One of my big struggles as a mom is patience…patience while homeschooling, especially while homeschooling my girls. Today I was tempted to get annoyed again when one of them couldn’t understand a concept that she had learned many times.
“What is 10 divided by 10?” I asked.
“30? No, 20? Hmm…5?” She replied. Obviously guessing.
When I give her manipulatives to work with she does much better so that’s how I have adjusted my instruction. However, the struggle is so real for me. I want to shout or throw something in exasperation at times. It’s only by God’s grace that I don’t do either. Yet I feel the rising anger inside and it takes the Holy Spirit’s power to suppress it and respond with grace instead.
When people ask what does it mean to be filled by the Holy Spirit, and is it a one time thing? The answer is it’s a day by day, moment by moment surrender of the will and self to the Lord.
“So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions…Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.” Galatians 5:16-17, 24-25
It’s saying, “Please take over because I am going to mess this up. I am desperately dependent on you to do what is right.”
By God’s grace my daughter told me recently, “Your tone has improved a lot and you are more patient.”
Whew. Praise God! Homeschooling is also an education for me, a character education!
Let’s not get discouraged when we find ourselves in predicaments where the ugly is about to come out of us. To the degree that we are weak, we are strong in the Lord. Our inabilities and incapacities give us the opportunity to experience that we can bless when we feel like cursing, press on when we are tired, and be patient, accommodating, and gentle when we want to express anger.
Never believe the lie that you and I can’t change. We can change when we yield to the power of Christ in us.
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)