Bloggys Award For Family and Relationships

What an unexpected but wonderfully pleasant surprise to receive the Bloggys 2015 Award for the blogging category of Family and Relationships. Unfortunately I couldn’t physically accept the award last Saturday because I was at the wedding of my sister-in-law. 

When I first began writing online I never imagined that my blog would have this kind of reach or be recognized this way. All glory goes to the Lord for blessing this site with faithful readers and followers and causing it to minister to people all around the world. It gives me much joy to know that this site is making a positive difference in the lives of others. 

I am so honored to be named a finalist and congratulations to all the other winners!!! Read more here: Bloggys 2015


Keep Calm And Walk On Your Bare Feet

  I grew up with a mother who wasn’t a primadonna. She didn’t need anyone to baby her or massage her emotions. Just recently, I found out she drove herself to the emergency room when she woke up at midnight with unusually high blood pressure. She didn’t think she needed to trouble my sleeping father to attend to her.

When she told me about this (a month later), a part of me thought, You should have asked dad to bring you, mom. Your health is a big deal. You are almost 70! It’s okay to ask for help.

But another part of me was like, Way to go, mom. You are something else! And even though it troubled me that her blood pressure spiked like that, I admire my mom for being the low maintenance person that she is. She tilts towards the positive spectrum when it comes to interpreting her circumstances. More importantly, she’s not a self-focused person. She doesn’t burden others with drama.

Because of her example, I have a peg in my mind when I encounter unfavorable incidences. Take yesterday for instance…I suffered a mishap on the way to a radio interview and I tried to imagine what mom would do.

As I exited my car in a hurry, I broke my shoe when I tripped on the cobblestone driveway of One Corporate Plaza. The uneven surface proved to be treacherous for my footing, and the strap popped off my right wedge in an irreparable way. I tried to keep it on, hobbling towards the glass doors as I made a spectacle of myself. It was a miserable fail. Finally, I thought, what the heck, I will just take them both off.

(I know this situation would have been familiar to my mother. She has no issues with removing her shoes when they fall apart or become uncomfortable. The other day she walked all around S&R barefoot because she said her shoes were hurting her. Good for you, mom!)

So, I unbuckled my wedges, picked them up, and traipsed into the building, right up to the lobby desk to sign myself in. Afterwards, I lined up behind people in suits to get into the elevator. I got some curious looks as people noticed my toes sticking out from under the hem of my skirt. But I had an appointment to catch so I didn’t really care. One of the suited men left the elevator I went into to take another one…maybe he thought I was crazy.

The good news is I got to my interview just in time! My barefeet did the job of running me up the two flights of stairs to the FEBC office when the elevator could go no further. So there I was, with hosts Vins Santiago and Haydee Seberano for the program, Family Matters, to talk about my book and my life story. They laughed with me as I recounted what happened.

 When I messeged the women in my discipleship group, thanking them for praying for my interview, I received comments like, “Wow, you are so positive…I don’t know if I would have responded that way.”

Well, I have my chillax mother to thank for that! I praise God that she is not a panicker or a hyper-ventilator.

The difference between my mother and me, however, is I am the type to SOS my husband when I need help. She would have walked right back out the building barefoot. But I texted Edric in the middle of my interview asking him if he could have someone buy me slippers. And like the knight and shining armor he is, he sent slippers to me so I could walk out of the building with slightly more dignity!

When I think about my mom, I’m reminded of the passage in Proverbs 31:25 which reads, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” My mom epitomises this because she is a woman who trusts in the Lord. She isn’t afraid of what people will think of her, either (which is why she readily shares the gospel, even with strangers.) And when situations are inconvenient or difficult, she elects to see the bright side, making the most of the moments God sends her way. I pray this example rubs off on me more!




Family Covenant 

  My sister in law, Danie, just got married. She was a beautiful bride!

A day before the wedding, Edric’s family (including in-laws) gathered together for lunch at Kettle in Shang-rila mall to spend time with her. Towards the end of the lunch,  my father-in-law pulled out the “Mendoza Family Covenant,” which he drafted back in 2002, a year after Edric and I were married. This document itemized certain commitments that the Mendoza family ought to live by, no matter how circumstances may change through the years. 


It’s a thoughtfully crafted list that reminds each and everyone of us that our relationship with one another should be preserved and honored at all costs. 

My father-in-law penned the words of this covenant which reads:

We bind ourselves to this covenant of unconditional love.

We will keep this family united. We will not be separated by distance, nor by illness, nor by financial circumstances. We will always keep the channels of communication open. We will forgive, if not forebear, each other’s imperfections. We will not be torn by hurts, nor envy, nor greed, nor rivalry. 

