Archives for June 2017

Life’s Divine Interruptions

Our family was on its way to a speaking engagement when the door of our van jammed open (not shut). The kids and I dropped by Edric’s office to pick him up and when he opened the sliding door of our van, it wouldn’t budge back into place. Ordinarily, we could have waited for the driver to bring the van to the nearest dealer to have it serviced and hung out in Edric’s office. However, we had forty minutes to get to the venue of our speaking engagement so the best recourse was to get an Uber ride. 

By God’s grace, Edric remained calm and composed although I knew he was stressed by the untimeliness of the problem. He asked the kids and I to stay in a cafe while he sorted out what to do next. In about ten minutes he made arrangements to have the van brought to the dealer and coordinated for our uber vehicle. Our ride came shortly after and the kids and I piled into the back seats. (It was actually my first time to take Uber and I was amazed at how convenient it was!)

On the way to our event, Edric and I began chatting with the driver, who was a very nice gentleman. He opened up about his history and family, and told us that he nearly lost his life in a motor cycle accident. Edric and I both felt prodded to share the gospel with him. As we proceeded to do so, telling him that there are no coincidences in life and that God wanted him to know that he is loved and there’s a plan and purpose for his life, Edric segued to the importance of trusting in Christ alone for our salvation. 

The driver listened and interacted with us, answering our questions honestly and responding positively to the gospel message. By the end of the thirty minute ride, Edric prayed with him and he willingly accepted Christ to be his Lord and Savior. 

This occasion was a reminder that God interrupts our plans in order to fulfill His. At first, I was anxious about how we would honor our commitment to speak and get our family to the venue on time. Plus, I felt frustrated that the van surfaced such a ridiculous issue when we were in a hurry. (It turned it to be a fluke, too, after it was inspected at the dealer.) 

Our agendas, no matter how important we may think them to be, do not take precedence over the Lord’s agendas. And one of His desires is that the lost be found and that people are reconciled to Himself. “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:20‬ ‭

It was actually a privilege to sit in that Uber vehicle with that driver and tell him about God’s grace and love, but Edric and I had to be mindful of the fact that God allowed the inconvenient circumstance of our van door jamming so we could spend time with this man. 

More and more I am learning that it is our spiritual perspective and response to problems and issues that determines whether or not God will get the glory in our lives, and whether or not we will enjoy the honor of participating in His work. He certainly doesn’t need us to make a difference, but He allows us to, and it is tragic that we can overlook the opportunities He sends our way because we focus on the frustration over disappointments we face instead of perceiving them as life’s divine interruptions. Maybe the interruption is an invitation to tell another person about the Lord, to be a blessing, to be grateful, or to give God glory. Whatever the divine purpose God has elected the interruption for, may we receive His grace, wisdom, and courage to respond the way He wants us to! 

“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.” (Psalms‬ ‭25:4‬)

 

The “Love Letter”

Some women have asked me if it is too big a risk to rely solely on a husband’s income (given that he could tragically pass away and leave his family with nothing.) However, with advance planning and preparedness, this concern can be addressed. Here’s where the idea of a “love letter” comes in. It’s basically a letter written by the primary income-earner in the family that explains what to do in the event of his passing. Although this could be called a “will,” it is something more. 


My husband, Edric, got this idea while interviewing certain guests for the show, On the Money, on ANC. He secured certain investments in order to safeguard the kids and me should anything happen to him. The funds would be enough to cover our needs (and more) if he were to be taken by the Lord before me.

When I first heard him explain this during a finance talk he gave, I teared thinking about it. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like without Edric (I still can’t) and the reality of these investments were almost more troubling than reassuring because they implied a life without him. Yet, I am also grateful that he gave considerable thought to this. 

Although it’s common in Philippine culture to look to relatives when financial needs arise, and it’s a beautiful trait to be so caring for one another, I also feel that there is something very unhealthy about the burden we place on family members (whether it be on grown children, parents, or siblings) to give of their hard-earned money when they also have needs of their own. One of the things I appreciate about Edric’s side of the family, especially his father’s, is that they were raised to fend for themselves. There was no pressure or expectation that monetary support would come from anywhere else but from what each person had the capacity to earn, build, or acquire. By God’s grace, they remain close and have great relationships with one another, and money hasn’t come between them. 

