Multi-level Homeschooling

May 9, 2013 By 23 Comments

Homeschooling 4 kids has often elicited the question, “How do you do it?” And I must admit that at times, I think to myself, I have no idea! But, there is some madness to the “science” of teaching more than one child. I don’t claim to have the best methods but I can share what has worked for our family. Hopefully, you can get some ideas on how to homeschool more than one child without going crazy!

The eldest child sets the example. Elijah, my 10 year old, is a sponge when it comes to learning. He loves to learn, primarily through reading literature, story books, encyclopedias, documents, articles, manuals…basically, anything with text. God has gifted him with a capacity to absorb and process information. And I’m saying this not to put him up on a pedestal or myself (he is waaaay smarter than I am). I’m sharing this because the time you spend with your eldest child, before any of the other munchkins come along, is very special. No other child will have as much attention. So maximize the years you have with him.

I would talk to Elijah all the time. He began conversing very early and was speaking whole sentences as a one year old. Edric and I made him attentive to the environment around him by pointing out shapes, numbers, letters, colors, objects, etc. I read to him every single day, several times a day. And I helped him to discover and pursue his interests – dinosaurs, airplanes, origami, and architecture. He was around adults so often, which greater enhanced his communication skills.

His interest in learning began early. And when you have an eldest child who is an eager learner it makes a big difference! He sets a positive and inspiring example for his younger siblings to follow.

Master the essentials. There are at least 10 different subjects that children have to cover in the Philippines. It’s just ridiculous. But only a few skills, in my opinion, are really important – reading, comprehension, the ability to communicate and express one’s thoughts and ideas clearly (writing and speaking falls under this), arithmetic, problem solving, and critical thinking. So, I spend the early years of my children’s education enhancing and developing these basic skills. These are foundational.

I don’t, for example, make penmanship an on-going source of conflict between my children and I. Three boys. They prefer not to do tons of writing work. Is that a big deal to me? Not really. I’m gentle about the whole penmanship issue. Titus is just learning how to write his letters and numbers and he is 5. He knows how to write his numbers better than his letters but he still struggles with writing. Does he know the sounds of the letters and what numbers represent? Yes. Those things are major to me. But being able to write his letters and numbers perfectly…he’ll get there.

I didn’t force Elijah and Edan to do pages and pages of handwriting practice, but they both wanted to do cursive early. Cursive? Boys? Sounds like an oxymoron. Surprisingly, Elijah wanted to try writing in cursive when he was 8. And Edan started practicing his cursive a few months ago. They developed the inclination to do so on their own.

The point is I don’t get hung up on subjects that are of minor importance. I spend more time mastering essential skills.

Add variety to routine. Some materials you may purchase for your child are workbook based and text-booky. That’s not even a word but you know what I mean. If you don’t, then what I mean is these materials can be BORING. Kids do the same thing everyday. There’s no spice.

When you homeschool, you have the liberty to incorporate more creativity, mix and match, add here, take away there, enrich, skim through…In other words, you don’t have to be bound by the curriculum. See it as a guide for what your child needs to cover but don’t make it your bible.

For example, if the book says, “Color the correct answer,” and I know that it is going to take my son 15 minutes to color one object, I will say, “Circle the correct answer.” Why? Because the objective is to find out if my child knows the right answer. I don’t care about the coloring. We can do coloring for art. If he can tell me the answer right away, then I prefer that.

Here’s another example: If your child has to do 30 math problems that pretty much cover the same concept, do they really have to do all 30 problems? I ask them to do 15 out of the 30. And if they can answer those 15 problems correctly, I don’t require them to do the next 15. But if they have a lot of errors, then I know they need more practice or I need to review the concept with them.

With language arts, I mix it up for the boys. Sometimes, I allow them to dictate the answers to their questions. Other times, I will take turns writing sentences with them. On other occasions, I will allow them to use the computer. Or, I will ask them to complete the writing assignment on their own but motivate them with an incentive for finishing. It really depends on the circumstance.

Encourage independent reading and research. I’ve often told my children that reading unlocks the door of knowledge. Once they learn how to read well (with comprehension), they can answer their what, why, and how questions without being dependent on me. If they know how to read, they can be taught how to research.

When Elijah wants to go in depth about a topic that he is curious about, I let him research on the Internet or we get more books. I don’t spoon-feed him by being the source all the time. And the truth is, sometimes I can’t answer his questions because I don’t know enough about the topic.

The other day, he wanted to learn about venomous snakes in the Philippines. I put the computer in front of him and said, “Here, research about snakes in the Philippines and we will print out your findings.” He showed me his findings after 30 minutes and was very pleased with himself. I was too. All I had to do was press print!

For a while, I required Edan to read a children’s encyclopedia because he needed to improve his vocabulary. I asked him to read a couple of pages everyday as part of his work. Since he was a reader but I didn’t have the time to do intensive vocabulary instruction, I handed him the book and he reinforced his vocabulary on his own.

Keep everyone preoccupied with productive activity when it is work time. I do the academics with my kids in the morning. But since they are all at different levels, I can’t have them all sitting at desks quietly doing work on their own. This would be ideal and magical but it doesn’t always happen that way. So I have to plan the day by having independent writing or reading work for one child, while I dialogue or teach another. And then we do a switcheroo.

I usually lay out Elijah’s work on a table, in a private area where the noise pollution is minimal. He is an auditory learner so sounds are a distraction. When he is finished reading his Bible, he will proceed to work independently because I mark all the pages he has to cover with tabs. If he has questions, I can come over to his side to answer them. But usually, he doesn’t need me too much for this part of his day.

While Elijah is busy, I will spend time with Titus. In a period of about 45 minutes, we cover math, writing, reading, Bible, and a bit of science. In the meantime, Edan will be assigned to teach Tiana in yet another room. Since Tiana, my two year old, wants to be included in our daily homeschooling routine, she always comes up to me and says, “Mom, can I do my work? Where’s my work?” The thing is, I need to prioritize the older kids. So, I ask Edan to help me out.

Edan is my teacher’s assistant, something that he is very good at. He will very patiently teach and explain to her basic concepts. While he does so, I handle my two other boys. And then Titus and Edan switch places. Titus will have break time with Tiana, playing, doing art, or using manipulatives, so I can give attention to Edan and Elijah.

If Elijah finishes quite a bit of work and needs a break, I let him do Kahn Academy online. He likes to do the math and computer programming. It keeps him very engaged. This frees me up to be with Edan. We do his math and language arts together and then I can give him sit down work with his science notebook or character journal. While he is doing sit-down work and doesn’t need me hovering around him, I discuss science and history with Elijah.