We will always help the lesser of our family. Always. We will give mercy and share blessings even where it isn’t deserved. We will be abundant with our blessings toward each other, knowing that what we earn and accumulate doesn’t belong to us but to God who cares for us to share with the less fortunate.

We will celebrate our family. We will cherish and preserve the tradition of fellowship, of time spent with each other, and of sharing happy memories.

We will keep the faith. We will pray for one another daily. We will commit to  care for each other’s spiritual growth and to help each other in times of spiritual difficulty. 

We will live out and protect this covenant of love by the grace of God, and continue this covenant tradition with our families forever.

I don’t know too many families who actually write down their promises to one another but isn’t this such a great idea? I praise God for the privilege of being part of this very loving and special family.  

“Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians‬ ‭3:14‬ ‭

We Need You, Hon

 With a new morning show on television (Mornings at ANC), Edric’s schedule has been more hectic than usual. He’s been very good about managing his time in the evenings and our entire household’s schedule is now revolving around his. Sometimes he’s in bed by 8:30 PM on Tuesday and Wednesday nights so he can wake up by 3:30 AM. Yep, 3:30 AM.

Originally, ABS-CBN asked him to do the show Monday to Friday morning but he requested to limit his exposure to just two days. Being on TV is not his full-time preoccupation and it would cannibalize his other commitments and kill him physically if he had to be there every morning at 4:30 AM, on top of taping for On the Money. The network graciously understood and acceded to his petition. In this regard, working for their news channel, ANC, has been a blessing. Thus far, they have respected his convictions and been considerate of his parameters.

Nevertheless, having to adjust to his two-day a week early mornings has taken a bit of a toll on his body. It has also unsettled his schedule. Unfortunately, the kids have noticed that he has been less engaged. I mentioned this to him as well. At first, he acted defensive and told me I was being reactive. But after praying for him, the very next day, he told me that he spent some meaningful time with the Lord and came to the conclusion that he must not forget his first love – JESUS. No matter what is going on in his life, he’s got to keep his sights on the bigger picture, pursuing God’s will and purposes.

So he came home yesterday afternoon with a renewed sensitivity and humility towards my suggestions and the kids’, especially after Elijah said, “Dad you’ve been busy. I feel like we don’t get as much time with you anymore. There are more important things than being on TV and stuff…” (Elijah nearly teared as he shared this. He’s our time guy so physical presence matters a lot. And he needs quantity and quality time.)

Edric felt a deep conviction to remedy this problem. Because Edric’s heart belongs to the Lord, it is turned towards the kids and me. There may be moments when he isn’t in the mood to listen to correction or happy to receive our input, especially at the end of a day packed full of activity. But the Lord faithfully ministers to Edric and eventually, he commits to improve and change. 

Last night, he took us all out for an early evening walk so he could give us his undivided attention. The kids thoroughly enjoyed it as we looked for fireflies. It must be mating season because they flocked around some of the trees in our subdivision and displayed themselves like twinkling little stars. We gazed at them for a while, appreciating their delicate beauty.

I took Edric’s hand. “I really like this…being together as a family.”

“I’m back,” he replied. Whenever he says this it means that he has gotten his spiritual compass on point.

Even though Edric is on television, interviewing financial gurus, covering light news and outfitted to look so polished and professional, I am glad that he is still, at the end of the day, the simple-hearted, Christ-following, family-loving man I married. People have asked me if I watch his show(s) but we don’t get ANC on our TV because Sky Cable refuses to hook it up to our house. According to them we are situated too far away from their “box.” I’m not sure what this means but the point is that the kids and I ONLY get the live version of Edric – in person — as a husband and father. And that’s the version we would rather have anyway. 

  He’s working hard to provide for us, which I greatly appreciate. But what blesses me more is his commitment to the right priorities. I pray he will remain this way. After all, only the Lord can make him into the man he must be. And God knows what our family needs most — not someone who pursues wealth and fame. What we need is a husband and a father who is present, engaged, and leading us towards deeper faith and intimacy in Christ.

Furthermore, the blessings of abundance and influence are from God’s hand. And a husband and father who seeks God first and aligns his pursuits behind this priority will not want for either…for himself or his family. While his earthly treasures and popularity may be different than the world’s definition of prosperity, his home will abound with the eternal, unsurpassable riches of faith. I pray Edric (and every husband and father out there) will recognize that this is what matters more. 
  “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:25-26, 32-33‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Elijah’s Review of the Asus ZenFone 2 Laser

I am not a techy person but my son, Elijah, is. He’s amazing with gadgets and programming. At twelve years old, he knows how to code websites and basic apps. He isn’t an expert yet but in time I believe he will become one if he keeps practicing. (I praise God he exercises caution when he is online and puts restrictions on the Internet to safeguard himself.)

