parents, modeling the right values and character traits we want our children to espouse, and discipling them to become men and women who love God with all that they are, I know that we can bank on the Lord’s promise. He will produce the fruit we long to see in the lives of our kids. Our efforts will not be in vain, not because we are doing such a fantastic job as parents, but because the Lord is FAITHFUL. Although I cannot see the future or anticipate all the trying life situations my kids will go through, my fears are overridden by the hope I have in God’s faithfulness. 

1 Thessalonians 5:24 says, “Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.” In the preceding verses Paul tells God’s people to examine everything carefully, to avoid evil, to cling to what is good, and the God of peace will sanctify us and preserve us till the end.  

As we invest in the lives of our children, teaching them to be discerning, to run away from sin, and to hold on to what is good, may God sanctify and preserve them! Let’s claim this by faith! 

“Hon, You Have to Be a Better Homemaker”

When my husband, Edric, told me I had to be more involved in the home as a “homemaker,” meaning, “to put my whole heart into it,” I felt offended. He didn’t intend to put me down, but I reacted to his correction, primarily due to pride.

By my estimation, I was doing a decent job. Although I wasn’t a Martha Stewart or the kind of wife that put a whole lot of effort into making her home look Pinterest-worthy, our home was clean and our household help had a schedule that they followed, I had a meal plan, the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator were stocked with food, and there was a system in place for the day to day affairs. Plus, much of my personal time was consumed by home schooling, child-rearing, ministry, my writing, and projects/work commitments, so it wasn’t like I was lazing about as a woman.

However, Edric’s expectation for my homemaking went beyond the practical management. He hoped that I would put effort into beautifying our walls, making it feel “homey” by giving it a more lived-in look and adding personal touches, plants, paying more attention to details and upkeep issues, and finishing projects like my paintings and woodworking with the kids.

Although I didn’t agree with his perspective when he first made the comment, God convicted me that there was A LOT of room for improvement in this area of my life.

Edric is my leader. If he sees an area that I ought to better myself in then why not gladly receive it? I lose nothing by responding positively to what he asks me to do, especially since becoming a good homemaker is a means for me to be a greater blessing to him and my kids, as well as people who enter our home. I remember an insight I got from my very wise mother, “God uses our husbands to mold our character and prepare us for heaven.” Her spiritual perspective often ministers to me.

Edric and my dad are similar in the sense that they are teachers and like to help people be their best by pointing out areas they can improve in. Well, when I react to Edric’s teaching personality it’s usually because I’m proud and don’t like him telling me how I should change. However, he is almost always right. The issue is, when it comes to his correction (and only his for some reason), I get defensive. Yet, if God is using him to prepare me for heaven, then hallelujah, I should listen! After all, Proverbs 26:12 warns, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”

Furthermore, mediocrity isn’t becoming of a follower of Christ. I should be faithful at everything I do, everything that falls under my scope of responsibilities, which includes home-managing and home-making. Not every wife has the opportunity to stay at home so I understand that some of us have time constraints. Yet in my case, there really is no excuse. God has gifted Edric and me with a wonderful home to steward. How can I expect the Lord to entrust me with more important responsibilities if I’m not being faithful with what he has laid in front of me?

Truthfully, my home can use some attention, MY attention. (It’s different when a wife and mom personally sees to the details of her home rather than delegating these to household help.)

I can start by taking care of the small issues that I’ve been ignoring…left-over construction materials hidden in the backyard…a disorganized storage room…a broken kitchen clock (just fixed this)…lightbulbs that need replacing…family photos that need to be hung (did this yesterday! Woohoo!)… (As I make this list, I’m realizing how pathetic it is that I’m not attending to these things!)

Lastly and most importantly, I’m supposed to be my husband’s strong supporter, his Ezer Kenegdo, his “helper” as Genesis 2:18 puts it. By not embracing what he is asking me to do as a homemaker wholeheartedly, I’m not fulfilling my role as God has called me to.

Three months ago I borrowed a book from my mom, Becoming, which had an amazing chapter in it about a woman’s role written by Chrystie Cole, titled We Are Ezer. The word, Ezer, as found in the Genesis text was used a descriptor for Eve and Chrystie Cole explains that it meant "ally, aid, someone who brings support and relief" (the same word used to describe the Lord twenty-one times in the Old Testament).