It’s a little bit of a juggling act but we finish by noon most of the time. After lunch, the younger kids nap, and I can continue working with Elijah and Edan if necessary. Or, they have quiet reading time in their room. This is when I get my own personal space to write or even take a nap myself!

By mid-afternoon when all major responsibilities are covered, the kids can play or practice their violin.

Make character instruction a priority. The kids cooperate with our routines because they have internalized obedience. It would be difficult to handle four children without going insane if they didn’t obey, listen, and respond to my instruction. I don’t have to force them to work because they are willing to learn. They are teachable. There are days when they don’t have the best attitudes but that is normal. They still need training.

Edric and I spend a lot of their earlier years (between 1 and 3) instilling obedience. And we introduce them to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior early, too. So, by the time they are 4, 5, 6, 7, we can move on to other traits like responsibility, having the right attitude, attentiveness, hard-work, self-control, kindness, etc., because they have a reason to internalize these traits – to please God.

I don’t think it is possible to have peaceful homeschooling if parents neglect character. At the end of the day, this is the key to teaching several children effectively and enjoying them, too!

Proverbs 23:24-26 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who sires a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you. Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways.

In the Trenches – What I Like

March 8, 2013 By 1 Comment

Last weekend, I was in Cebu with Edric and the kids. No yaya. Wow. It was slightly crazy and wonderful at the same time. Part of the reason we were there was to talk about homeschooling. I was asked to give a testimony as someone who is in the trenches of it. That’s definitely me! So here is my take on homeschooling in a nutshell. I’ve broken up my testimony into two parts and taken bits and pieces from old posts to summarize What I like About Homeschooling and What I’ve Learned as A Homeschooling Mom

What I like About Homeschooling:

Free-flowing Lessons. Learning happens very naturally in the home. Teaching and training my children are not confined to a set period of the day. It doesn’t just happen in the study room of our home. I have four kids at different stages of learning so if I were to do a classroom set-up, I wouldn’t have enough time in the day to teach my kids like a conventional school would. Instead, I let my kids’ learning happen outside of textbooks and workbooks. Learning happens naturally through dialogue and discussion, hands-on experiences, modeling, games, reading and telling stories, socializing with family members or friends, and lots of creative play. I do give my kids workbook and textbook time, as well as writing exercises and tests. But, these conventional learning methods don’t dictate how, what, and when my children learn.

A typical day for our family would be the kids waking up at 7 AM and we have breakfast as a family. By 8:30 or 9 AM we start our lessons. With each child I will cover three to four subject areas. My older son, Elijah, is a pretty independent learner so he can do most of his work on his own. We will read History and Science together because he likes the discussion and interaction time we have when we go through these subjects. In the meantime, my second son, Edan, will be doing his lessons with lots of breaks in between. And when I’m preoccupied with my youngest son, Titus, Edan act as my teacher’s assistant or entertainer. He will help teach Tiana, my fourth child, and keep her busy. I work more closely with Titus because he needs one-on-one instruction. And after about 45 minutes he is done with his “academics” and will work with manipulatives or have free play time with his sister. Everyone is doing something productive between 9 and 12 noon, but it isn’t always sitting down at a desk. In the afternoons, the kids can read, pursue their hobbies, practice their violin, and rest. I rest, too!

A Customized Education – tailor fit to my child’s needs. At home, with one-on-one instruction, it is much easier for a parent to adjust to the learning needs of her child. Titus is a kinesthetic child but like my two older boys, he learned to read early because I modified my approach with him. Phonics instruction was kept short and sweet. We didn’t do too much writing until he was really ready. And I let him have lots of time to play with dough, scissors, glue, marbles…basically anything to help him develop his fine motor skills.

My simple philosophy for teaching my kids is this: All children are equipped to learn and they can develop a genuine love for learning, but a parent must be willing to discover and investigate how her child learns best, welcome the adjustment it requires on her part, and look to the Lord for the supernatural creativity, insight, wisdom and ability that this kind of inspired teaching requires.

At home, children have true play. They can engage in self-initiated activity without the pressure of outcomes. They are challenged to be creative, to conceptualize, and to problem solve while they play. And they have hours and hours to play! I really feel like they get to have an extended childhood that isn’t cut short by the over scheduling and time consuming homework that school-going kids have to deal with.

Learning along-side my children. I have never been excellent in math. I used to dislike it immensely until I started homeschooling my kids. When I became a “math teacher,” I had to re-learn math from the ground up. From pre-school math to upper elementary math (where I find myself now), I am both student and teacher to my kids. When Elijah was in 3rd grade, I peaked at the answer key in the back of his math book when we encountered a word problem I was stumped on (can you believe it?! 3rd grade?!) and he got really upset. He said, “Now you won’t solve the problem with me!” He enjoyed the fact that we solved the problems together. It didn’t matter to him that I wasn’t a math expert and this didn’t keep him from learning. He wanted me to learn along-side him. Nowadays, he uses Kahn Academy to teach himself math.

I call this approach to homeschooling the “teamwork” approach. It is experiencing the process with my kids, encouraging them and inspiring them to learn by making it fun. And often times, their definition of fun is having me beside them.

Cultivating relational intimacy between siblings / between parent and child. Adidas used to have a tag line for basketball. Basketball is a brotherhood. Well, for my boys, homeschooling is a brotherhood. My kids are growing up to be best friends and they often say they are. Homeschooling has a lot to do with it because they are together so often and have to work out their differences, defer to one another, and love one another unconditionally. God has really knit the hearts of my children to one another. They hold each other accountable for responsibilities like violin practice, reading their bibles and praying together. And they have each other’s backs. Elijah recently told me, “I protect my brothers and I stick up for them.”  Someday, they will benefit from each other’s spiritual support and encouragement to weather the storms of life. Developing a loyalty to one another when they are young will have a lot to do with that.

My siblings and I were homeschooled for a time. And it proved to be such an amazing bonding experience, we remain close to this day. We enjoy getting together with our families, sharing meals and conversations, watching movies, playing games and sports, etc. My parents taught us to prioritize loving your family members before friends and this has carried on into our adulthood.

Dr. Gordon Neufeld, a foremost child developmental and clinical psychologist from Canada made this statement during a talk he gave on Why Home Education Works. ”Homeschooling provides the optimum environment for a child to mature into a healthy and whole person who can achieve his fullest potential. Years of research and study show that a child was designed to be raised and educated at home because the most important element in a child’s development towards maturity is his attachment to those who are responsible for him – his parents.” He is not even an advocate of homeschooling. He is an advocate of child development.

