My husband, Edric, and I invite our children to correct us and tell us how to improve. We don’t always recognize character areas where we are weak so it helps to have our children identify these areas. They watch our examples closely and they have tender consciences, too. So we benefit from their input. It isn’t always easy to receive their correction but when we do they appreciate our humility, and it teaches them to do the same.
Two days ago, Edric and I hosted a yayas and drivers party in our home. We were running late for it because we came from another engagement. Strangely, when we entered our village, the guard stopped us. He didn’t let us through because he failed to see our sticker. Edric rolled down his window, annoyed, and said, “We have a sticker!” (Translated from Tagalog.)
His tone conveyed irritation and he pointed his finger at the sticker like, yo dude, do you know who I am?! Of course he didn’t say that, but the kids latched on to his tone. The guard embarrassingly lifted the barricade.
The car atmosphere turned quiet for a bit and then our two oldest sons, Elijah blurted out, “Dad, you sounded entitled when you said that,” followed by Edan, “Yah, it wasn’t very nice.”
I could see the tension in Edric’s face. On the one hand, he wanted to acknowledge what the kids were saying but on the other hand, he didn’t appreciate the inconvenience the guard caused him when he was rushing to our place. But I praise God that he let the Holy Spirit convict his heart and he replied, “Oh really? It really sounded like that? I am sorry, kids.” The kids forgave him and we proceeded home.
Unbeknownst to them, Edric returned to the guard later on and apologized to him. He also brought him peanuts to make up for his haughtiness. I didn’t find out till the evening when he told me, while the kids found out the next day.
He explained how he drove to the guard house to ask for forgiveness and how the guard politely accepted his apology and gladly took the peanuts! The kids’ eyes lit up with relief. It mattered to them that he humbled himself. In Elijah’s words, “I knew dad was wrong so when I found out he said sorry to the guard I felt better. It was the right thing to do.”
Edric and I have our failings and our kids are well aware of our imperfections. But I praise God for softening Edric’s heart so he could show the kids and me an example of love and humility.
Our children hunger to see an authentic faith. They are allergic to hypocrisy. Although they don’t expect us to be without fault, they do hope that what we do is consistent with the things we teach them. So if Edric and I talk about loving God, we need to demonstrate this with our actions. If we fail to, we need to right our wrongs as best as we can so we don’t harden our children’s hearts towards following Christ.
A lot of times it is the manner in which we treat people who serve us, such as waiters, salespersons, janitors, guards, drivers, yayas and the like that tell our children what being a follower of Jesus is all about. Do we respect them? Do we regard them with dignity? Do we show them love? Or, do we act entitled, demanding, unappreciative, and basically like the world revolves around us?
Let’s model to our children what it means to love people the way God does. There are no degrees of importance to him when it comes to people. The same should be true for us so it can be true for our children.
“For though the LORD is exalted, Yet He regards the lowly, But the haughty He knows from afar.” Psalms 138:6
8 thoughts on “Peanuts and an Apology”
Thanks a lot for sharing this wonderful story Joy. 🙂
I am deeply moved to be more cautious when I utter words and actions to my son’s nanny and house-help. When I am in a hurry (especially when choosing what dress to wear), I tend to be impolite, demanding, entitled, so unbecoming. This reminded me that I should model to my son. In order for him to be respectful and loving kid.
Thank you for this great reminder. People long to see an authentic faith. I have realized a lot of things from this blog post. More power!
Thanks for sharing this story. I admire your kids for knowing the right values. They know not only the good values but most esp GOD Values. Thanks for being not just a good example but a GOD example to your kids and to us your fans 🙂 God bless you and your family!
Thanks for not just being a good example to your kids but being a GOD example to them. God bless you and your family! I love your kids!!!
Pretty story but prettier to be emulated by all parents
Often times it is so hard to lower our pride infront of our kids yet that is what we teach them
And only by the Holy Spirit indeed that we can derive that courage to apply that in our lives
Great use of passage! So enticing to memorize.
God bless your family more
What Edric did was the perfect opportunity to show humility. I think God purposely placed Edric in that situation to test him. Sometimes there are small inconveniences that we are not aware of that God was already testing us how we respond. Your children are so blessed to have courageous parents like you. Because despite your weaknesses and imperfections you and Edric are diligent and vigilant enough to correct yourself, reminding yourselves to do what is right and what honors God. And your children witnessed it first hand. Thanks for sharing…its a good reminder for me and my husband.
This is so insightful. Thank you so much for this article, Joy.
You are very welcome 🙂