My Out-of-the-Box Child

May 4, 2013 By 1 Comment

I’ve said it before that Titus often fascinates me because he is such an out-of-the-box thinker and he has learned many things on his own.

One afternoon he was counting aloud by 10s (something I had not taught him). He counted all the way up to 100. I turned over to him and said, “Where did you learn that? Who taught you that?” His Jedi-like reply was, “I know many things, mom.”

At this statement I started laughing really hard. He meant it with all sincerity. I followed up with, “Yes, but HOW did you learn to count by 10s?” Once again, I found it comedic when he said, “I think, mom! I just think!” It was almost like he was insulted that I questioned his ability to understand concepts on his own.

Recently, when my nieces, nephews and kids were doing a puppet show with my sister-in-law she asked everyone to make their puppets stand on their heads. Titus was the only one that thought of bending his puppet in half so that its feet touched its head…literally, standing on its head!

Because I haven’t spent too much time “teaching” him formally, I will have to give credit to John Holt’s idea that children are learning all the time. When they are not forced to learn too early, but provided with a stimulating, enriching environment in which to explore, create, build, invent, and discover, they educate themselves. Learning happens naturally and very often in the context of play. Titus certainly needs character training like my other children, but he has caught on just fine with the academics even without too much one-on-one instruction from me.

At four years old, he can read, comprehend, he is beginning to write better, he understands fundamental math concepts, and he is developing normally. He may not be as articulate as his older brothers were at his age, but he is a loving, happy, curious, and determined child…with a very positive opinion about himself. When I am teaching him, he will say, “This is sooo easy, mom!” And then he will start working and be like, “How do you do this again?”

I laugh alot with Titus. He has a unique perspective that I treasure as a mom. I appreciate that he doesn’t think linearly and that he pays attention to things that others might take forgranted.

One time he picked up a flattened fruit loop that was left on the floor of our condominium lobby. Everyone else thought it was dirty. But he picked it up and put it in his pocket. I didn’t realize this until we were in the car and he was cradling it in his hand. I told him he should throw it. After all, who knows where that fruit loop came from or who stepped on it? But he begged me to keep it.

Heck. Why not, I thought. If it matters that much to him and it isn’t a life and death issue, why can’t he be himself and keep it? He’s the only one who thought of doing so anyway and it’s important to him. So I told him he could and that made his day. A little fruit loop. I made him promise not to eat it and he didn’t.Whew!

Titus has stretched my parenting muscles a lot. I used to get really frustrated with him because he would take things apart, break his toys, color and draw in his books, tear out pages, peel the labels off things like crayons (he still does), hide objects under his bed like marbles and cereal, get himself into precarious predicaments, and bullheadedly insist on his way.

For example, when he was 8 months old, he weaned himself from breastfeeding. I was so upset and sad about it. None of my other children did this. I really wanted him to breastfeed for longer to keep bonding with him. But he insisted that he was ready to move on to the bottle. My fear was he would be deprived of affection because he was my third child. Without those bonding sessions, I didn’t get to hold him as often.

This was my first experience with Titus’ different way of doing things. Initially, I wanted to control him. I wanted to force him to breastfeed. But he ended up biting me! So that was it, I surrendered that stage over to the Lord. Crying and depressed, I accepted his decision to wean.

Such was the beginning of my parenting adventures with Titus. It took me a while to recognize that God designed Titus with a personality that was hand-picked by Him for a reason and purpose.

Titus turned out to be one my most affectionate children, my big hugger. In fact, he is such a touch person, he will randomly head butt people to get their attention! On certain mornings, he will crawl into bed beside me after he wakes up and let me drape my whole self around him like a pillow. He is the only one who will lie there contentedly and still. He won’t squirm away or complain that I am too heavy. And he will come up to me and randomly hug and kiss me during the day without being asked to. Who would ever have thought my earliest weaned baby would have become like this?

I love all my children equally but God taught me how to love my Titus. Through Titus, God has helped me to grow in character, especially in the area of patience!

His birthday is coming up in two days and I wanted to write this to celebrate the joy and color that he has brought into our lives. I could’ve missed out on appreciating him had I placed him in a mold of my own liking…to make my parenting “convenient.” But God made certain children out-of-the-box — children who make us see the world differently, who challenge the norm (in a good way), who keep us from getting complacent about our parenting, and who make us dependent upon the Lord for the creativity and wisdom we need to instruct them. Titus is special just the way he is and I hope that Edric and I can keep encouraging him to grow in the Lord and become the man that God wants him to be.

 

 

Be A Hugger Not a Slugger

March 9, 2013 By 7 Comments

There are days when my kids have a rough time dealing with homeschooling and all they need is a big, long hug to make it through. Yesterday, I was homeschooling Elijah at Edric’s office. I took the four kids with me, armed with art supplies and a couple of their books so they could be productive while waiting for me finish some last minute details for an event we had today.