Thankfully, Edric grew up with a father who instilled the value of “providing for one’s own” in him, too. Therefore Edric assumed that it was his responsibility to protect the kids and me from future financial stress or from being in a position that would burden others to provide for us if his life were cut short. The truth is neither of us know when we will go and as much as I would like to think that Edric and I will live forever, or expire together at the same time with all our kids, or be raptured as a family, these are romantic fantasies that may not happen. Hence, Edric has a love letter written for me that affirms his love for the kids and me, revisits the values which define our family (I asked him to add this part, ha ha ha), and very practically includes the persons whom I need to get in touch with to access such and such accounts and insurances, etc. (Truthfully, I do not know the exact details of the letter to this day and I don’t want to until it needs to be opened.)

It pains me to envision his parting words but knowing the letter exists has somehow magnified my appreciation for his leadership, initiative, and wisdom, as well as allayed my fears about how the kids and I will survive. Even if I bring in some income, my primary job is home educating my kids, and whatever I contribute from projects is not commensurate to what Edric currently makes. If he were to be incapacitated or pass away I would be in financial trouble as a mom of five kids! 

Ultimately, my security (as well as his) is in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is our provider and sustainer. It’s only because of His enabling and blessing that we are presently okay financially and physically able to generate income. Yet, we are called to stewardship of our resources and to plan with the future in mind as Proverbs 6:6-8 says. “Go to the ant, o sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest.” 

God has entrusted each one of us (all persons) with the capacity to work hard to provide for our families. Although financial status may vary, we all have God-given talents and abilities that we can utilize. Furthermore, Proverbs 12:11 wisely explains, “Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.”

1 Timothy 5:8 puts it very seriously, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

I talked to a taxi driver the other day and he may not have had the same opportunities available to him that Edric and I did growing up but he embraced the same perspective about being responsible for one’s own family. He was doing his best to think about the future needs of his children, especially because he got into an accident where he almost lost his life. 

Every sensible person understands that future health and well-being are not guaranteed. We might not all make decisions accordingly but wealth isn’t forever and unprecedented circumstances such as losses come upon all of us. Therefore we need to do what is within our control. This is the intent behind the “love letter” principle — an act of foresight that anticipates the brevity of life, reaffirms the love for family and the values shared by family, and safeguards the financial well-being of one’s spouse and kids. 

Obedience and Discipline

As our children move up in their ages, training them in obedience doesn’t stop. Disciplining for disobedience, however, may evolve into different forms.

When our kids are young, we employ spanking with a paddle or flat rod that doesn’t break the skin. It stings enough to make an impression about the importance of obedience. However, it doesn’t bruise them or injure them like a physical beating done in anger would. In fact, it’s never to be done in anger.

For those who aren’t familiar with the past articles I have written on spanking, allow me to re-emphasize the following: 

– We don’t spank in anger. 

– It’s done in private for disobedience of a rule or instruction that has been communicated clearly. 

– One or two efficient swats across the rear end (where it’s most padded in their body) is enough to inflict calculated pain. 

– We explain to our child(ren) why they are getting a spanking, that learning obedience is necessary to protect them from future pain. 

– We allow them to acknowledge how they disobeyed us and ask for forgiveness. 

– A hug and I love you follow after the ordeal.

We can count the number of times we have had to spank each of our kids. Spanking’s intent in our home has not been punitive or to shame our kids. As much as possible, we’ve also avoided using it as a threat to manipulate them into obeying us. (I must confess that I’ve made my foibles with Catalina in particular.) Yet generally, spanking was and is used to connect disobedience with consequences. The kids learned and continue to learn to respect and honor authority. We don’t spank excessively or for an indefinite period of time, either. By the age of six or seven, the approach to discipline evolves. 

Three of our five kids are past the age of seven, so spanking isn’t as effective anymore and they have graduated to different forms of discipline. With the older boys, we employ natural logical consequences and withdrawal of privileges.

For example, recently, the boys had to pay for the repair of their gadgets. They hadn’t stewarded these properly, something that Edric and I instructed them to do. As a result, screens needed to be repaired. Having understood that they failed to take good care of gadgets that had been entrusted them, they owned up to their mistake and apologized. However, a consequence followed. They used money they worked hard to earn and gift money to pay for their mistake. It was a painful lesson but a memorable one. 