As a 7th grader, Technology and Livelihood Education or TLE for short is one of his favorite subjects. So when I received an Asus ZenFone 2 Laser, I requested that he study it and make a review of it, something he was thrilled to do.

For a week, he toyed with the phone, analyzing its features, strengths and weaknesses. In the end, he not only reviewed the Asus ZenFone 2 Laser, he created his first-ever video review, which he also edited himself.

Personally, I feel that his review is objective and insightful. And as a homeschool project, his video was very well done! I’m thinking that he may even be able to review gadgets as a hobby! Here’s his honest take on the Asus ZenFone 2 Laser:

Stop. Look and Listen.


I don’t have enough quiet in my life, enough silence for meditation and drinking deep from the living water that is Christ.  I get so caught up in the busy-ness of being a wife, mother, homeschooler, speaker, writer, daughter, discipler, endorser, etc and etc, so that I lose the desire to pursue intimacy with the Lord. There are seasons when my life feels very public and yet I grow hollow inside because the busyness drains me spiritually. Without intentional moments set aside for reflection, I operate on autopilot, in an almost robotic way. The doings, which are good things, replace the best things, namely the appetite to seek after God.

  This morning, God ordained circumstances so that a meeting I thought I would have did not push through. And since I left the children at home with their “assignments,” I was alone, in Edric’s office when everyone (including Edric) was out. For someone who is used to children of different ages clamoring for her attention or moving about all around me, the stillness was wonderful!

Amidst all the Christmas hullabaloo that makes this favorite season one of the most stressful and crazy, I needed a pause like this one. I picked up Christopher Klicka’s book, “The Heart of Homeschooling,” and read the section his wife, Tracy, wrote on The Homeschooling Mother. She said, “I was and still am quite ordinary. I have no special talents that equip me to be a good mom, much less a supermom. All I have is God. But that is enough.”

All I have is God. All I need is God. This spoke to me loud and clear.

Being a wife and mother can be so complicated sometimes. When the checklist of things to do lengthens, I start peddling through each responsibility on my own power. And then I reach a point when I’m exhausted and physically sick. I need to remember that being a woman isn’t about what I can do and get done. The list of things to do will never end. And I will never reach that point of rested-ness if I keep chasing after that list…

On any given day, here are some of the thoughts assaulting me…

Have I prepared good, healthy meals for my husband and kids today? Did I make sure bills were paid and home repairs were completed? Did I manage the household well and check on their dynamic with one another? Did I get through at least 3 or 4 homeschooling books for each of my children? Did I spend time with my toddler and make sure she got enough attention from me? Did I write that blog entry I have been meaning to? Have I stocked the refrigerator and kitchen pantry? Did I read my Bible? Are my notes and presentation materials prepared for the speaking engagements I have this week? When am I going to Instagram that endorsement I’ve been asked to make? Did I exercise this morning? Do I have outfits for the multiple events I have to attend? When can I clean out my email account or archive photos? Whom do I need to meet with this week to counsel or minister to? Have I had one-on-one talk time with each of my kids? Who among them needs special attention this week? Am I giving Edric enough time? Have I completed the tasks he assigned to me?

These questions are maddening and they flood my head with all kinds of anxious thoughts. Very often, peace evades me until I can check off each of these items. (So this means my peace is very short-lived!) Realistically speaking, there is no REAL rest for a wife or a mom in terms of our duties. There are seasons when our duties pile up really high and other times when they are only inches deep. But they remain nonetheless.

1 Corinthians 7:34 puts it so well when it says, “The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”

So to my single readers…give the best years of your singlehood to the Lord. Marriage becomes a game-changer. The liberties you experience now are something you will never quite have again when you settled down and have kids. I’m not regretting being a married woman and mother, but my ministry has been elected for me – to serve my husband and my kids. There isn’t a day when I can say I resign. My decisions must always be filtered through the priorities of wife and mother.

To my married readers, might I encourage you to stop, look and listen. Set aside that anxiety, turn off the burners, and take a few moments right now to come to the feet of our loving, heavenly Father.

Today, I was reminded once again that there is nothing that should define me more than my relationship with God. He must be the reason I follow the Bible’s principles on marriage and parenting. He must be the reason why I homeschool and keep homeschooling my kids. He must be the reason why I speak, write, and minister to other women. He must be the source, the sustainer, and the end of everything I do.

