Sweet Beedie Dies

What a sad morning.

Beedie, one of Edan’s cockatiels, died at about 10 AM. We were all pretty devastated. But Edan was especially despondent. When I pulled Beedie out of the cage and showed Edan his lifeless body, he walked away, up the stairs to be alone and cry.

I cried, too.

Beedie was the sweetest bird. And my heart ached for Edan.

Edan’s a pretty dutiful boy. He had a routine with his two cockatiels. Every morning he would change the water, feed them, and spend time playing with them. Beedie was his favorite because he was very good-natured. Whenever Edan would extend his fingers to him, Beedie would willingly climb on and chirp a happy tune.

I wish I hadn’t been the last to see him alive. He wasn’t doing too well early this morning. My dad used to breed cockatiels and parakeets so I knew that Beedie had all the symptoms of a sick bird. His head was bowed down, his eyes were closed and he refused to eat or drink anything. I didn’t expect him to survive for very much longer. But it was still hard to see him keeled over, his claws curled under him, with one eye shut and the other half open. He wasn’t breathing anymore. Geedie (Edan’s other cockatiel) looked on in a lonely sort of way.

Although I’m not entirely sure of what made him sick, I have a theory.  About two weeks ago I told Edan to quick tossing his cockatiels up into the air to make them fly. They came from the pet shop with their wings clipped so they couldn’t fly very far at all. Edan thought he was “helping them” learn how to fly. But I kept telling him that birds instinctively know how to fly. My fear was he was stressing them out by forcing them to fly when they obviously couldn’t because their wings were clipped.

Well, he forgot that I had told him this. A few days ago, Edan experimented with flying lessons again and Beedie accidentally dove into the pond in the garden because he couldn’t flap his wings very well. Edan freaked out and called Elijah who ran over to rescue Beedie. When the kids reported to me what happened, I reminded Edan that he wasn’t supposed to throw the birds up into the air. I also expressed concern that Beedie might get sick.

I know birds bathe in water but this was dirty pond water. And I’m pretty sure Beedie gulped in some of it. His feces were loose and the wrong color before he died.

Birds are really sensitive. And once they get sick, it’s not very likely that they will recover.

As a mom, I really wanted to spare Edan from experiencing the loss of his bird. But I couldn’t. I even prayed that he would live. But God didn’t let that happen.

To empathize with Edan, I held him for a while as we both cried about Beedie. We looked at the picture on my phone when we got him from the pet store and that made us cry even more.

This afternoon, I tried, in a very gentle way to ask Edan if he learned anything from this unfortunate experience…especially in the area of obedience. At the time he was hanging out with his cousins and his reply was, “Yes mom, but I don’t want to talk about it in front of my cousins.”

When it was just the two of us, I asked him again and he admitted to me that he should have obeyed and taken better care of Beedie, specifically, he should have NOT thrown him into the air to fly or twirled him around. As he went out the door of the study room, he also added, “The punishment of sin is death.” I actually laughed when he said this because I didn’t expect such an insightful comment from him. We both smiled at one another.

Obedience is a principle that my children will have to keep on learning as they grow up. The first command we teach our children is to obey. When our kids are younger, we emphasize it a lot. We even spank for disobedience. But as they get older, we don’t force them to obey. By about 6 or 7, they usually get obedience, and they understand why it is important. The next stage of their instruction when it comes to obeying is developing a conviction for it.

We want them to connect obedience with blessing. And when they don’t obey it’s beneficial for them to experience the consequences of their choices, even if hurts to watch this happen as a parent. My parents taught my siblings and I, “you are free to choose but not free to escape the consequences of your choices.”

As an 8 year old, Edan experienced a life lesson I hope he will not forget. It was painful for him to loose Beedie. But it would be more painful for him in the future if he didn’t internalize obedience this early on.

He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.” John 3:36

For homeschooling today, I asked Edan to write a tribute to Beedie so he can remember him…

Beedie was my Cocktail and he died today. We had him for 18 days. He was a kind bird. I loved him so much…. He was also loving, and happy. He was my pet. Everyday we would play together. I would clean his cage every day. He was a child bird, not yet an adult. In the morning he would call out for me.