Yet another example was when they didn’t complete certain assignments I asked them to while I was away in Kenya. They were tasked to finished reading their history material. Well, they only read a few pages. So what happened when I got back from Kenya? Their time on gadgets was suspended until they finished their history work. They knew this was a fair consequence. I had to withdraw privileges for disregarding my instruction. Since gadget time to play educational games or do coding mattered to them, this consequence “stung.”

For the most part, I praise God that my kids are obedient. They want to honor Edric and me, and they try their best to obey us. So these moments of having to withdraw privileges or allow them to experience natural, logical consequences are infrequent. But they still happen. 

When I get tired of correcting or training my kids in the area of obedience, or when I get intimidated by my strong-willed children like Catalina, I have to tell myself, Obedience is for their good. If I love them I will NOT stop teaching them to obey. Edric is committed to the same thing.

Why is obedience so beneficial? 

1. PROTECTION from self-inflicted pain. Many people reap the consequences of wrong choices, choices that go against the God-ordained authorities in their lives, and against God’s plan for them. As a result they end up spiritually, emotionally, and physically broken. 

Proverbs 30:17 affirms this. “The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.”

Deuteronomy 28:15 warns, “But it shall come about, if you do not obey the LORD your God, to observe to do all His commandments and His statutes with which I charge you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you.” 

When I was sixteen I dated a guy without the approval of my parents. I was stubborn and failed to honor them. Although they didn’t outrightly tell me to stop dating the guy, I knew that they thought I was too young. However I persisted in the relationship. In the end I was so crushed and broken-hearted. I felt used, manipulated, and disrespected by the guy on many levels. The relationship turned out to be an awful one. I wasted two precious years of high school.

Looking back I wish I never dated the guy but hindsight didn’t spare me from the consequences of my wrong choice. Had I prioritized honoring my parents, my high school years would have been so much more productive and fruitful.

2. The PROMISE of well-being. 

God rewards obedience. “Now it shall be, if you diligently obey the LORD your God, being careful to do all His commandments which I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you obey the LORD your God…” (Deuteronomy‬ ‭28:1-2)

Ephesians 6:3 says, “it may go well with you and that you enjoy long life on the earth,” but it’s premised by obedience and honoring of parents in verses 1 and 2. We can take the phrases “go well with you” and “enjoy long life on the earth” literally.  

Logically, when we refrain from going against God’s design and principles, we avoid many of the problems that cut a person’s life short. Take for instance a very simple example. I tell my kids not to eat a lot of sugar, explaining to them that it’s really bad for their bodies in excessive amounts. If they refuse to listen, they will get a slew of sicknesses associated with a bad diet. In the long run, they will compromise their health.

On a more serious level, my siblings and I trusted in our parents’ approval when it came to choosing our spouses. We wanted their blessing in this area. There’s no doubt that going against their wishes would have led to undue stress in our relationships with our spouses and issues that we may not have foreseen. 

Having counseled many couples and singles in the area of marriage and relationships, I see how God has given parents certain instincts and insights when it comes to helping their children select a life partner. Even when a parent or parents can seem unreasonable, for as long as they aren’t asking their child to do something against God’s Word, most children are better off respecting their parents’ wishes about the person they should marry. 

Some people obey God but they don’t live long on the earth, yet I still believe they lived the exact amount of time that God wanted them to in order to accomplish His purposes. In this sense, they lived full lives. My sister-in-law’s brother died a day before turning thirty. He was on-fire for Christ, but God took him sooner than later. Here is where I won’t pretend to understand the greater purposes of God. However, I do know that for Steve (my sister-in-law’s brother), he lost nothing by dying young. In fact, he is surely rejoicing in the presence of the Lord. His legacy in the hearts and minds of people lives on today which tells me that the life of a godly person doesn’t end on earth at the point of his or her death. Instead it continues to make a positive impact on others. 

3. PURPOSE and discernment of God’s Will. “My son, observe the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light…” (Proverbs 6:20 – 23)

Many people have asked me, “How do I know what God’s will is?”