He cites the following reasons:

  • At home, children have continuity of contact with their parents. Schools separate children from their parents and foster competing attachments with peers.
  • At home parents taken on the responsibility of pursuing their child relationally. This gives a child rest from the work of attachment. He doesn’t have to strive for the attention or affections of his parent. When children have to work for love or affection, they do not grow or mature.
  • At home, a child faces less separation and less wounding (ideally) so that his heart stays soft and pliable. At school a lot of wounding occurs, especially among peers. This causes a flight from vulnerability and a child develops hardness of heart.
  • At home, parents can support the maturity process. They can handle the stages a child goes through, the questions and the struggles.

I would like to add that at home, parents can continually assure their child, “nothing will separate you form my love…not your attitude, not your behavior, I love you no matter what, but because I love you, I am committed to helping you change and improve.”

Homeschooling has most certainly turned the heart of Edric towards our kids. And he has chosen to be very involved in their lives. This has been a special blessing for our family. The conviction to be a hands-on, intentional father came when Edric began to think about the goals of our parenting and homeschooling.


Influence. Dr. Neufeld also explained that children want to be like those whom they are attached to. They will give their heart to those whom they are attached to. They want to be known and reveal their secrets to those whom they are attached to.

He brought up this very important point: When did your child fall in love with you? When did you child give you his heart? We were never meant to deal with a children whose hearts we did not have. If you do not have the heart of your child, you will not have the context in which to bring him to his fullest potential. If you do not have his heart, you will not have his mind.

Homeschooling allows Edric and I to impact the hearts and minds of our kids because they are very much attached to us. Because we spend the most time with them, we naturally have the most influence, too.

Teaching a Biblical World-view. No education is neutral. No child is neutral. Every child has an orientation towards God or away from God. Edric and I don’t want our children to be bombarded with secular messages and worldviews that will turn them away from a God-ward orientation. So we filter what they learn through the word of God. We protect our children from wrong kinds of indoctrination by peers, teachers, school curriculums and systems that promote humanism vs. theism.

David Sant said, “All education is indoctrination into a religious worldview…All education is undergirded by presuppositions about the origin of the universe, the origin of man, the purpose of man, ethics government relationships between men, and the continuing existence of the universe in an orderly and predictable manner. It is an inescapable fact that all of these basic assumptions are fundamentally religious. Therefore we must view the schoolroom as the place where children are indoctrinated into the religion of their society. The school is, in effect, a temple.”

In a climate of postmodern thinking which has removed God from the picture and promoted the ideas of moral subjectivity, pluralism and relativism, there is a need more than ever before to teach our children the truths that God has given us in his word. When Elijah was 3, he asked us, “What if there is no God…what will happen?”  It was a valid question. Who would have answered this for him if we weren’t around?

As parents, we need to be able to answer key questions that will impact our children’s belief system and determine their choices and actions: Who is God? Who Am I? What on Earth Am I here for? Edric and I aren’t willing to gamble our children’s future convictions by leaving this task up to others.

The faithfulness of God. We chose to homeschool in faith, in obedience to the Lord. We continue to do so, despite our limitations and imperfections to find that God is faithful. Every year that I teach the kids, I look back and think, how did we survive last year and manage to finish everything?! I’m always in awe of how God comes through for us. He is the one who makes my kids excited about learning. He is the one who helps them to learn. They are doing well inspite of me!

 

It Takes All Day

October 17, 2012 By 9 Comments

It takes all day to homeschool. I’m not talking about the part where we use books and workbooks or do homeschool “projects.” I’m talking about everything in between.

For example, today I had a talk with my second son, Edan. He was in a difficult mood yesterday when I was homeschooling him. But I knew that if I had tried to correct his attitude then, it wouldn’t have been effective. He was not ready.

He hovered over his math book like it was some form of torture. I looked at the page he had to complete and I knew, as his teacher, that it wasn’t anything beyond his capacity. It was merely a review of concepts he had already understood just a few weeks prior. I took the book away from him and told him to go to his room and pray about his attitude.

The last thing I want to do when I’m homeschooling my kids is force them to learn when they aren’t spiritually ready. Since I am available to them almost 24 hours, I know we have many more moments in the day to address the heart issues they face. I am not going to ballistic over a page or two of math work. But I won’t let my kids’ negative attitudes linger without addressing them either.

When they act de-motivated, I take a step back, compose myself before losing my cool, and let my kids isolate themselves to think and pray about their actions and attitudes. When they are ready, they will come back to me with some sort of resolution. If not, then I pursue them relationally and sit down with them to talk.

I had asked Edan in the car yesterday if he would like to explain to me why he didn’t want to do his work. He asked me if we could talk privately. This morning, I invited him to a conversation, just the two of us.

It’s amazing how a serious dialogue between a parent and child, without time pressure, can do much to unlock what’s going on inside a child’s heart. I suppose one of the beautiful things about homeschooling is that I’m not rushing my kids off to school or stressing out at the end of the day about their homework, test-preparation, etc. We can be together for extended periods of time to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. Top on my list is the discipleship of my kids…their character.

So we sat there, on the bed and I asked him a few questions. He can be a tough nut to crack because he tends to be quiet about his feelings. When he is upset, he will go lie on his bed and cry. Rarely will he display dramatics. My eldest, Elijah, tends to be the more intense one so he’s more entertaining to watch when he is upset. (Did I just say that? What I mean is, it’s not difficult to guess what he’s feeling.)

With Edan, he has to be pried open gently and the right factors have to be present. When I asked him to come to my room to talk, he knew it was a safe place to tell me whatever he was thinking or feeling. “Can you tell me why you didn’t feel like doing your work yesterday? Mommy wants to be able to help you.” The conversation began along those lines. At first, he wanted to bury his face in a pillow and look at me out of just one eye, while the other one was covered. But I asked him to look directly at me. After a few seconds, he began to share about how he didn’t like books that only had two colors. That made absolute sense coming from a child who is a visual learner. I just didn’t know it made such a big difference to him. And so, I asked, “Do you think it is okay to have a bad attitude if you don’t like your book?” We talked some more about how he was feeling and then I reminded him about the character trait of gratefulness.

A couple months ago, we had covered this topic for our family bible study. My husband, Edric, had asked the kids to memorize the verse, “In everything give thanks.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) I shared with him that it was important to thank God for the blessings that we do have. We talked about how we could apply this in our homeschooling.

In between, Titus tried to spy on us. He poked his head around the door and stood there for a while, hoping to find out what we were talking about. I asked him to close the door and leave us for a bit. He acted like he was closing it but kept a part open so he could still spy on us. I saw his shadow, and said, “Titus…close the door.” Curious little Titus finally shut it.