It was my brilliant idea to have no help with me but I thought, it will be a good chance for the kids to step up and take care of one another. They were great. I was at the office from 8:30 AM to 7 PM and they made it through. In the morning, I sat them around a small table and assigned them their tasks for the day. There was a little bit of complaining, but for the most part, they did as they were told. Titus, who needs more one-on-one instruction, only got through 1 page of math work. But I thought, aw heck, it’s okay, we’ll make it up another day. I didn’t have time to sit down beside him. Elijah looked at his Language Arts material and started to get upset. “I can’t do this, mom! I can’t do this right.”

I came over to his side and said, “I know what you need. All you need is a big hug. Come here. Come to me.” Since Elijah is an affectionate child, he will never turn down the opportunity for a hug from mommy or daddy. He stood up, collapsed into my arms and I held him really tightly. “I love you, hon.” And I hugged him in the most reassuring way I could and he began to smile. “Do you feel better?” I asked him. “I do, mom. Thanks.” He sat back down in front of the same book and completed his work.

Titus (who is also very affectionate), called out to me, “What about me, mom? Can you hug me, too?” I also took him in my arms and gave him a very big hug.

Touch and affection have proven to be helpful remedies to my children’s frustrations, especially when they are studying. During many occasions I have used a back rub, massage, hug or kiss on the cheek to calm my kids down so they feel relaxed when they are learning. I’ve had instances when Edan has cried out, “Mom, I need help!” And I will come over to where he is sitting and he will say, “Can you massage my back?” So I will rub his back for a while and then, when I forget to keep going, he will point to his back again and say, “Mom…massage…”

Sometimes, I don’t have the spiritual presence of mind to be so tender towards my kids, especially when I’m focused on accomplishing a goal. I can be a verbal “slugger” used in the sense of “someone who delivers hard swinging punches.” Like, mouthing out bible verses, lecturing about attitude, yakking about what they ought to do and how they ought to behave. But after attending a talk on the power of touch, I thought that maybe I could use it with my kids during homeschooling. And it has worked wonders to motivate them when they are struggling through a lesson. It also helps to keep me composed so I can respond in a gentle, spirit-filled way. Hugging makes me relax, too! How can I be annoyed while I am embracing my kids?! When I hug them I realize how much I do love them, how much I want to be a mom that is an encourager. So it is mutually beneficial!

My children can be “weak” emotionally speaking because they are still in the process of maturing so I like how 1 Thessalonians 4:14-15 reminds me to,” admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.”

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

Teens and the Web – Eyeopening Statistics You Should Know About

February 21, 2013 By Leave a Comment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source:Teens and the Web by onlineclasses.org

 

My T.A.

February 20, 2013 By 2 Comments

I have a teacher’s assistant, also known as Edan, my second son. He is an incredible help to me when it comes to homeschooling Tiana. With his methodical and systematic way of doing things, he comes up with activities for her to do when the others are homeschooling or like a good soldier, he will implement assignments that I delegate to him. Tiana calls him “Teacher Edan” during her lessons and what a relief it has been to have him preoccupy her so I can give attention to Titus when he needs one-on-one instruction.

I have told Edan many times how valuable he is to me. And the thing is, he really enjoys being a teacher. He gets a deep sense of fulfillment out of the experience and he is quite patient. Sometimes, he does get annoyed when Tiana doesn’t focus. But hey, she is like 2 years old. Her attention span is 5 minutes or less.

Today, I laughed when Edan said, “Mom, it is going to take Tiana ONE YEAR to learn all the things that you asked me to teach her!” She was a bit distracted when he was asking her to complete a pattern. But most of the time, he’s got her attention and she is participatory and engaged. The benefit to Edan is that he is learning communication skills and reinforcing his own knowledge of academic matter…not to mention putting character traits into practice.

Seeing my kids look out for each other is one of my delights as a homeschooling mom. It’s not easy to teach four kids who are at different levels and have varying needs, but Edan’s assistance provides me with daily encouragement. Multi-level homeschooling is so much easier when siblings contribute and help one another. Furthermore, I am realizing that children respond to the expectations you have of them. Whenever I see Edan volunteering to teach Tiana, I say, “You are such a great teacher, Edan!” It motivates him to live up to this positive label.

One time, a bunch of his cousins were coming over and he told me, “Mom, I am going to take care of all the younger kids. I will plan the games and activities. I will be in charge.” He named each one of the kids he was going to be responsible for. He left out Elijah and an older cousin because, according to him, they could fend for themselves.

I took a couple of photographs of Tiana homeschooling under “Teacher Edan.” Some of the activities were ideas I learned from reading about the Montessori method.