The simple answer to this question is to obey in the areas that are obvious then God will reveal the rest. Corrie Ten Boom said, “When we are obedient, God guides our steps and our stops.” One of our life purposes’ is to live in daily submission to the Lord. What are some practical areas where we can submit to Him? Purity. Holiness. Forgiving those who have hurt us. Loving people. Honoring Him with our choices.

These are obvious areas where we don’t have to ask, “Is this God’s will for me?” Substitute any of the above into the question and the answer is, “Yes, it’s God’s will for me to be pure, to be holy, to forgive, to love, to honor Him.”

Are we obeying Him in these areas? If we aren’t then how can we expect Him to show us what comes next? Daily attentiveness and listening to the Lord’s voice is a prerequisite to hearing Him clearly when we have to make the bigger decisions – what job to take, whom to marry, where to live, whom to partner with in business or what business venture to get into, etc. How can we discern God’s voice when it really counts if we’ve deafened ourselves to Him in the day to day? 
“The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him, and He will make them know His covenant.” (Psalm 25:14)

4. The POWER of God and the PRIVILEGE OF PARTICIPATION in building His Kingdom. When Joshua was leading the Israelites across the Jordan River to enter the promised land, the priests had to step into the water first like God asked them to before it dried up for them. Then, they could walk across safely. The miracle didn’t happen before the obedience.

When Edric and I have conflicts and we are about to minister to people whether it’s via public speaking or counseling, we have to resolve our issues first and ask for forgiveness from one another, otherwise there’s no empowering of the Holy Spirit in us to connect with the hearts of people or to effectively deliver the Word of God. We may not feel like doing so, but the Bible tells us to ask for forgiveness and to forgive, and to refrain from doing so would be a violation of God’s Word.

Just this morning, Edric and I got irritated at each other for being late to a meeting. It was my fault for leaving my phone but I felt that his reaction wasn’t fair. So I accused him of failing to be on the ball himself and not deciding on a specific time for us to leave the house. Well, this conversation snowballed and I rolled my eyes at one point and called him a “jerk” under my breath when he couldn’t hear me. I know. It was bad. I was so wrong. I let my irritation control my tongue. 

Since we were on our way to a ministry meeting, we had to resolve it. We knew we couldn’t stand before the Lord or others with authenticity or with spiritual authority. So we both apologized and asked for each other’s forgiveness. It wasn’t easy but it was necessary. We knew there would be no power in our lives if we remained in sin, persisting in disobedience towards God in the form of anger and unforgiveness. 

5. The PEACE of knowing we true followers of Christ. 

Many times, Edan, our second child who always like to be sure about everything (a sigurista in Tagalog), asks me, “Mom do you think I love God?” 

My reply is almost always, “Edan, I know you love God because you desire to obey us, you desire to obey Him. There is evidence in your life that you have Christ in your life.” 

When we obey God from the heart, we can confidently say that we are true followers of His, that we love Him. John 14:21 tells us, “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.” Obedience is the evidence of real relationship with God and love for God. 

Since obedience is of infinite importance, let us keep OVER-emphasizing obedience in our homes. In fact, in ours, we get everyone to memorize the mantra, “Obedience brings blessings!” Even little Catalina will shout this out if prodded to. The benefits of obedience are beyond material things — beyond monetary gains, fame, or worldly accomplishments. These things are wonderful, but what counts more is that our kids avoid the painful consequences of sin, that they experience a long, fruitful life that is directed by God for His purposes and empowered by Him, and that we have the peace of knowing they belong to Him. And might I just add, obedient kids are such a delight! They are a blessing to their parents and to those around them.

Courage

We had the opportunity to go to Bukidnon yesterday where we enjoyed family tiem at Dahilayan Adventure Park. World-class ziplines, ropes courses, a luge ride, a drop zone and a base jump make up for an incredible fun place to take the family.  

Since not many people were keen on traveling to the Mindanao region, the park wasn’t crowded. In fact, it was the best time to go! And, it felt very safe to be in Bukidnon and Cagayan de Oro City, where we also stayed. (The military was extremely cautious and the peace and order was commendable.)