But today he was very sick. When I checked on him, he was weak and he wouldn’t eat or drink. A few hours later he died. I felt sad. I will miss him very much. I had lots of fun with him. He was my favourite pet….

_____

WAAAAHHH (THAT’S ME…) 

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Real Wealth

We checked on the status of our house a few days ago. It was exciting to see all the bedroom furniture being assembled in the rooms. Once the bedrooms are done, we can move in even if the rest of the house isn’t completely finished yet. Well, that’s the plan. Edric’s plan. Most people have said this is the best way to move things along when you are in the finishing stages.

When we were at the site, the kids ran up the stairs to look into the rooms, eager to see their personal spaces taking form. In the boy’s room, we assigned areas.

“Elijah this will be your bed, Edan this is yours and Titus this is for you.”

The boys started cheering and Titus pointed to the floor and asked, “On the floor?” There was no disappointment in his tone. He identified a spot in between two beds and waited for me to confirm it.

I took his face in my hands and said, “Oh no honey, you will have your own bed!” And I started to tear. It probably sounds silly that I did. But if you know Titus, how candid and unpretentious he can be, then my reaction would make sense. He has never complained about sleeping on a mat, on the floor. For him this has been the manner of his place as the youngest son. He didn’t have a “real” bed because there was no room for one in our condo. But at that moment I was showing him a new bed frame and he didn’t see it. He just assumed he would be getting the floor as always.

When I corrected him, he was like, “Really? Yeah! I will have my own bed!”

And he went on to say, “You know,
Mom, I never liked sleeping on the floor…”

I went to the bathroom and composed myself because I was VERY teary-eyed by then. Edric saw me and took me in his arms. Both of us stood there in gratefulness and amazement for the house that God has given to us. It’s a big upgrade for our entire family. Previously, we lived in 137 square meters shared between 9 people (our family and two househelps).

That is still larger than 90% of what the world’s population probably lives in. So I am not saying that we had a bad deal. But I grew up in a large house and when I got married, our first home — a one bedroom condo — was relatively small.

God taught me through the years to look forward to his provision and not to worry about when it would come. Besides, I didn’t need our first home to be larger. I had to do all the cleaning so I was okay with small! More importantly, Edric was in it and that’s what mattered to me. There was love, joy, and peace…things that expanded infinitely beyond the four walls of our home.

We had friends who started off with generously sized houses when they were newly married. That was not our beginning. We did not have much, financially speaking, so our initial home was simple. In fact, when we had our eldest, Elijah, he didn’t even have a crib for a while. He slept on a mattress on the floor. When I needed to feed him at night, I would go down to the floor and sleep beside him.

It’s amazing that he didn’t crawl off! The floor was carpeted so he wasn’t in danger of hitting himself. I think we put all kinds of pillows around him to keep him safe. Well…I probably would’ve been chided by sleep safe advocates, but back then, it was our best option.

God increased the size of our home as children were added. When Edan was born, we moved to a three bedroom condo. It suited us just fine until our fifth, Catalina, came along. Thankfully, by then, we were building our house.

In September 2013, we said goodbye to our condo and had it renovated shortly after. We had most of our belongings boxed up and stored in a warehouse. In the interim we stayed at my parents, and Edric’s for a bit, too. (We are still in this nomadic state until our final move.)

Our most recent home with hardly anything left in it…

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After we finished renovating the condo, I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I was excited that we had moved out and moved on. But on the other hand, we spent 8 years in that place. It was hard for me to say goodbye. Even if it was emptied out, retouched and repainted, I still had visions of our children in the rooms, playing, laughing, growing up.

I will miss every inch of that three bedroom condo. It was cozy. It had the smells and sounds of us.

When Titus made the comment about the floor, I thought of how
God has been our faithful provider. I know others may get their house and lot dreams fulfilled much earlier. And maybe others are still waiting on theirs, but for us this is neither too early or too late.