Sometimes I mistakenly assume that to do more is to be more important, more special, more deserving of praise and attention. But Jesus corrected this perspective (which I am to prone to have as a woman) when He told Martha in Luke 10:41-42, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Mary was seated at the feet of the Lord, the God of this Universe, her Creator, listening intently to Him speak. As I fulfil my responsibilities may I never forget that what I really need is God’s presence and to receive what can never be taken away – the peace, the joy, the grace, and the rest that He gives to all who come to His feet.

Serve the Lord, Save Your Marriage 

  It’s impossible to effectively serve the Lord when your marriage isn’t okay, especially when you minister to other couples. I suppose this is one of the reasons why it’s healthy for Edric and I to be involved in counseling, couple discipleship and speaking. Having to pour our lives into the service of others keeps us on our “spiritual toes.”

A week ago, Edric and I found ourselves arguing about something petty. But it sparked a heated discussion that soured our feelings for one another. Edric made a rule about our Siamese cats that really upset me. He declared to the children and to me, “If the cats pee or poop in the house, you will be fined P1,000.” 

The kids replied, “What if we don’t have that kind of money?”

“Then your mom will pay.” He was serious.

First of all, buying these cats was Edric’s idea. Second, we had a baby cat who was not trained yet. Third, sometimes the cats randomly enter the house because they want to be near us. I really didn’t think the fine was fair to the kids or to me.

That same evening, our older Siamese, snuck indoors and marked the TV cabinet with his pee. We shooed him out and I cleaned up his mess but the kids were distraught. “Dad is going to charge us!” 

Sure enough, when Edric found out, he insisted on me paying P1,000. Annoyed, I began stating a defense for why this was a ridiculous thing to do. In my exasperation, I even cried. Edric dismissed my dramatics as, “You are probably going to get your period soon.” (Something I never appreciate him saying. Ever.)

An hour later we were scheduled to meet with a couple to minister to them. Yet there I was, tearing up and feeling very unqualified to give marital advice. And to think this was all about cat urine! My goodness!

Dutifully, Edric and I drove to the restaurant since we committed to be there. The car ride included more discussion and debating until we parked and decided this was not the condition we ought to be in before we sat down with the couple. So Edric led us in a prayer and we asked for mercy and grace from the Lord. 

We took a pause from our argument and made it through dinner. Amazingly, as I listened to the couple elaborate on their issues, the problem Edric and I had diminished in importance. Cat urine is not a problem! (Not compared to what we were hearing.) 

In fact, I developed renewed admiration for the way Edric mediated the couple’s conflict. He really did a fantastic job at sifting through the main points brought up by both sides. Furthermore, he helped them achieve resolution as husband and wife. 

At the end of the evening we also confessed to them that we were in the middle of an argument before the dinner began. By this time, our spat seemed trivial but we sought to resolve it on the drive home. In fact, I got back into our car feeling like a completely different person than when I entered it three hours earlier, irritated and combative. We apologized and asked for forgiveness from one another. Edric also retracted his rule about the cats! Thank you, Lord! 

What changed? Edric and I had to look outside of ourselves and our marriage to meet the needs of another couple. We had to ready our hearts to be a channel of God’s blessing to them. We found ourselves united by a spiritual cause. All these elements helped to heal our own relationship. 

This has happened many times before, not just for Edric and me but for other couples we know who involve themselves in ministry as a team. God does something supernatural in a husband and wife when they serve Him together. Therefore my encouragement is to find a ministry, a spiritual cause that allows you to see past your own world as a couple, as a family. 

God created us all for something much bigger than living for one another and pursuing happiness as a couple. There is a greater, deeper and more profound joy and purpose to experience as a team, as partners in the Lord. And sometimes this greater, deeper and more profound purpose of leading other couples to Christ can also save your own marriage.

How so? The spiritual responsibility of leading people to Jesus necessitates that you both seek after Him, turning the focus off each other. And the more your eyes are fixed upon Him, the more you desire to be like Him. And the more you desire to be like Him, the more you become desirable spouses for one another!

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:1-3‬ ‭NASB‬‬

When Children Doubt That Jesus is Real

Even if my kids are growing up in a home where they hear about God’s word and Edric and I try our best to role-model what it means to follow God, our children aren’t exempted from the spiritual battle for their hearts and minds.

Some weeks ago I sat down with my second son, Edan, because Elijah, my eldest, said, “Mom, Edan has doubts that Jesus is real.”

