“Mom…don’t fight. You tell us not to fight, right? You and daddy shouldn’t fight.” Titus Mendoza.
We weren’t really fighting, but we were engaged in a debate over Halloween. Should the kids go around and get candy or should we ignore this festivity all together?
For the first time, Edric was open to the idea of our children participating in our village’s Halloween activities. Every house that is decorated signifies that they give out candy. We didn’t decorate because our family has never celebrated Halloween. So I assumed that Edric and I were on the same page. However, he had a recent encounter with someone who said, “So you don’t do Halloween because you are Christians, right?” It got him thinking about the real reasons why our family doesn’t get dressed up and traipse from door to door like most families do on this day.
Over breakfast, Edric invited the children to join our discussion and share their thoughts. The intention was good but the process was a little bit tense. Sure, we were having a “discussion,” but I must admit that it was fueled by irritation on my part. What had tripped the wires in my husband’s brain so that we suddenly didn’t see eye to eye?
He asked the kids, “Do you want to go around and get candy from the neighbors?” I didn’t think the question was worded accurately. So I interjected with my own version. “Kids, do you want to go begging for candy in silly outfits on a day that was born out of demonic origins?” (Kids representing 6 and below didn’t understand what I was talking about.)
“Okay, if that’s your perspective then why celebrate Christmas either?” Edric’s counter-statement was “it’s also pagan in origin.”
I didn’t have a credible defense. Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year and I didn’t want to give that up. Plus, in my mind, celebrating Christ’s birth (even if it isn’t the exact date) seemed vastly different than joining in on a day that patronizes ghouls, ghosts, gore, and ghastly things. It wasn’t a sound argument by any measure, but I was getting increasingly annoyed so I added that into the discussion.
This began to look and sound like a fight to our kids. Titus even added, “You should be kind to your husband.” Edric got all excited when Titus said this and thought he had an ally. Then he discovered that “wife” was what Titus meant by “husband.”
“Who is the husband?” Edric asked. Titus chimed in, “Mommy!” The other kids cracked up and suggested that be kind to your wife was what he wanted to say.
I need to add that Titus had the sweetest way of correcting us. When he made the first comment about “not fighting,” there was a melody to his tone of voice and a big smile on his face. It was the same with his appeal for us to be kind to one another. Who could resist him? It certainly made Edric and I more conscious of our passionate dialoguing. So Edric said, “Mommy and I will continue this later,” assuring the children that we would resolve it in private.
While it isn’t morally wrong to collect candy on Halloween, we finally decided that it wasn’t of eternal benefit to our children or to us to perpetuate the celebration of a day that represented what is dark, evil, and ugly. Just look at the décor. Is it uplifting and edifying?
The other day I was at the toy store and they were selling decapitated heads, bloody arms and bodies, and hideous looking masks and faces. My daughter’s reaction, which was to run away, is exactly what I’m trying to emphasize. There’s something macabre about this day.
If a family wants to get dressed up in more wholesome outfits instead of witches and dead people…if they want to decorate their homes’ facades with cute pumpkins, that’s their call. Edric’s mom dressed him up like a carrot when he was little. I would have loved to see that! My friends came up with a good alternative. They planned a candy night at one of their houses so a bunch of families can still do the costumes and get their candy. We would have joined them except that we had other plans.
Fortunately, my kids don’t care too much about costumes or candy. They don’t feel like they are missing out on some glorious part of their childhood by not participating in Halloween. Since they don’t go to school, they aren’t aware of how big a deal it is either.
Here’s what they did today…
I don’t want to go around making a doctrinal issue out of Halloween and judging families who allow their children to dress up, play make-believe, and fill their pumpkins with candy. I know a lot of people who enjoy the costume aspect of Halloween and they don’t cast spells or drink blood. Some are friends, others are family. Like my dad used to say, “There are things worth debating and there are things worth dying for.” I won’t die for the Halloween issue. I will die for the gospel.
However, I do think that we should all evaluate why we participate in certain festivities. It wasn’t until we started having kids that Edric and I began to rethink why we do what we do. What sort of values and precedents are we inculcating in our children? Just because an occasion is cultural and fun doesn’t mean our family has to give hearty approval to it. We can choose to celebrate the activities that are meaningful and profitable to us.
At the same time, we don’t want to raise little legalists. We don’t want our children to have this “holier than thou” image of themselves that turns people off to Christ. So we processed the conclusion with them. The kids were like, “Great! We didn’t want to get candy anyway!” (I also apologized for my tone of voice and irritation towards Edric. Titus ran up to me and gave me a big hug.) Edric explained that this was a family decision and not a doctrine stated in the Bible. The Bible doesn’t say, “Don’t dress up in costumes and collect candy from nice neighbors on Halloween.”
However, for those who won’t be popping in those vampire fangs for their costume tonight, here’s something you might like to chew on…
For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. (Ephesians 5:8-17 NLT)
Here is a well-written piece from John MacArthur’s ministry that is worth reading. I like the idea of using this popular holiday to give out gospel tracks!: Christians and Halloween
10 thoughts on “Halloween Hullabaloo”
Thanks for sharing Joy. Halloween does not glorify the name of our Lord Jesus so it is not worth being part of it.
We never did this because I didn’t want my kids to eat candies. Now we have an even more reason not to participate. Thanks for this blog. But I do make them dress in hero costumes while we go around the mall.
I appreciate what you have to say and putting a scripture to back it up. Both my husband’s family and mine never celebrated Halloween for the same reasons you have outlined. If we are called children of The Light, we should seek to worship God on His terms: in spirit and in Truth.
Thanks,Joy for sharing this blog. It shows that your family really enjoyed this day. 🙂 God bless
May I know the name of the water slide that your family has and where to buy them? It looks so much better doing that indeed!
It was a gift Roxanne 🙂
doing Halloween, I mean…
Wow, we’re moving around in the wrong circles! When i brought up the idea of not celebrating bec Halloween stood for nothing I liked (thanks to a Christian fb friend who posted a few years back an article which made me realize it isn’t a good day to celebrate), NO ONE saw my point of view. I don’t even let my kids eat candies (the kids get to keep maybe 1? it’s harder now that they’re bigger, in the past they got to keep none at all and we gave all to the maids straight.) We never even really had proper costumes. For some reason, this year, when I had earlier decided NOT TO celebrate, is when people decided to give us soo many nice costumes which lead to us celebrating it. I remember a few years back trying to buy some decor for the house and I came home with nothing because skulls, scary gorillas, bloodied faces just didn’t feel right. I think it’s a commercialized event. I find it sad though that Halloween has now become a bigger celebration than Christmas ever was. Halloween comes with magicians, full scale programs, loot bags etc. Christmas is very downkey. I think next year, I will stand by my conviction to better glorify God. I just hope the rest of my family will agree with me.
I just read this. I respect every family’s view on this. For us, we dress up and go around for candy for the same reason we have a tree and celebrate Christmas:) It’s fun and we don’t overthink the origin like Christmas is rooted in pagan practices:) I find it funny how people dress up and have candy night because technically they are doing exactly the same thing except they just don’t go around houses . I think your way is better by choosing to not do it at all rather than doing something exactly the same and just calling it something else 🙂 anyway, that’s just my opinion on ” trick or treat” . Thanks for sharing , it’s great to know that even if we sisters in Christ may differ opinions on trivial matters , what’s important is we share the same opinion on the bigger issues:)
Thanks for your perspective Haps:)