It is adjoined to the word, Kenegdo, which means "corresponding to or suitable to." The two words together reveal that women are supposed to be the essential counterpart, indispensable companion, or corresponding strength to the people in our lives. Whether single or married, this is a God-given identity to us as women, fully realized in the context of our relationships with others. We were designed to strengthen and support the people in our lives with our talents, gifts, abilities, and encouragement. Since I am a wife and a mom, I am to be an Ezer to Edric and my kids.

According to Chrystie Cole, “A good illustration of this strength can be drawn from a 12th-century architectural innovation known as the flying buttress. Commonly used in Gothic architecture, a flying buttress provides essential support hat preserves the architectural soundness and integrity of a building. These buttresses bear weight and relieve pressure from the walls, allowing for higher ceilings, ornate latticing, and extra windows. Like these powerful structures, a woman provides an undergirding strength within the context of relationship that empowers others to become and achieve things that might have otherwise been impossible. She is an essential counterpart providing necessary, load-bearing support.”

Is that a beautiful example or what?! I nearly teared when I first read this! Thank you Chrystie Cole!

When I asked my husband earlier this year, “How can I support you as a wife?” (Be warned…this is a dangerous question to ask your husband if you aren’t ready and willing to humbly receive the answer!) His response was, “Take care of the home and do the things I ask you to.”

Even back then I knew that he wanted me to delight in being at home and managing our home wholeheartedly, but I would get distracted and fill up my calendar with other things to do, and simply delegate the homemaking to my household help. Now I better understand that he notices the difference between my full engagement and presence as a homemanager, and my convenient detachment from it.

I started this article a few days ago, but yesterday, when Edric came home, he found me using a power tool (oh yeah), a drill, to make holes in our wall to hang our family photos in the hallway upstairs. I also hung up one of my paintings, which had been stored in the linen closet for over a year. Elijah ably assisted me with the drill, too.

Together with the kids, I started a garden project in the yard, which is something Edric wanted me to be on top of. The kids and I also kickstarted their story-book writing for the seven character books that Edric’s been asking us to do for the last two years, Plus, I spent about an hour trimming all the bamboo that was overgrown and looking hideously neglected instead of waiting on Edric to do the gardening. During my mad-bamboo-cutting-spree, I got bitten at least twenty times by red ants. Yet after a day of wholehearted homemaking, I felt very fulfilled! The kids enjoyed helping me as well, which was a wonderful bonus, since it got them outdoors and encouraged them to be productive and learn new skills.

I didn’t mean to brag in the last part by talking about everything I did yesterday, but I didn’t want to end this article by “preaching” about things that I need to apply myself. So I got crackin’ on my home-making!

There remains a list of things to do that will probably never end, and I’m still not a Martha Stewart by any measure, but I’m thankful that God is using my teacher-husband to refine me in the very best way. Without his corrections and suggestions about how to be better I would stagnate as a person and never achieve my fullest potential as an Ezer to him, my kids, and to others.

If you have a husband like me or persons in your life who challenge you to grow and improve, let’s praise the Lord together! This is going to be good for us! We need this!

 

 

 

 

 

Grade 9 Materials

My balikbayan box finally arrived and it was like Christmas in July for our homeschooling! There were specific materials that I couldn't get locally so I sourced them from the U.S. for my kids. Plus, they are so often my guinea pigs for experimental material so that I can also give recommendations to others.

Here's what Elijah's 9th grade homeschool year is going to look like:

Bible: Continue daily bible reading. Use I Don't Have Faith to Be an Atheist Curriculum three times a week.

Language Arts: Fundamentals of Literature by Bob Jones University Press for reading three times a week, and Student Writing Intensive Continuation Course Level C by Institute for Excellence in Writing for writing and grammar twice a week.

Math: Algebra 2 with Khan Academy four times a week.

Science: Exploring Creation with Chemistry by Apologia three times a week.

History/Geography: World History Observations and Assessments from Creation to Today by Master Books four times a week.

Electives:

Computer Technology Node.Js by Udemy for building servers and AI Deep Learning by Udemy for creating artificial intelligence and exploring its applications. We got these courses for just 10 USD each! They were majorly discounted.