If it had happened sooner we wouldn’t have been ready. Edric and I needed to learn simplicity, humility, gratitude, and so did our children. We are still learning these virtues. But had we skipped to the house and lot bit of our history without going through condo living and tighter spaces, we might have become casualties of too much comfort. It’s always easier to upgrade than to downgrade, to upsize than to downsize.

I like our Heavenly Father’s manner of blessing, too. He is and always will be the source of infinite resources and abundance, but he tempers and minds the valve that releases these to his children. Material things have a way of replacing our spiritual hunger for the eternal. And, there is nothing more impoverishing to the human soul than to be stuffed full of prosperity and thereby emptied of the want for God.

Edric used to tell me that this passage was one of his favorites. “O God, I beg two favors from you; let me have them before I die. First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord ?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name. (Proverbs 30:7-9 NLT)

I have to admit that when he told me this was one of his “prayers” I thought, “Oh great, that’s it. We are never going to be rich.” But my mindset was all wrong. I was thinking that money would bring me security and happiness. It’s not that I wanted loads of it to spend on myself. I just wanted to know we had it, that we didn’t have to worry about where it would come from.

Well, God allowed Edric and I to begin simply to teach me not to anchor my faith on money but on Him. When I learned to live with less — less money, less space, less possessions — I found that I always had more than enough to be happy and thankful for. I like what English clergyman and writer Thomas Fuller said, “Riches enlarge rather than satisfy appetites.”

I am not saying that I have graduated from contentment. Not at all! This is a lesson that needs to be learned and re-learned depending on the circumstances that test it. Neither am I saying that money is unimportant. Edric and I have five kids! Money is necessary and very much welcome whenever it comes. What I am saying is that starting off with a small home and having a very limited budget to work with when we were newly married was a blessing. It was God’s master plan for our character development.

From this genesis Edric and I grew to understand that God always takes care of his children. We also learned that abundance is not the condition for true joy. True joy is to know God and his love for us, to be certain that his plans for our welfare are always for our good.

What is a big house without God in the hearts of those who live in it? And conversely, the tiniest of spaces could be home to the richest people on earth — people who abound with the joy of the God, who can laugh, cry, and love without fear, who extend forgiveness and grace to one another, who can sleep peacefully at night, and wake up with hopeful expectation and the gift of new mercies.

With just a few weeks left till we are finally in our “dream home”, a house that only God could’ve built and provided for, I want to remember that real wealth is the treasure of Jesus Christ. It is not the absence of struggle or the fulfillment of desire. It is the recognition and enjoyment of His presence with the ones we cherish the most, and finding that we can be fully satisfied during seasons of want and seasons of plenty because he is with us, in our home, and in our hearts.

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Homemaking is Not Boring

As a homemaker, I never seem to be bored. Well, I do have five kids so that keeps me busy. But I am talking about not running out of fun things to do and learn, too. There is always a new way to cook chicken, a craft project to beautify the home, a skill to add to your repertoire of handy-manny-fixer-upper abilities, a book to read or internet site to visit to get tips on parenting, and for me, there is homeschooling and writing.

I think it helps to have friends and family who enjoy being home-based mothers, too. We feel very fulfilled and happy at home, and we enjoy exchanging stories and parenting adventures. And most of the homemakers I know have some sort of extraordinary ability or talent or even a hobby that they are able to delve into even while they take care of their homes and their children.

My sister-in-law, Jennifer, is one of those women. She recently moved to the Philippines to live. Prior to this she was based in New York. She is an incredible jewelry designer and is into all kinds of crafts. Today, she invited my friend, Marilen, and I over to make hair bows for our daughters. We had such a great time!

Jennifer has collected so much ribbon over the years, I wanted to spend all day making bows. After about an hour and a half, I made three designs. The idea was to bring clothes of our daughters’ to match the bows to.

Jennifer originally does beading classes or parties for adults or kids. Her jewelry line is called Bead Blessed. But she is open to doing bow making classes or parties, too. For p500 to p750 per person/materials included, I think it’s such a great deal. You can come up with unique pieces, and of course it is fellowshipping with other women that makes it so memorable.