At the park, Edric challenged the boys to do some pretty difficult activities, one of which was the Base Jump. This meant they would leap from a high tower like a paratrooper (without the parachute) until the resistance from the harness kicked in. Elijah, who tends to be the adventurous one was incredibly excited. Titus, our laid back and easy going fellow, felt slightly terrified but jumped right off the platform easily. Edan, on the other hand, who is very calculated and risk-averse, actually got teary eyed when it was his turn. He was scared out of his mind. 

Some days prior, Edric encouraged our family to memorize Philippians 4:7 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” The Base Jump proved to be the best application of courage for Edan who was very tempted to escape from the challenge. With the encouragement of Edric and his brothers, as well as onlookers, he inched towards the end of the platform and leaped off, tears and all! 

It was a man-building moment for him. Afterwards, Edric affirmed all the boys, especially Edan, and processed the definition of courage with them. “Courage is not the absence of fear, it is embracing the fear and overcoming it.” 

As for me, I had my own moment of terror when Edric asked me to do the Drop Zone, which involved being cradled in a swing that launched from a 120 foot point. I hate heights! But Edric convinced and suckered me to tandem-ride with him. 

I got through the ordeal without peeing in my pants so I am grateful. The first part, as usual, was the worst of it…when I felt like I was plunging to certain death. 

It looked crazy high from on top, at the launching point…Edric had to pull the chord to release us. I couldn’t have done it. 


This was the happier part…


It takes a father and husband like Edric to get our family to do these things. Even if personalities like Edan and myself would prefer to avoid vomit-inducing rides and experiences, Edric is able to pep talk us into doing them anyway. I must say that I appreciate his pushiness afterwards but when I’m in the moment I’m resistant and difficult and I say things like, “I can’t believe you are making me do this!”

Since I have three boys I can’t act like a sissy. I’ve got to keep my cool when faced with challenges so they aren’t infected by my fear. And since courage is a trait Edric is trying to instill in our kids, especially our boys, I need to help him model this for them. 

There were a bunch of other activities to enjoy in Dahilayan Adventure Park and the prices were very affordable (even for a big family). Our younger kids got to ride on the shorter ziplines and everyone had a blast! We could have spent the entire day there but we had to head back to Cagayan de Oro City to conduct a seminar.


I want to thank CCF CDO and our friends, Mel and Melanie Santos, who introduced us to this place! It was a great discovery, something the kids hope we can come back to in the future! 

Our family’s experience at Dahilayan Adventure Park made me reflect on courage. In fact, just a week prior, I finished a short book by Bill Hybels, one of his older ones, called Who You Are When No One’s Looking. He listed courage as one of the endangered traits of humanity.  

We all need to grow in courage. I certainly do. Thankfully, there are many opportunities to practice courage that count way more than getting on a thrill-seeking ride. Hybels explains, “Courage is foundational to being a Christian. It takes courage to begin a walk with Christ, to reach your hand and trust him. It takes courage to lead a life of obedience to Christ. It takes courage to be moral and to build significant relationships with your spouse, your children, and with your friends. It takes courage to expand a business, change your major or start a new career. It takes courage to leave home or to go back home.”

He also outlined five kinds of courage:

Courage in the ordinary – “It takes a great deal of courage to face life’s ordinary, everyday challenges. We choose between the right thing and the convenient thing, sticking to a conviction or caving in for the sake of comfort, greed or approval.”

Courage to be vulnerable – “The Bible says that, to become a Christian, you have to own up to your sins before a holy God…If you are too chicken to repent, then please don’t ever say Christianity is for weak people.”

Courage to follow – 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, We walk by faith, not by sight. “Cowards don’t last long in their spiritual pilgrimages…It takes enormous courage to follow God’s leading in the Christian life.”

Relational courage – Many married people do not have the courage to “fight for their marriages.” Many parents don’t have the courage to “discipline their children.” Many people can’t summon the courage to “build significant relationships with people.”

Courage to be moral – “How much courage is required to stay sexually pure in a sex-crazed culture?” A lot! 

Why can we be courageous even in the face of uncertainty, doubt, pressure, and fear? Well, let me end with the apostle Paul’s charge to us, “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” (‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬) 

The Benefits of a Food Journal

When my stomach manifested strange symptoms like gassy pain, discomfort, bloating, burping, and loss of appetite after gorging on bread rolls with butter at a retreat, my doctor sister who is into functional medicine, encouraged me to keep a food journal. It was one of the best tips to “heal” my gutt. 