Sports – Swimming and Tennis

Art – Painting with Teacher Camille Ver through Learning Plus

Music – Violin classes through Learning Plus

Others: Local social studies using books I sourced on my own and Filipino using Rosetta Stone.

Books to read: Fantasy novels with Christian themes for Elijah's leisure reading time. He really enjoys this genre.




It's going to be a full year! I will post about my other kids' materials soon!

God-Confidence in Kids

I am not an advocate of getting kids into modeling at a young age because it can make them focused on their external appearance as well as derive their sense of identity and worth from the way they look and how others perceive them.  However, I also believe that carefully chosen modeling or acting opportunities can be beneficial for kids, to break them out of their shells so they can shine for the Lord. 

From time to time our family gets offered endorsement opportunities and I praise God that these normally involve all of our kids and Edric and me, or some of our kids and Edric or me. In other words, it’s usually a family endorsement and more importantly, a product or service that is aligned with our values and principles. 

The milk brand, Friso Four, which is for kids above the age of three years old (past the breastfeeding age) is one such product. Their cows are hormone and antibiotic free, and they are cared for by farmers who are personally invested in their farms. Farmers basically own Friesland Campina, the mother company behind Friso. So they love their cows! 

Our family’s contract with Friso involved our daughters and me engaging one another through outdoor activities and play, and promoting the importance of nature in the lives of our kids — eating healthy, good sunlight, exercise, and exploration. 

For the shoot today, Tiana was tasked to memorize many lines. When she first saw the script she felt nervous and concerned about her ability to memorize and execute what was required of her. However, we prayed together and dedicated the shoot to the Lord, and her courage increased. She got through each part so well, and without compromising her personality as a sweet and demure girl. 

I was so proud of her! As a younger girl, Tiana struggled with self-consciousness and she worried about what people’s opinion of her. Sometimes she still does. However through the years I have encouraged her to consider the needs of others and bravely attempt to make friends and reach out to people instead of focusing on herself. It’s taken some time but in the last few months, I have seen her grow and mature in this area. She is friendlier towards kids, like her ballet classmates and art class friends, and she has a better understanding of God-confidence. 

God-confidence, as opposed to self-confidence or self-esteem, is knowing that God is the one who gives us the ability and capacity to do things that are difficult or out of our comfort zones. Self-confidence or self-esteem is believing in one’s strengths and who they are to accomplish what they want and need to. A God-confident person relies on Him to meet the challenges He calls him or her to. 

For example, I don’t like speaking in public. It’s still stressful for me to prepare a talk and muster up the courage to stand before an audience even if I have been involved in public speaking for years. Yet this is something I do as unto to the Lord, giving seminars and talks alongside my husband on relationships, marriage, parenting, and homeschooling. I have to remember that it’s not about me, it’s about being a blessing to others, a vessel to communicate God’s principles on these topics in order to help people. But I have to depend on the Lord and not myself if I am to be effective. 

Therefore, I am also teaching Tiana how to exhibit God-confidence when she is asked to do something that is beyond what’s comfortable for her. There were several instances when she teared today, primarily because she didn’t like it when she couldn’t do an excellent job with her lines or with the acting. Catalina assisted by wiping her forehead and handing her tissues when she would tear. The crew and I assured her that she was doing a wonderful job and that it was okay to fail. That’s what retakes were for. Plus, I told her I loved her no matter what and I was there for her. We prayed together several times. 


When she finished the difficult takes, she felt a sense of accomplishment, which is also why I encouraged her to complete her job even if it wasn’t easy. I didn’t force her. I just gave her a pep talk to calm her nerves. We also chatted about how I used to get scared and cry and we had a good laugh about it. 

Kids need to be conditioned to do hard things. For as long as these “things” aren’t abusive, against God’s Word, or imposed upon them because a parent is trying to live out their dreams through them, then kids can benefit from positive pressure, healthy competition, real world challenges, and difficult character-building tasks. However, it matters how we process the experiences with them, reminding them that motivations, purposes out to be for the Lord, and empowering ought to come from the Lord. 

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”‭‭ 2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭

When I asked Tiana, “How were you able to do all your lines and acting?”, her sweet response was, “I have Jesus in me…”