Good Reads for Homeschooling and Parenting

February 15, 2013 By 4 Comments

I was cleaning out my shelves when I realized, hey! I have quite a number of books I’ve read on homeschooling and parenting that may benefit others. And since parents often ask me what they should read or what resources can help them get started, I hope this answers that question. This is a growing list so I will just add as I finish a book.

Some of these books I skimmed through and others I really devoured. But they have all been such wonderful sources of information, inspiration, confidence and conviction-building for homeschooling moms like me. You don’t have to read everything on this list to start homeschooling. I know it probably looks a bit overwhelming and there is so much more out there that I have not included here. But if you click on the links, you may get a better idea of what appeals to you. Amazon always gives a pretty thorough description and has objective reviews on their books.

Recommendations (in no particular order):

 

 

 

 

Time to Pursue Interests

November 29, 2012 By 3 Comments

Homeschooling gives the kids plenty of time to pursue their interests. Edan, my second son, enjoys art. So he often asks if we can do art together. Elijah also likes painting so he joins in, too. Today, we didn’t do any book work. We just did painting and some projects for social studies. Titus and Tiana had their own easel where they made a big mess with paint. I am pretty laid back so mess looks like fun to me (as long as it is cleaned up afterwards).

Well, art is messy but it has many benefits. It teaches my kids to pay attention to detail. They learn proportion, balance, depth of field, perspective. Their fine motor and problem solving skills are developed as well. And one of the more important benefits is character growth. Persevering until the end, humility when corrected and while learning, appreciating the talents of others, and challenging oneself to keep improving are all part of the art experience.

I also like how art allows my kids to slow down and relax. It is amazing how painting for extended periods of time makes them calm down. Children need that. They don’t need to be harried everyday, stressing out over academics. When Edric and I were traveling in Europe, we noticed how celebrated the arts are — performing and visual arts. In Asia, hardly anyone wants their children to grow up to be artists. We tend to perceive it as a sure-fire route to starvation and poverty. So we encourage them to pursue business or finance. But what a beautiful world has come from the great artists of the past. And I would like my children to be able to appreciate this world, too. So we make room for painting, drawing, creating, building, inventing, and free play in our day as much as possible. I have noticed that when my kids are given plenty of time to pursue their interests, they are more motivated to study and learn.

Homeschooling Children with Learning Difficulties and Disabilities

September 3, 2012 By Leave a Comment
THIS IS OPEN TO ALL!
I should have posted this earlier, so I’m sorry for the very late notice…
What is the difference between a child with a learning difficulty and a child with a learning disability? How can you know if your child has a learning difficulty and a learning disability? Find out how to address and meet the needs of a child with learning difficulties and disabilities.
WHEN: Friday, September 7 at 8:30am
WHERE: 2/f Fun Ranch Frontera Verde, Ortigas Avenue, Pasig
DEADLINE: Extended until September 5, 2012.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

1. Concepts about learning difficulties and learning disabilities.

2. The learning process and the learner with learning disabilities.

3. Common traits of children with learning dissabilities and difficulties.

4. How homeschooling will work or fit into your child’s education.

5. Guidelines for homeschooling a child with learning dissabilities/difficulties.

COST: P650/PERSON or P800/HUSBAND AND WIFE

HOW TO REGISTER:

1. Fill out registration form.
2. Choose from the following mode of payment;
 Cash
 Check
 Bank deposit
Account Name: The Masters Academy Foundation Inc.

Bank Name: Bank of the Philippines Islands
Branch: Megamall
Account No: 2421-0026-413. Email a copy of the deposit slip together with the accomplished registration form to [email protected] on or before September 5, 2012.4. For inquiries please contact Miriam at 09178008257.
5. Training manuals are reserved to those who registered on the given cut-off date for registration.

Mix it Up!

July 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment

If I had to homeschool the same way every single day, I confess to you, I would be bored out of my mind. I am sort of a free-spirited chick who can handle routine for a certain period of time, but needs to mix it up once in a while. Okay, I am routine about homeschooling in the mornings, but it doesn’t have to be done the exact same way. Like this…

I wanted the kids to be outdoors. The sun was bright and shining. The grass was oh, so green. So I set up a table outdoors, brought out chairs, and a rug for the younger kids to enjoy. It made the morning so much more invigorating. Of course, the kids were sweating like anything, but they got their work done like good little homeschoolers.

Whenever I give my learning styles talk to parents, I always say, “Prioritize the love for learning.” Children are natural learners, but they don’t always learn in the way we want them to. So be willing to adjust your teaching — whether it be mode of delivery, content, environment, disposition, etc. A child who enjoys his learning experience is highly motivated and easy to teach. But if you force-fit kids into a one-size-fits-all approach to learning, it is very likely that you will get frustrated with their responses.