Jennifer’s Samples (Bows that she has made for her daughter, Teegan):

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Clothes to match to bows:

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The tools:

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Our healthy snack:

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Our designs:

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Contact Jennifer at (0917) 302 3319
See her bead work as featured in Bride and Breakfast: http://brideandbreakfast.ph/2014/01/16/wed-colorfully-kate-spade-editorial/

Everything Breaks

The house is turning out better than I imagined thanks to our architect and contractor, but I allow myself to get stressed about little details. It doesn’t help that I am artistically inclined by nature and notice every mistake…everything…tiny chips, uneven walls, paint lines that aren’t totally clean, awkward termination points. Like Sherlock Holmes said, “My curse is, I see everything.”

During the surprise Valentines dinner Edric planned for me on the balcony, I was staring at a 1 cm chip on a tile for a bit, and I started feeling the frames of the sliding glass doors because I noticed some scratches. He was like, this is supposed to be a romantic evening. Let’s not do that. We can do that during the punchlisting.

Oh right, sorry. But that 1 cm chip kept looking back at me! Even now I am still thinking about it!

There have been occasions when it’s not just about a chip. Yesterday, for instance, I heard some pretty awful news. One of the hanging light fixtures in the dining room was broken by a supplier. I was livid. I couldn’t believe it. How could the supplier have been so careless?!

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Well, God has been using incidences like these to keep me spiritually conscious of my tendency to love the things of this world.

When I start to emotionally hyperventilate and feel frustrated about the house, Edric reminds me, “hold the things of this world lightly.” He also motions with his hand for me to relax!

He is totally right, too. At the end of the day, I have to remember that this house isn’t heaven. It’s a wonderful, amazing blessing. We want to be good stewards and fix the issues that we can. But it still represents what is temporal and fading in this world. As monumental an event as it will be for our family to move into this home after living in a condo for so many years, it cannot be the essence of what makes us a family or what brings us true joy.

I saw the broken light today. It was dangling in a sad way with the bulb exposed on one side. The kids gasped when they saw it. (The good news is the supplier is going to replace it.)

Of course I felt disappointed that the accident happened in the first place, but I thought of all the other things that will eventually break, get stained, fall apart, crack, and deteriorate over time. Such is the manner of the world we live in.

So while I am totally excited about moving into our new house, I cannot forget that it’s the things of eternity that I have to hold tightly.

Will our family love one another in this home as God’s word tells us to? Will it be a place where people feel welcome and loved? Will we use it for God’s work and kingdom? Will it’s atmosphere be characterized by a happiness and peace that points people to Jesus?

I pray our home can be all these things and more…things that will not pass away.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away. (Matthew 24:35 NASB)

My New Year’s REVOLUTION

I am revolting against my fat. Two weeks ago, I resumed P90X’s Ab Ripper X and my abs felt like they were ripping. Not ripping with muscle, ripping in PAIN!

Over the holidays I just lost it with my eating. Every sweet thing was in my hand and I thought, my genetics will overcome this. What pride. What a fool.

After I gave birth, I was just 6 pounds shy of my pre-pregnancy weight. A month after, I started running and my mom was like, “Your insides are going to fall out.” Okay, so I took a break. A LOOONG BREAK.

Now I am 10 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Darn. I might as well be 5 months pregnant because that’s how much I weighed when I was!

Christmas came along, buffet meals, sweets, delectable treats and bam! Pounds. Flabbiness. Muffin top. Tummy. I thought, I’m burning 500 calories a day as a breastfeeding mom. Just shovel it all in. I’m a milk producing machine that needs all of this. I’m hungry. I can eat anything.

Reality check. I ate anything and everything and I wasn’t selective and healthy about my choices. Now I have to contend with 10 pounds to lose.

At my age, it’s not that easy. I am up against the law of Thermodynamics, the tendency towards atrophy. I’m going to have to work really hard to get my muscle tone back so my metabolism kicks in.