Photographing everything I ate for about a week made me intentional and conscious about my intake. Except for a few exemptions, I stuck to relatively healthy meals and I felt significant improvement in my overall well-being afterwards. Plus, there was the added bonus of a flatter tummy! Here’s what my week-long intake looked like…

Day 1:

Breakfast – mixed Berry Shake 

Lunch – corn, coconut water 

Snack – half a subway sandwich (tuna), four sampaloc

Dinner – Vietnamese salad, pho soup, fresh spring rolls


Day 2:

Breakfast


Lunch –


An organic gummy (just one!) 


Dinner –



Day 3:

Breakfast –


Lunch – 

Dinner – 


Day 4:

Breakfast –

Lunch –  (I only ate one!) 


Dinner – 

Day 5 – 

Breakfast 


Lunch – this was a cheat one! 

Dinner 
Day 6:

Breakfast 


Dinner – 

Day 7 onwards…(I tried to maintain healthy eating habits by avoiding sugar, rice, and wheat as much as possible, and going for more natural foods, fruits and vegetables. 


I don’t believe in dieting because I need and love to eat. But I do think that the stomach can be trained to prefer better food! 

“But I discipline my body and make it my slave…” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭9:27‬ ‭

Be “Into” Your Husband 

For the longest time I took it for granted that Edric and I had healthy intimacy. I always felt like we were an affectionate, PDA sort of couple that had no issues when it came to sweetness and lovey-dovey-ness. I mean, at times, we were probably annoyingly affectionate with one another, irritating people who saw us out in public. So it never really occurred to me to put in extra effort to cultivate intimacy. The chemistry between us was always so natural. 

However, in recent years, the number of children, fatigue, and busy-ness have taken its toll on me physically, and Edric has, more than once, remarked about my seeming disinterest in being intimate with him. My excuses often revolved around timing. Why did it have to happen at the last hour of the evening when I was dead tired? I am not just talking about sex, but even kissing and hugging, and holding one another before falling asleep. Many times he felt like I was just not that into him.

My dismissiveness would make him feel hurt and rejected. For a while, I thought I was in the right, that he was the selfish and inconsiderate one for pursuing invitations when I was exhausted. Yet God convicted me through this latest trip we took together in Kenya. After observing the tender exchanges between a forty-two year married couple…aka my parents, I realized I have a lot to improve on.

Edric and I had hours of bonding time together with my mom and dad during our vacation league of the trip (the first part was more ministry). During the safari, my parents occupied the row of seats in front of Edric and me, so we both noticed how sweetly they interacted with one another. Dad would frequently smile tenderly at my mom and hold her hand. Mom often said, “I find you so handsome (to my dad), and I really enjoy being with you.”

I know these moments weren’t to put on a show for us. They simply enjoyed being together. After forty years, they are still so into each other.

Although my parents were always loving, it’s been pretty special for me to see them still tender (if not more so) in this season of their lives. Even if they are senior citizens, they act like a young couple in love. They still put effort into cultivating intimacy with one another.

Whether it was appreciating each other verbally, deliberately seeking to meet each other’s emotional needs, sharing jokes, or exhibiting patience and restraint during conflicts, they both showed me how to be a better spouse during this trip. While Edric and I have a great marriage by God’s grace, I know I can still up my effort levels in the areas of tenderness and responsiveness, especially after seeing the dynamic between my parents.

Very often I encourage wives to consider that we are the only, legitimate, godly option for intimacy, for our husbands. Yet if I were to honestly assess myself, my past six months’ performance has been wanting. I haven’t tried my best to meet Edric’s need for intimacy. I would give myself a mediocre score in this area because I haven’t been as into him as I ought to be. My mom and dad were great examples of what it means to delight in each other as husband and wife.

Sometimes I forget to appreciate how special Edric is, and how blessed I am to have a husband who loves God, loves me and our kids, and who wants to be a good husband and father. I need to be more like the woman in Song of Solomon and be a more passionately in love wife! “Come, my love, let us go out to the fields and spend the night among the wildflowers. Let us get up early and go to the vineyards to see if the grapevines have budded, if the blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love.” ‭‭Song of Songs‬ ‭7:11-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