The conversation between Edan and I resumed. It took a while but we finally arrived at a conclusion. Edan said he would choose to do the right thing and change his attitude. We prayed together. I also shared with him that there are times when I don’t have good attitude…like when “Daddy asks me to do something,” so I also have to work on this area. We both confessed our sins and Edan was back to his old smiley self.

Was he ready to be instructed after that? Yes.

When parents ask me, “How long do you homeschool for?”, I usually say, the kids do their work in the morning. But a more accurate answer to that question would really be, homeschooling takes all day. It’s not just about covering subject matter and saying, “Yes, it was a good day. We got all our ‘work’ done.” So much of what happens in between the work, throughout the many interactions I have with my kids, is the actual homeschooling. I consider this to be the more important part of what I do.

It’s very hard to explain this to parents who are on the outside looking in. And I understand where they are coming from because their concerns center around, “How many subjects do I have to teach? How much time will it take?” After all, this often seems like the most intimidating aspect of homeschooling. Many parents feel inadequate before they ever begin because the very word “homeschooling” sounds a whole lot like school-at-home. And we associate “school” with school-related work like learning about math, English, science, history, Filipino, social Studies, geography, music, art, etc. (Oh and don’t forget Bible and character!) We look at the line up of subject areas and it’s like, “How the heck am I going to teach all that?” I’m not a professional teacher!”

My encouragement to parents who feel this way is this…teaching subjects is the easier task when discipleship is a priority. Discipleship is primary. Once we make the acquisition of knowledge the priority, we start homeschooling for the wrong reasons and we can start teaching the wrong way, too. Outbursts of anger, irritation, impatience will surface when we feel that our “academic” goals for our kids are blocked. For example, when they aren’t cooperative and they aren’t motivated we get annoyed. And we want to push, push, push. What are we pushing towards? They may comply externally and complete ten pages of their math workbook in one sitting but their heart is far away from us, far away from the Lord.

I can’t settle for that kind of education in our home. My prayer is that each year our children grow deeper in love with Jesus, that their hearts remain teachable and receptive to our instruction, and they make leaps and bounds in the area of godly character. That is homeschooling. And that takes all day, every day, until God says they are ready to go out into the world to be his instruments of change, to bear his gospel, and to pursue the mission he has called them to.

Mix it Up!

July 17, 2012 By 15 Comments

If I had to homeschool the same way every single day, I confess to you, I would be bored out of my mind. I am sort of a free-spirited chick who can handle routine for a certain period of time, but needs to mix it up once in a while. Okay, I am routine about homeschooling in the mornings, but it doesn’t have to be done the exact same way. Like this…

I wanted the kids to be outdoors. The sun was bright and shining. The grass was oh, so green. So I set up a table outdoors, brought out chairs, and a rug for the younger kids to enjoy. It made the morning so much more invigorating. Of course, the kids were sweating like anything, but they got their work done like good little homeschoolers.

Whenever I give my learning styles talk to parents, I always say, “Prioritize the love for learning.” Children are natural learners, but they don’t always learn in the way we want them to. So be willing to adjust your teaching — whether it be mode of delivery, content, environment, disposition, etc. A child who enjoys his learning experience is highly motivated and easy to teach. But if you force-fit kids into a one-size-fits-all approach to learning, it is very likely that you will get frustrated with their responses.

I wanted my son to make a collage-like painting of what the Philippines means to him and he hated the idea. He was like, “I don’t want to do that. I don’t know what to paint.” I thought it was a great idea! After all, painting is sooo fun. Well, it is to my second son, who likes to do art. But to my older son, it was like bleck. So, I suggested that he pour different colored sand into a glass bottle to show the “colors of the Philippines.” Well, that appealed to him and he did that without my assistance and it turned out beautifully.

What’s my point? When teaching your children, don’t be afraid to mix it up so you can get your goals of instruction accomplished. If your kids are having fun while homeschooling, you will finish your checklist of things to learn and get done by the end of the year (maybe even earlier).

Look at Edan’s serious face…deep in thought about Sing, Spell, Read, and Write. And there is Elijah’s head while he reads his Civics.

And here is Titus, putting red magnets on his eyes.

Edan is sweating, but doing great!

Rest While Homeschooling

July 8, 2012 By 8 Comments

Yesterday, I shared with my dad a story about homeschooling one of my sons, and he asked me to share it during his message today to illustrate what it means to rest in Gods presence, from a parent’s perspective.

As a homeschooling mom of four children, my patience gets tried pretty often. My kids are between the ages of 2 and 9 and God gave me a mix of different personalities to train my character. One of the challenges of teaching my own kids is remaining spirit-filled when they are unmotivated about studying. Perhaps all parents can relate when I say that there are many occasions when I am tempted to give in to irritation and frustration by reacting negatively and harshly. But, by God’s grace, when I practice the presence of God, he gives me victory in this area. He gives me his rest to replace my distress.

For example, some time ago, I assigned one of my sons an activity. He had to write and draw about the life cycle of a fern for science. Mid-way through his assignment, he dropped his pencil in a dramatic manner, slumped back into the chair and said, “I can’t do this! I don’t want to write anymore.” I struggled to respond positively to him because he had this reoccurring issue with writing. He would become negative and demotivated when I assigned him writing tasks.

But God reminded me, “let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

I prayed, “What is the right response, Lord?” because I felt the heat rising to my neck and head, and I wanted to lecture him on the importance of writing and perseverance. But instead of doing so, I asked him, “Is there any way I can improve as your teacher to help you develop a love for writing?” He said, “I don’t know” and he started going on and on about how he just did not like to write. According to him, he wasn’t a good writer. So I tried to say very calmly, “Why don’t we pray together, why don’t you pray about it?”

“I don’t know what to pray! You pray, mom!” and he sounded agitated and discouraged. Wow, this was a serious issue for him! This was my one thought and the other thought I had was “This is ridiculous! Get over your dramatics, snap out of it and just finish your work!” But again, the Lord reminded me, be an encourager, be positive. So I didn’t say those things.

Instead, I prayed with him, “Lord, please help my son to develop a love for writing, to understand that it is important to learn this skill, and to change his attitude.” Afterwards, I asked him again, “Are you ready now?”

“No I still don’t want to write.” And he slumped further back into his chair and started to tear. I felt my anger start to rise again because in my mind, I was trying every spirit-filled tactic, but it was not working. I was at the tipping point.

Yet once again God spoke to me and gave me another idea. “Your son belongs to me, remember? So turn him over and let me deal with him. Don’t make this writing assignment more important than your relationship with him. Let him speak to me about it.”