I knew I needed to get back into shape when my husband, Edric, mentioned that WE need to work out.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “It’s my butt, right? I actually have a butt now, it’s getting bigger! Is that it?”

“I don’t want to say anything. I’m trying to be Christ-like, remember?”

“But I want to know the truth. Tell me the truth! I need to lose weight. Just say it.”

Is there any husband in the world that can win this discussion? Of course not. But I really wanted Edric to tell me what he thought my problem areas were. Actually, I just wanted affirmation for what I knew to be true about my problem areas so I would have greater resolve to stop eating so much.

Finally, he admitted that I have gotten “curvier” (right. safe words) but for my health’s sake, I do need to exercise. It was a softer blow…

So the very next day we ran and did our ab workout. Hoowee. World of pain. But I’m excited. I don’t want to make excuses. It’s safe to exercise now. Catalina is almost 6 months! And I don’t want to grow older without trying my best to be fit and healthy.

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I like how Edric said it the other day. We need to be fit to fight. Fit to tackle life’s challenges – parenting, ministry, work, etc. Plus, I’m always telling women, we need to try to look our best whatever season of our lives. Now it’s time to eat those words and stop eating junk food and candy. The challenge is on!

Step 1: Run every other day and do Ab Ripper X with Edric

Step 2: Get rid of junk food and sweets in the kitchen cabinets (90% done)

Step 3: Drink a ton of water

Step 4: Eat brown rice instead of white (Been doing this)

Step 5: Get more sleep (IMPOSSIBLE, for now, but I will try.)

The first few runs were the hardest because my body was used to a sedentary lifestyle. But exercise is amazing. Once I started getting into a rhythm of waking up early to run, my body began to look for it.

It will probably take me a couple of months to lose 10 pounds if I do it the healthy way. I don’t believe in dieting. Diet has the word DIE in it which is very telling. But I do believe in being thoughtful about what I eat and finding the right fitness program for my body type.

For example, I cannot lift alot of weights. I will look like a she-hulk. My body easily bulks in a bad way. But running increases my metabolism so that I burn fat more efficiently. And doing abdominal exercises works out my biggest problem area. So it is a good combination for me to do both.

I will start out with this and then see what I can add to my routine after a few weeks. It usually takes me about two months to see significant results.

In the meantime this verse motivates me.Philippians 4:7 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”

What To Do About Santa

Santa Claus image taken from skytop.com

Santa Claus image taken from skytop.com

I should’ve published this earlier but just got around to it this evening…

In our home we don’t make Santa a part of our Christmas celebrations. Our kids don’t believe in Santa. Some people will shoot me for saying this. I know that Santa Claus is a huge part of Christmas for a majority of families. Personally, we don’t want our kids to buy into a fallacy and get really disappointed in the future when they realise that he doesn’t exist.

We aren’t anti-Santa like he is some sort of Satanic figure. (Same letters in Santa also spell Satan?!) If families want to make Santa Claus a part of their Christmas tradition, that’s their call. He’s a cute, cuddly man in a red suit who loves children.

But if you would like to know why we don’t encourage our kids to believe in him, then read on…

1. He isn’t real. I already said that right? We also don’t celebrate Easter by glorifying the Easter Bunny.

2. Since he isn’t real, it’s lying to say he is.

3. How long will you have to defend Santa if he isn’t real?

4. We treat Santa like we would any other character that is just “pretend.” The kids know that he is a part of Christmas celebrations around the world (not ours) but they think of him like they would ginger bread houses, elves, and flying reindeers. It’s all pretend. Our kids are pretty logical, too. How can one man be in a billion places at one time unless he has divine powers?

I wrote this short article as a response to a question that a reader asked me about Santa. Personally, I believe there are some things worth dying for and there are other things that are subject to debate. Whether it is wrong or right to include Santa Claus in Christmas traditions is something I will leave for the theologists out there to determine. After all, we could question other things…like what about Christmas trees? What about gift giving? We aren’t extremists.