I wanted my son to make a collage-like painting of what the Philippines means to him and he hated the idea. He was like, “I don’t want to do that. I don’t know what to paint.” I thought it was a great idea! After all, painting is sooo fun. Well, it is to my second son, who likes to do art. But to my older son, it was like bleck. So, I suggested that he pour different colored sand into a glass bottle to show the “colors of the Philippines.” Well, that appealed to him and he did that without my assistance and it turned out beautifully.

What’s my point? When teaching your children, don’t be afraid to mix it up so you can get your goals of instruction accomplished. If your kids are having fun while homeschooling, you will finish your checklist of things to learn and get done by the end of the year (maybe even earlier).

Look at Edan’s serious face…deep in thought about Sing, Spell, Read, and Write. And there is Elijah’s head while he reads his Civics.

And here is Titus, putting red magnets on his eyes.

Edan is sweating, but doing great!

A Cut Above the Rest

July 10, 2012 By 5 Comments

I don’t want to be biased without proof, so check out these statistics that show how homeschoolers are doing better than other students in the area of academics. You decide…

Source: Homeschool Domination by College at Home

(This link was sent to me by Grace Flores Osio via Facebook)

 

Rest While Homeschooling

July 8, 2012 By 8 Comments

Yesterday, I shared with my dad a story about homeschooling one of my sons, and he asked me to share it during his message today to illustrate what it means to rest in Gods presence, from a parent’s perspective.

As a homeschooling mom of four children, my patience gets tried pretty often. My kids are between the ages of 2 and 9 and God gave me a mix of different personalities to train my character. One of the challenges of teaching my own kids is remaining spirit-filled when they are unmotivated about studying. Perhaps all parents can relate when I say that there are many occasions when I am tempted to give in to irritation and frustration by reacting negatively and harshly. But, by God’s grace, when I practice the presence of God, he gives me victory in this area. He gives me his rest to replace my distress.

For example, some time ago, I assigned one of my sons an activity. He had to write and draw about the life cycle of a fern for science. Mid-way through his assignment, he dropped his pencil in a dramatic manner, slumped back into the chair and said, “I can’t do this! I don’t want to write anymore.” I struggled to respond positively to him because he had this reoccurring issue with writing. He would become negative and demotivated when I assigned him writing tasks.

But God reminded me, “let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

I prayed, “What is the right response, Lord?” because I felt the heat rising to my neck and head, and I wanted to lecture him on the importance of writing and perseverance. But instead of doing so, I asked him, “Is there any way I can improve as your teacher to help you develop a love for writing?” He said, “I don’t know” and he started going on and on about how he just did not like to write. According to him, he wasn’t a good writer. So I tried to say very calmly, “Why don’t we pray together, why don’t you pray about it?”

“I don’t know what to pray! You pray, mom!” and he sounded agitated and discouraged. Wow, this was a serious issue for him! This was my one thought and the other thought I had was “This is ridiculous! Get over your dramatics, snap out of it and just finish your work!” But again, the Lord reminded me, be an encourager, be positive. So I didn’t say those things.

Instead, I prayed with him, “Lord, please help my son to develop a love for writing, to understand that it is important to learn this skill, and to change his attitude.” Afterwards, I asked him again, “Are you ready now?”

“No I still don’t want to write.” And he slumped further back into his chair and started to tear. I felt my anger start to rise again because in my mind, I was trying every spirit-filled tactic, but it was not working. I was at the tipping point.

Yet once again God spoke to me and gave me another idea. “Your son belongs to me, remember? So turn him over and let me deal with him. Don’t make this writing assignment more important than your relationship with him. Let him speak to me about it.”

That was a great idea! I told my son, “I am not going to force you to write right now. But I want you to go to your room and spend time alone with God. I know that Jesus is in your heart and he will tell you how you should change your attitude and what you should do about this writing assignment.” My son looked at me and he was kind of shocked, but I insisted that he go and have alone time with God to pray.

In five minutes, my son came back to me and said, “I am ready, mom.” “For what?” I prodded and he responded, “To write.” Really? Why? “God spoke to me and told me to.” By then, his tone and his posture had changed. He went back to his desk and finished his work and even did so while singing, too! God had changed his attitude completely.

Years ago my husband and I shared the gospel with this son of ours and he made Jesus his Lord and Savior. And so this experience was not just about experiencing rest in Gods presence as a parent, but about teaching my son to do the same. I learned that the responses we have towards our children must be redemptive in nature, restoring them to the Lord, causing them to draw closer to him instead of pushing them away because of our temper, anger, irritation, or ungodliness. I still struggle with patience as a homeschool mom but God is my source of strength, joy, grace, and peace when I teach my kids. He is my rest! All glory goes to him!

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NASB)

If you are interested in viewing the message during today’s service here it is…

Rest In God’s Presence — Message by Peter Tan-Chi

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