That was a great idea! I told my son, “I am not going to force you to write right now. But I want you to go to your room and spend time alone with God. I know that Jesus is in your heart and he will tell you how you should change your attitude and what you should do about this writing assignment.” My son looked at me and he was kind of shocked, but I insisted that he go and have alone time with God to pray.

In five minutes, my son came back to me and said, “I am ready, mom.” “For what?” I prodded and he responded, “To write.” Really? Why? “God spoke to me and told me to.” By then, his tone and his posture had changed. He went back to his desk and finished his work and even did so while singing, too! God had changed his attitude completely.

Years ago my husband and I shared the gospel with this son of ours and he made Jesus his Lord and Savior. And so this experience was not just about experiencing rest in Gods presence as a parent, but about teaching my son to do the same. I learned that the responses we have towards our children must be redemptive in nature, restoring them to the Lord, causing them to draw closer to him instead of pushing them away because of our temper, anger, irritation, or ungodliness. I still struggle with patience as a homeschool mom but God is my source of strength, joy, grace, and peace when I teach my kids. He is my rest! All glory goes to him!

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NASB)

If you are interested in viewing the message during today’s service here it is…

Rest In God’s Presence — Message by Peter Tan-Chi

Debra Bell’s Key Factors for Homeschooling Success

May 22, 2012 By 29 Comments

Debra Bell, author of The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling, was a plenary speaker at the recently held Philippine Homeschool Conference.

She was a pioneering homeschool mom and educator who was instrumental in legalizing home education in Pennsylvania back in the 1980s. Her book has been an invaluable tool to homeschoolers around the world. I read my mom’s first edition copy years ago when I was researching about homeschooling.

Her book and testimony is of even greater value to me at present because her children are all grown up, married and successful. They are committed followers of Jesus, accomplished in their occupations of choice, and they all remain close as a family. They are living proof that Debra and her husband, Kermit, made the right choice by homeschooling. I was blessed to spend some personal time with her and hear stories about her family and her walk with God. She is a remarkable woman.

During a smaller gathering of parents that was organized a day before the conference, she shared six key principles for homeschooling success. In the decades that she has taught her kids, been a certified educator, and served the homeschooling community, she has narrowed down the success factors to six non-negotiables. Regardless of culture, these factors are elemental to gracefully surviving homeschooling:

1.Your family relationships are healthy.

Do you and your spouse prioritize your marital relationship?
Do you pursue your children relationally?

She recommends reading books like Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp

2. Your home is educationally stimulating. Children’s natural curiosity is God-given and never intended to be extinguished.

What value do you place on education?
Are you convinced that God wants you to invest in the intellectual gifts of your children?
What do you expect your child to devote his or her time to?
Are you willing to invest in the best resources you can afford?

3. You have a biblical conviction that God has called you to this.
How did you make your decision?
Do you trust that God will make His will known?

“A double-minded is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8

Homeschooling is born out of a biblical conviction and is sustained by faith and grace.

4. You are committed to Christian maturity
What is your commitment to progressive sanctification in your own life?
Are you growing in spiritual maturity and Christ-likeness?

Expect homeschooling to be uncomfortable, but by God’s power, you can do it!

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.
In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:3-8 NLT)


5. You have a support system.
Do you have people with whom you can build a homeschool community for the benefit of your children?
Can you share resources with family and friends?

6. You are willing to seek help.

Do you acknowledge that you need others?

God gives grace to the humble. No homeschooler is an island. You will need to supplement and augment your weaknesses by enlisting the help of others.

Here is the encouragement, if these factors are in check, you can be confident that you are providing the best education you can for your kids.

I love this quote of Debra Bell. If we built a school from the ground up based on how children learn best, we would build a home. May this inspire you!

Connect with her here: Debra Bell

Do You Have What It Takes?

April 29, 2012 By 21 Comments

I am not incredibly smart. I am not an expert in all subject matter that I teach my kids, but I made a commitment when I said yes to homeschooling. And it is this commitment that gets me up each day to keep parenting and teaching my kids.

Whatever fears parents may have about ability, it is not the biggest challenge of homeschooling. The hardest thing to do is to stay immovable, steadfast, resolute.

When Edric and I made the decision to homeschool our kids, there wasn’t any other option we preferred over it. We were dead-set on teaching them ourselves because of Deuteronomy 6:5-7. And we gave ourselves no exit. Indefinitely…until God says so.

My greatest hurdle so far has not been the actual teaching. My greatest obstacle is often ME. But when my commitment starts to wane, I hold on to a vision, a beautiful hope.

I look forward to the day when I can present my children before the Lord — grown men and women, who are 100% in love with their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Men and women who are fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives and making a positive difference in the world, for the glory of God.

When I fixate on this purpose, it’s like getting my gas tank refueled with the motivation I need to press on. And my source of strength is not my own will or drive. As 1 Corinthians 15:57 and 58 says, “but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.”

I love this passage. It reminds me that Jesus has given me the capacity to homeschool victoriously. Because of finished work at calvary, he conquered sin, death, limitations, human failure. His victory makes me able. I just need to wake up and be willing to homeschool one more day, one more week, month, year.

When I had my fourth child, I had the craziest homeschool schedule. It had to revolve around breast feeding, my exhaustion, and the demands of a baby. But I gave it what I could. I did not give myself excuses. And somehow, in spite of my great inadequacies and the many distractions that interfered with my daily routines, my second son learned to read, and my eldest scored in the 98th percentile on his achievement test. I am sharing these academic progresses because it matters to those who worry about the “school” part of homeschooling. In reality, however, it is the spiritual maturity of my kids that matters more to me.

But their academic progress represented God’s faithfulness. It was his personal encouragement to me. When I saw the results of my son’s assessment, I cried. It was God’s personal encouragement to me. If I could have put it into words, it felt like he was saying, “You keep homeschooling, just stay faithful, and I will be faithful. Keep nurturing your children spiritually. You do your part and I will do mine.”

God has not failed to fill in where I miss out, to remedy my errors, realign my perspective, recharge my battery, or take over when I have reached my limits.

Homeschooling, for me, is a testimony of the “in spite of.” My kids are turning out okay (so far and by God’s grace), in spite of me. I just do what is required. COMMITMENT. Duty not drama, faithfulness not feelings, resolution not revolution. Just do it.

My confidence is this — If I am homeschooling because of God’s call, through him and for him, then I can surrender that vision and beautiful hope of my children to him. He asks for faithfulness but he is the most faithful. His faithfulness is completely dependable and trustworthy. Like his word says, “Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24 NASB)

The Listening Learner

April 20, 2012 By 16 Comments

Do you have a child that easily retains and remembers information that she or he hears? If so, you’ve got an auditory learner. These kinds of learners will enjoy dialoguing with you about their lesson and listening to you read a story or hearing you read about a topic.  My oldest son, Elijah, is very much an auditory learner. He is a listening learner, which is great because I can dictate, read, or talk with him and he can process that information.