So our conclusion…Santa Claus is a nice guy but in our home, it is our personal conviction that raising our children to believe in him and his magical powers would mean we would have to deceive our kids. More importantly, we don’t want Santa Claus to have center stage or to eclipse the central figure of Christmas in our home — Jesus Christ.

Teaching Children to Make Wise Choices

My kids like to use the IPads and computers for games. For about 4 months they were banned from gadgets so we could finish our homeschooling year. But after I gave birth, online educational programs and apps were a big help to keep the kids productive while I was busy with Catalina.

We stuck to certain parameters.

1. Is the game or app educational?
2. Will it help to develop an important skill?
3. Will it allow you to grow in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and men? (Luke 2:52)
4. Playing games have time limits attached to their use.

Our kids know my apple ID and password. But they don’t abuse it. They will always ask for permission before getting an app, even if it is free. And they know what their boundaries are in terms of criteria.

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About two years ago, my second son, Edan, got hooked on Plants vs Zombies. He was obsessed with it. It was the first time I became concerned about letting the kids use the iPad for fun. I felt like we had opened a Pandora’s box as a family and let in the game monster. Edan of all my other children seemed to have a greater tendency towards addiction. He was more vulnerable.

In fact he admitted to me recently that the danger of computer games for him is he thinks about them even when he isn’t playing.

Every child is different and as parents we need to know what their strengths and weaknesses are. Elijah, for example, can self regulate and say, “Okay, I don’t want to play with gadgets for a week because I don’t want to get addicted.” And he can busy himself with reading and other interests.

However, Edan is different. He has a harder time controlling his desire for gaming. So we need to help him and avoid putting him in predicaments where he can “feed” that side of him.

A few days ago he came up to me asking if he could install a certain app. It was a game. It wasn’t educational. I struggled as a mom. Edan is a good son. By God’s grace, he is obedient, too. When he asked me, I could see the DESIRE in his eyes. He wanted the game and his happiness seemed to hinge on my response.

So I gave him the opportunity to present why he liked the game, to hear him out. And then I asked him very gently and thoughtfully, “Is this game educational?”

He answered, “No.”

“Is it a business game? Will it teach you business principles?”

“No.” His shoulders hunched over and he seemed disheartened.

“Will it help you to grow in wisdom, stature, favor with God and man? (Luke 2:52)

He shook his head and started to tear.

“Do you think you should get it then?”

When I asked this, he started to cry out loud. He already knew the answer.

Oh my heart broke as a mom. I hugged him. I knew it was important to him and he wanted the game very badly. He had taken a step of faith when he asked me. And a part of me was tempted to give in and then to remove the app later
on if it really was destructive.

But I had to be consistent. I had to consider his greater good and not just his present happiness. So I said something like this…”Edan, mommy wants you to enjoy playing games. I like you to have fun. But you need to find a game that will help you to develop a skill. It can’t be for entertainment purposes only. So why don’t you find something that is educational and present it to me as an option?”

Well, he was able to find an incredible app called Paper 53. It’s a great app for artists. Edan understands balance and symmetry without having learned these concepts so I know that he can hone his artistic abilities. When he showed me the app, I heartily agreed to get it for him because it would be a profitable use of his time.

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I wanted to share this because we need to teach our older children to make wise choices, to weigh the pros and cons of a decision. When they are younger, we can pull off the “obey because I said so.” But this has to change as they grow up. We don’t want them to obey on the outside but harbor resentment and rebellion on the inside. So it helps to get them to think through their decision making process, especially when it comes to dealing with the desires of the heart.

My parents used the same approach with me when I was interested in dating someone who would have been a poor choice. They took me out to dinner and asked me the right questions. Over the course of the conversation, just like Edan, I cried, but I knew what I had to do. I was able to arrive at a discerning conclusion and I did not entertain the guys attempts to pursue a relationship with me. I was 15.

We don’t want to raise children who have an underdeveloped capacity for sound judgement. So it helps to start off with clear principles that we want to live by as a family. And then we need to teach these to our children, reinforcing these principles by our own adherence to them and our consistency in upholding them in the home. When they are in predicaments that can lead to a violation of a principle, the asking-questions-part comes in. Let them consider whether their choices or actions favor those principles or go against them so they take ownership of their decisions. It also helps when we communicate trust in their capacity to make wise choices that please God because he is present in their lives.

A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out. (Proverbs 20:5 NASB)

PARAPHRASED FOR PARENTING: “The intentions in the heart of a child are like deep waters but a parent of understanding draws them out.”

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Homemade Gift Tags

Paper crafts are another one of my loves. And every Christmas I design gift tags for myself and others as gifts. With a coloured printer and sticker paper, plus my wonderful paper cuter, I make personalized tags for family members.

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And since I spent so much time designing them on photoshop, you can download and print them for free! Gift Tags My gift to you! Enjoy…

Counterflow! (Updated Details)

Don’t miss this event. Attending a parenting seminar like this immensely helped Edric and I become better parents. We learned valuable principles that we have applied as we raise our children.

Counterflow is about parenting against the tide of modern thinking which has removed God from the equation and turned towards humanistic philosophies and perspectives on how to bring up children. Man-centric child rearing is on a dark path. We are seeing a rise in a generation of young people who do not have a moral compass, who are sexually promiscuous, who struggle with gender confusion, who live in a virtual world, who are addicted to social media, who act out violent fantasies, and who are victims of broken homes.

We need to change this. We need to stand against this tidal wave and save the next generation.

The content of this seminar will focus on big picture parenting and how to teach, influence and disciple your child at every stage of their lives from baby to young adult. Even singles are welcome! Find out what kind of parent you need to be before you start a family. Hope to see you there!

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Everyone Matters

Ever since we had three of our househelp get pregnant as single women, we decided to be more intentional about making sure they get into the word of God and grow in their faith. In the past we would share the gospel with them and talk to them about what it means to have a relationship with Christ, but this wasn’t enough. God convicted me about their need for discipleship.

But I was at a lost. There was no way I could teach a bible study in Tagalog. It wouldn’t be effective.

My sister-in-law, Jenny, suggested that I send them to the same bible study her girls were attending. At first, I was hesitant. I had to think about it. Time-wise, they would be gone an entire morning. With four kids to homeschool and a baby to take care of, it would be a challenge for me. Plus, I needed to prepare lunch for Edric, too.

I talked to Edric about it and he thought it was a great idea. So I started sending our househelp to a tagalog bible study once a week. They really enjoyed it and told me they even had “homework.”

Today, they were gone for about four hours (including travel time). Amazingly, I got through the morning! There were many interruptions because of Catalina but we got SOME homeschool work done.

Tiana doing some Sing, Spell, Read and Write work:
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Titus doing some Sing, Spell, Read, and Write work, too:
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Elijah and Edan collaborating for a presentation on the history of human anatomy:
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Catalina frowning while sleeping for only 10 minutes:

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It wasn’t the easiest morning but we were still smiling!

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My househelp has been going to bible study for about two months now. It has turned out to be a wonderful decision. The group is pretty sizable and they even have a retreat and Christmas party coming up. They are going through a material called Won-by-One, which gives them a really good foundation in biblical truth.

I find that giving them this break during the week makes a big difference in their attitude toward work, too. They are more motivated, positive and appreciative.

God has brought these people into our lives for a reason. I don’t think it’s an accident that they are in our home. I am absolutely certain he wants our family to be a testimony to them, to minister to their spiritual needs, and to attract them to Christ. So apart from encouraging them to be present at their bible study and read their bibles, we are careful about the way we treat them. We don’t yell at them and we are reasonable bosses. Imagine how ineffective a weekly bible study would be if they thought we were complete hypocrites about Christianity!

One time they asked me why I don’t get angry. Apparently they pay close attention to the way I treat them, especially when they make a mistake and they know I don’t go ballistic. They also observed that Edric and I don’t scream at one another or our kids. It was an opportunity for me to tell them that it’s because I (we) have a relationship with Jesus. I told them he is the one that makes a difference in us. It’s all him.