The downside is that if he is in a room trying to work and his siblings are noisy, he has a very hard time concentrating. (The other downside for me, but upside for him is that he remembers everything I say…a whole lot better than I do!)

I find creative ways to accommodate his learning style. One way is to isolate him in a room with me so he can think when he has to do math or writing assignments. This helps him stay focused and engaged. Otherwise, he wants to be a part of every conversation and activity that he hears about.When it comes to his lessons, particularly Science, Local Civics, and History, I read aloud to him and ask him questions as I go along.

While it is pretty easy to teach him, the challenge is that I have four kids. And if I were to read aloud to all of my kids every single day, I would run out of saliva. Seriously. I read The Chronicles of Narnia to Elijah when he was five and my mouth would get parched. He would run to the kitchen and get me a glass of water so I could keep going, but it was tiring!

I was happy to discover some years back that many audio books of children’s literature and classics have been made by ingenious people. Not all books can be downloaded or played online, but once in awhile you discover a gem of a site with free audio books and it makes your day!

This evening we listened to the Velveteen Rabbit on Light Up Your Brain. This site has a few stories in MP3 format so they play on any audio device and of course, they are free. Kids can listen to each story and visit the story’s page, where they can read along.

For other audio book sites you can check out the following: (Please be aware that some of these sites have books for adults only)

Books Should Be Free

Lit 2 Go Adventure Genre

Audio Books for Free – Fiction Classics

Gutenberg: The Audio Books Project

 

Where Do I Start?

March 27, 2012 By 39 Comments

About a month ago, a reader expressed that she was interested in homeschooling but didn’t know where to start. I wasn’t able to see her comment until today and I feel horrible about it. But this post is dedicated to her and her very important question.

“I’m interested in homeschooling, but where do I start?”

Attend a homeschool orientation. Homeschool providers usually give free orientations about their programs and an overview of home education. Attend several if necessary to get a big picture perspective on home schooling in the Philippines. Here are some providers to choose from:

Get connected to other homeschoolers. Join their social networks or email groups. Homeschoolers are very friendly and accommodating. They don’t mind being spied on! You can ask your questions and get answers from a number of people who have “been there and done that.”

Attend the Philippine Homeschool Conference 2012 on May 19, 2012. This is an annual event organized by  HAPI (Homeschool Association of the Philippine Islands) for homeschoolers and parents.

Be in agreement with your spouse about making the decision to homeschool. Homeschooling is a way of life more than it is an education. When a family decides to homeschool, every member of the family participates. Fathers may be in charge of devotion time or physical education, and mothers may handle the majority of the subjects, but at the end of the day, both husband and wife must be 100% committed to home education.

Read and follow blogs by homeschoolers in the Philippines. Homeschooling blogs have useful review on books and curriculum that you can use for your own kids. They also talk about upcoming homeschool events, and give practical tips on parenting and teaching. Most of all, they make people realize that homeschoolers are normal people who have their own struggles, shorcomings and frustrations but manage to successfully educate their children (by God’s grace!).

 Do your homework.

  • Read up on homeschool teaching methods.
  • Call the Department of Education (NCR) to get an updated list of accredited homeschool providers. 928-0104; 921-4274
  • Check out the latest facts on homeschooling by Dr. Brian Ray’s National Home Education Research Institute. NHERI
  • Be aware of the Philippine government’s legal stand on homeschooling

Homeschooling and Open Universities in the Philippines 
Homeschool Legal Defense Association on the Philippines

Consider the cost. Homeschooling will require your time, energy, effort, and positive parenting.

  • Instruction Time: Pre-schooler (1.5 to 2 hours daily); Elementary (3 to 4 hours daily); High school (4 to 5 hours daily)
  • Energy: Being with your kids all day can zap you! Realize, however, that you are making an investment in your relationship with them and their future success.
  • Effort: Homeschooling involves goal setting, planning, scheduling, and actual instruction. You have to prepare for your lessons. Some subjects can be done spontaneously and without much planning ahead. But when you have projects or experiments, you will need to have all your supplies and materials ready. You will also need to understand certain lessons and subject matter before presenting these to your child (especially for older children.)
  • Positive parenting: A good relationship with your child will greatly help your homeschooling. Children naturally respond to parents’ teaching and instruction if they feel loved, accepted, built-up, and when they are disciplined appropriately. A Christ-centered home is the best environment for homeschooling.

If you have the opportunity to, spend a day with a homeschooling family that you know and observe how teaching and instruction happens in their home. See how they set-up their “homeschool area.” Ideally, this should be a family whose children are “good products” of home education.

Pray about it! Make a list of your fears and apprehensions. Surrender these to the Lord and ask him for confirmation and clear leading about whether you should homeschool.

Have the right motivation. Why choose to homeschool? Don’t let your number one reason be an economic one. My husband, Edric, and I decided to homeschool because we want our children to grow up to love, know, serve, obey, and worship God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. Every family that wants to homeschool needs to ask themselves the why question.

 

MORE HELP:

Really Good Smart Parenting Articles on Homeschooling you may also find helpful:

Homeschooling In the Philippines – FAQs and Tips for Parents

How to Choose a Program for Your Child

Why Homeschooling Is Best for Your Preschooler

Homeschooling Your Big Kid – 6-to-7-year-old

The Benefits of Homeschooling Your Child

What It Takes to Homeschool Your Child

 

Wanted: Teacher Mom

March 17, 2012 By 5 Comments

Can I really homeschool? Read this article on homeschooling misconceptions and decide for yourself.

My encounter with homeschooling began as a child, at about the age of 9, when my parents decided to pull my siblings and me out of a Chinese school so we could all be homeschooled. After praying about it for a year, my mom waited for my dad’s “go” signal to do it. Though initially reluctant about the radical move, within a year’s time, God moved in his heart and he wholeheartedly gave my mom the blessing to homeschool.

It was one of the best decisions my parents made for our family. From this point on, the homeschooling experience rooted itself into the core of my being. I believed then as I believe now that it is a superior education with superior benefits. Yes, this may sound like a biased opinion, especially since my siblings and I transitioned and navigated through high school and college without difficulty. However, I have also met hundreds upon hundreds of other homeschooling families who share the same sentiment because they have seen the results in their own children. The conventional school set-up cannot compete with the tailor-fit, customized education that homeschooling provides.

Since this was my perspective from the moment I first became a mom, homeschooling was my number one option for my children’s education. So when I was asked to write an article on the misconceptions about homeschooling by HAPI, I must confess that because I was sold on it from the very beginning I wasn’t one of those parents who had a whole lot of fears about educating my own children. But these misconceptions do exist and they need to be addressed. Often times, it is these very misunderstandings about homeschooling that prevent people from doing it. (Please be aware that these misconceptions are localized to the Philippine setting but include data from the Philippines and the US.)

Misconception # 1: Homeschooling is only for out-of-school youth, sickly children, actors or actresses who need a flexible education, or conventional school rejects.

When Edric and I attended the Homeschooling Forum organized by the Department of Education last year, it felt like we were sheep among wolves. We were there with representatives from TMA Homeschool and other homeschooling organizations to present best practices for home education. Sadly, the opinion of educators is that homeschooling is an alternative – when no other option makes sense or exists. Edric did a great job of presenting a case for home schooling by sharing achievement test scores and giving a profile of homeschooling families in the Philippines.

Facial expressions changed as school owners, principals, and Dep Ed officials realized that homeschooling is a superior education. From sceptically uninformed, they became curious and wanted to know more.

A majority of the time, parents choose to homeschool because they believe it is a better education. But the journey to this point may vary for each family. Some will do their own research. Others will attend orientations (and attend again). Or they will observe other homeschooling families whom they know and see a positive difference in the children. Still others will proceed with sending their children to a conventional school but never quite feel peace or satisfaction with the outcome. A good number will actually be disgruntled with their child’s school experience and seek out homeschooling as an option. And yes, there are those whose children need special learning conditions because of health reasons or because they are professional athletes or in the entertainment industry.

Families may homeschool for a number of reasons, but more often than not, it is a choice made with considerable thought, planning, and analysis of pros and cons.

Misconception # 2: Homeschoolers are deprived of healthy social interaction.

This is a favourite. I have yet to meet a homeschooled kid that does not know how to make friends or engage in conversation. In fact, the longer a child is homeschooled, the more confident and outgoing he becomes. Now, there are some aberrations. If parents are teaching an only child and they live in a remote provincial area cut-off from the rest of humanity, then yes, that child may struggle through the friend-making process. Yet, the majority of homeschoolers attend playgroups, coops, see their friends often, and are enrolled in all kinds of enrichment classes.

On one occasion, my eldest son, Elijah, had a neighbour friend over to play. They were talking about school and this friend of his said, “You should go to school so you can have many friends.” Elijah responded, “You have no idea how many friends I have. I have so many friends I can’t even count them.” And it’s true! My children may not be with their friends every single day, but they have many opportunities to socialize.

Yet this is not the most important consideration. As parents, we need to correctly understand social development. It is different from socialization. A child sitting in a classroom with 8 year olds all day long, every single year, is not in a normal social environment. This isn’t the condition of the real world he will one day be a part of.

The most natural social environment is the home – where children develop healthy relationships with their parents and siblings, with the Lord, and then with others. Sharing, deference, respect, kindness, forgiveness, and submission to authority are key traits of good relationships. And when these are learned at home, they are applied outside of the home.

Misconception # 3 – Homeschooling is cheaper than conventional schooling.

To this statement, I have to say that homeschooling is as reasonable and as expensive as you make it to be. It can be cheaper because you eliminate the high cost of tuition, transportation, uniforms, daily allowances, and packed lunches. But as a homeschooler you can also spend alot on field trips, music, art, PE classes, books and materials, or an umbrella program. You decide on what is worth the cost.

My family may spend less or more than others. The education we pay for goes beyond books and materials. We expose our children to activities that enrich their learning experience. Some families, however, will spend even more. They will take their children on quarterly trips out of the country or they will enrol them in so many different classes so they can learn art, several musical instruments, and different sports. It’s really a matter of personal preference when it comes to cost. Spending more or less, however, does not spell the difference between a better education and a lesser one. A parent’s involvement and teaching is what makes homeschooling a better education, not cost.

Misconception # 4: Parents can’t teach their children if they aren’t professionally trained.

I love to explain this one. Personally, I believe that parents make the best teachers because we know and love our children better than anyone. We have the motivation to help our children succeed and we have the sensitivity to detect whether they are “getting it” or not. Besides, homeschooling is not like teaching a classroom (teachers are better at this because they have been trained to manage large numbers of children). Academic instruction in the home, however, is done one is to one. It is tutorial in nature.

A parent sits down beside her child to explain concepts, dialogue, interact, monitor, and encourage the learning process. She doesn’t need to be an expert at every subject. The greater challenge is being patient, unconditionally loving, positive, flexible, and having the wisdom to address character and heart issues. Most of all, a parent needs to have a higher purpose for teaching. These are more important qualifications than having a teaching degree.

Removed from the institutional learning environment where the pressure to excel and succeed is very high, it is actually easier for a parent to encourage the love for learning in the relaxed environment of a home. In school, a child must keep up with the pace. A teacher cannot suspend the lesson plan to cater to the minority in the classroom who are falling behind. Each child is expected to learn the same way everyone else does and to cope. If he does fall behind, he must be tutored at home or by a professional, or he is put in another “section.”

In contrast, a parent is better able to respond to her child’s learning needs. She knows when her child doesn’t get a topic, when he is struggling through a lesson, or when it’s too easy for him so that he gets restless and bored. A parent is very much aware of the facial expressions, gestures, posture, disposition, and attitudes of her child. She can spend more time on a topic or go quicker through a lesson. And because she is the parent, she can prioritize the instruction of her child’s heart – his character – which will, in turn, make him more receptive to her teaching.

I often challenge parents to ask themselves, “What is the goal of my instruction?” Is it merely to teach required subject matter? Is it to make sure they get a good job, profession or business that will provide for their needs and for their future family?

All of us need to define what life success is for our children and teach them in that direction. In our family, Edric and I have based our definition on God’s word. In Deuteronomy 6:4-7 it says that parents are to love God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength and to teach this to their children. Therefore, the goal of our instruction is beyond academic success. It is to raise our children to love God with all their heart and live for him, which will impact everything they become and do in the future.

Misconception # 5: Homeschooling is only for religious people or Christian conservatives.