Everyone matters to the Lord. He loves the women and men who work for our family. He values them and he wants them to have a personal relationship with him, too. Therefore, their spiritual condition is something we concern ourselves with.

Someday, we will have to stand accountable before God. We cannot force our household help to follow him. That is out of our control. But, did we do our best to lead them to Christ? By example? By the way we treated them? By making it possible for them to encounter him and grow in their relationship to him?

I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it. (1 Corinthians 9:23 NASB)

Don’t Make This Heaven

Catalina picked up a bug again. But so far, it hasn’t progressed to a dangerous point. Whew. She’s stuffed up and coughing but smiley, interactive, and eating well.

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I was stressed out when she came down with another respiratory illness. After all it was just one month ago that she had her second confinement. We tried our best to isolate her. I made people wear masks. No sick person was allowed near her. She was kept at home when we went out. But she developed a cold nonetheless.

While I was running I had my prayer time. I shared with the Lord my concern and worry. I was so paranoid about Catalina being sick because I didn’t want her to relive being in the hospital again. At night I watched her and held her just to make sure she could sleep in an upright position to ease her congestion. I felt discouraged that all my efforts to protect her in the last month amounted to this. But God spoke to me. He told me, hey, this is normal. People get sick. The perfect, pristine, germ-free, problem-free world I want for Catalina and the rest of my kids does not exist here. This is earth. In this world, there is disease, heart ache, poverty, injustice and suffering. There are natural disasters (like the recent earth quake in Bohol), calamities and evil people.

However, the sentiment that followed was…don’t lose heart. This isn’t home. This isn’t it. This isn’t final.

I need to back track a little and explain that we have been at the finishing stages of our housebuilding. The prospect of our own home was making me feel more situated on earth than ever before. I could finally settle down and root myself somewhere. No more condo living (which always felt very transient.) This was going to be a home to grow old in and enjoy our children in.

I had visions of the life we would have…the children playing in the yard, gardening, homeschooling in our new study room, cooking in our much bigger kitchen, going for evening walks as a family, spending time in the family room, having barbecues on the patio, entertaining guests, and on and on. Each of these fantasies was haloed by fair weather clouds and sparkly sunshine.

Then pop! Catalina’s cold happened. I needed to be reminded that this is a passing, fading, fallen world.

In a very subtle way, I saw the house as the fulfillment of my earthly wishes. But here’s what God has been impressing upon me: Don’t make this heaven. Don’t anchor your heart here, in this disease-stricken world (disease-stricken in more ways than just the physical). Do not fall in love with it. Enjoy your new home when it comes but don’t forget, this is just earth. Don’t get too cozy and comfortable. You are not in your permanent residence yet. You are still in transit. And while you are on temporary status don’t forget your real purpose.

My real purpose is tell people about God. God loves us. He gave us his son, Jesus, to die for us and pay the penalty of sin so we can have eternal life.

Whatever happiness and blessings we receive now are but a foreshadow of the riches of eternity. And whatever trials we experience at present ought to make us long for what God has prepared for us. The apostle Paul so beautifully describes it as this: “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man, All that God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9 NASB)

The Thoughtful Things Children Do

A few days ago I mentioned to Edan that I would appreciate it if he did not knock on the door when it was closed. He had knocked incessantly and it woke Catalina up. Lately, all my kids have been doing the same thing when they want to ask me a question and the door is locked. I explained to Edan that the door is locked so I can feed Catalina, put her to sleep or rest.

Edan understood and asked “Do you want me to make you some signs?” He wanted to be helpful.

“Sure! That’s a good idea!” I said.

I didn’t think he would remember but earlier today he very thoughtfully made me three signs. He slipped them under the door while I was preoccupied with Catalina.

Allow me to interpret them…

The first one: Mom is putting Catalina to sleep

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The second one: Mom is sleeping with Catalina

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The third one (my favorite): Mommy is feeding Catalina

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Children are such a joy!