In the past, I would have said this was true. The homeschooling movement in the Philippines began with Deuteronomy 6:4 to 7 as its originating conviction. But, as the movement has grown, many families are choosing to homeschool because they believe homeschooling is a superior education, and not necessarily because of a biblical mandate. They want their children to learn outside the context of a four walled institution. Or, they want to have control over what their children learn. Recently, Newsweek published an online article entitled, Why Urban, Educated Parents Are Turning to DIY Education, that explains how parents are opting to educate their own children because they believe that family is important. (http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/01/29/why-urban-educated-parents-are-turning-to-diy-education.html)

In the US, for example, homeschooling is no longer limited to Bible-believing Christians. It is gaining popularity because of its benefits, which are relevant to all families. Dr. Brian Ray, who is the foremost researcher in America for home education presented the latest findings on reasons why parents homeschool:

  • customize or individualize the curriculum and learning environment for each child,
  • accomplish more academically than in schools,
  • use pedagogical approaches other than those typical in institutional schools,
  • enhance family relationships between children and parents and among siblings,
  • provide guided and reasoned social interactions with youthful peers and adults,
  • provide a safer environment for children and youth, because of physical violence, drugs and alcohol, psychological abuse, and improper and unhealthy sexuality associated with institutional schools, and
  • teach and impart a particular set of values, beliefs, and worldview to children and youth.[1]

Misconception # 6: My children’s academic future will be compromised.

I can present data and facts about how well homeschoolers do academically. But there are certain realities that parents also need to consider. Parents may opt to homeschool independently or under an umbrella program. There are advantages and disadvantages to both. Independent homeschoolers run the risk of getting denied entrance into conventional schools that require report cards and grades, regardless of how well they do on their entrance tests. Independent homeschoolers must also take and pass the Department of Education’s Validation Test if they want to receive credit for the levels they studied at home. But independent homeschoolers can fully customize their child’s education which many parents find desirable. They are not required to follow the grading system or an organization and have a free hand to choose curriculum and materials. Many independent homeschoolers also band together and share best practices with one another.

Families who are connected with an umbrella organization or homeschool program often have to comply with the program’s requirements for promoting a child to the next level of instruction. They also have to subscribe to the organization’s philosophy of education. While certain programs offer flexibility in terms of curriculum choices, not all programs have this option. But families can easily transition into the conventional school when they feel their children are ready. Umbrella programs have a relationship with the Department of Education which allows them to credit the work accomplished by a child enrolled with them. Children are issued report cards and documents that schools require. Homeschool programs also offer a sense of community for families and a support system that includes trainings, events, and even music, art, and PE classes.

Academically speaking, homeschoolers do just fine. They often excel when they enter the conventional school because they are self-directed learners who are motivated to work hard and have acquired good study habits. Results borrowed from TMA Homeschool’s achievement testing, for example, show that nearly 50% of homeschooled kids perform 2 grade levels higher than their school-going peers in Math, Language, and Science.[2] And most of their students get into their school of choice.

U.S. homeschooling statistics show that…

  • The home-educated typically score 15 to 30 percentile points above public-school students on standardized academic achievement tests. (The public school average is the 50th percentile; scores range from 1 to 99.)
  • Homeschool students score above average on achievement tests regardless of their parents’ level of formal education or their family’s household income.
  • Whether homeschool parents were ever certified teachers is not related to their children’s academic achievement.
  • Degree of state control and regulation of homeschooling is not related to academic achievement.
  • Home-educated students typically score above average on the SAT and ACT tests that colleges consider for admissions.
  • Homeschool students are increasingly being actively recruited by colleges.[3]

Personally, I believe that academic success is a natural by-product when parents focus on teaching their children character and values. Responsible and disciplined children study well and do their best!

Misconception # 7: Homeschooling my children will mean giving up my job, career, or business.

I’ve often been asked the question, “Can I work and homeschool?” If you are a supermom, then yes. But I will be honest with you. Homeschooling is a full-time job. I’ve got four kids and if I had an 8 to 5 job I wouldn’t be able to commit what is necessary to give my children quality instruction time. But I have known some pretty incredible women who homeschool and have a part-time job, or at least a flexible one that allows them to control their own schedules. However, it is not the ideal set-up. Something gets sacrificed in the process because it is not easy to manage homeschooling, work, motherhood, wife duties, etc and give your 100%. It can be done but it is exhausting. Moms either burn out or have to make a choice. A better option for a woman who wants to supplement her husband’s income is to start a home based business. This keeps her accessible and available to her children, and allows the children to contribute and help out in the business.

When Edric and I conduct pre-marital seminars or counseling, or when we speak at marriage retreats, we share a simple principle. PRIORITIES. Priorities will determine whether homeschooling + working is the best choice for a family. We encourage people to follow this order of priorities — God, spouse, children, work/ministry, friends. If work or ministry makes a woman unable to follow her order of priorities than something has to change. But if she can efficiently manage homeschooling and work, without compromising her hierarchy of priorities, then why not?

Misconception # 8: I’m not patient enough to teach my own children.

Welcome to the club. Honestly, no homeschooling parent has perfect patience. I’ve interacted with hundreds. This is a common struggle.

I never realized I was impatient until I started homeschooling! Homeschooling my children exposed my weaknesses and failings. It made me want to be a better mom, to make the changes necessary for maximum impact in the lives of my children. However, this was not enough. I had to come to a point of recognition that I am limited. If I do not walk with God or have a personal relationship with him that is deep and intimate, I do not have a reservoir of grace to draw from when I teach my kids.

A parent who enters into a personal relationship with Jesus experiences victory over weaknesses and sin, and receives his enablement. Some of the most effective homeschoolers I know are committed followers of Jesus who understand that parenting is a spiritual journey that requires spiritual empowerment.

Last September 2011, Edric and I were able to attend the HSLDA conference in Branson, Missouri. (The HSLDA conference is a gathering of homeschool leaders across America that happens yearly.) I felt intimidated at first. Edric and I were much younger than everyone. I met and listened to families who have been homeschooling for over twenty years. Some had homeschooled for thirty years! (The average number of children per family was 7.) What made these parents effective homeschoolers was not their perfect attitudes or personalities, it was Jesus Christ in them. That is the secret to good parenting and good homeschooling!

So can you homeschool? I definitely think so! But this is something you have to weigh and consider carefully. Now that you have had the misconceptions clarified, it is time to research, attend parenting seminars, homeschool orientations, talk to other homeschoolers and their kids, discuss the possibility with your spouse, and pray for discernment.

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[1] Brian Ray, RESEARCH FACTS ON HOMESCHOOLING (as of January 2011.) National Home Education Research Institute. http://www.nheri.org/research/research-facts-on-homeschooling.html

[2] TMA Homeschool’s Achievement Testing as of December 2011. 198 elementary students tested.

[3] Brian Ray, RESEARCH FACTS ON HOMESCHOOLING (as of January 2011.) National Home Education Research Institute. http://www.nheri.org/research/research-facts-on-homeschooling.html

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