 For those who have followed Edan’s history on this blog, you might remember that Edan was about three years old when he favored the word NO and tended to be withdrawn, disinterested, and habitually “un-smiley.” Edric and I decided it was time for him to hear the gospel. When Edric shared God’s story of salvation through Jesus Christ, Edan readily acknowledged that he needed Jesus and earnestly desired to go to heaven someday. Soon after he made this decision, he changed, too.


 From Mr. No he transformed into a sweet, tender-hearted, and kind son who was thoughtful and friendly. This was the Holy Spirit’s work in his life and I marveled at how vastly different he was from his originally negative self.

When I discovered that he struggled with doubts about the personhood of Christ it surprised me but I accepted it as a reasonable response to spiritual matters. Elijah came to that point, too, and over the years I’ve encouraged him to keep digging into Scripture and examining the claims of the Bible. The last thing I want is for my kids to adopt a belief system that they do not understand. I don’t want Christianity to be cultural for them.

Statistics show that in America, most children who grow up in Christian homes (about 89%) abandon their faith by the time they reach college. Shocking, isn’t it? Why do good Christian parents fail to pass on their spiritual heritage?

Given the human-centered philosophies that pervade the present generation, the anti-God influences that saturate the media and the amoral celebrities and popular people whom our children look up to, we have to acknowledge that our kids are growing up in a spiritually-hostile world. Without a solid faith foundation and bible-based convictions, we can’t expect them to navigate through the hostility without becoming causalities.

I sat down with Edan to explain why faith in Jesus is reasonable. It took up a chunk of our homeschool morning, but as we lingered in our discussion as mother and son, I thought to myself, This is why I homeschool my kids…for moments like this one, when I have the privilege of influencing their hearts towards Christ and His plan and purpose for their lives.

Whenever my kids have faith questions, I welcome them. Questions are a good thing! During a recent retreat, a woman who was very skeptical about the Bible, made a joke about herself. She said something like this, “If I were to attend Bible studies, I may get kicked out for asking too many questions.” My response to her was, “It’s okay to have questions. God doesn’t want us to have blind faith in Him. He wants us to seek after Him.”

When I think about my children’s doubts and their desire for evidence as they grow in their understanding of God, who He is, who they are and His plan for their lives, I am glad they are asking their questions now, while they are at home, while Edric and I can lead them to the answers. Furthermore, they challenge us to review the basis of our own belief in Jesus as Lord and Savior of our own lives.

What can we know about Jesus Christ?

Jesus was a real person, a historical figure. There are many secular and non-secular evidences that confirm that Jesus Christ was an actual person. Here are some of the more notable ones:

In his Antiquities, the famous Jewish historian, Flavius Josephus, refers to James as “the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ.”

The Babylonian Talmud (Sanhedrin 43a) confirms Jesus’ crucifixion on the eve of Passover and the accusations against Christ of practicing sorcery and encouraging Jewish apostasy.

The first-century Roman Tacitus, who is considered one of the more accurate historians of the ancient world, mentioned superstitious “Christians” (from Christus, which is Latin for Christ), who suffered under Pontius Pilate during the reign of Tiberius. (Source:

Furthermore, why would Jesus’ supposed disciples die for him if his existence were a lie? Many of these martyrs suffered gruesome deaths!

“There is more evidence that Jesus of Nazareth certainly lived than for most famous figures of the ancient past” Paul L. Maier, The Russell H. Seibert Professor of Ancient History, Western Michigan University

Because Jesus was a real person, we must consider his claims, which were unlike any other made by religious teachers we know of today.

C.S. Lewis wrote, “I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.” (Mere Christianity)

Jesus claimed to be God and He said that He would die for the sins of man and be raised on the third day. It would be very easy to deny his deity if we can prove that He never rose again from the dead. However, no person who has tried to make a case against the resurrection has ever succeeded in doing so. In fact, skeptics who have attempted to disprove the resurrection (brilliant ones like the knighted Sir Lionel Luckhoo and investigative journalist, Lee Strobel) came to the conclusion that evidence supports the resurrection of Jesus Christ. So if Jesus claimed to be God and He rose again from the dead as proof, then His claim to be God was true. He is God.

“The scientific data point powerfully toward the existence of a Creator and that the historical evidence for the resurrection establishes convincingly that Jesus is divine.” Lee Strobel, Finding the Real Jesus: A Guide for Curious Christians and Skeptical Seekers.


Since Jesus is God, we can believe His other claims, such as, “I came that you might have life and might have it more abundantly,” and “I am the Way the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me,” and “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life,” We can stake our lives on His promises. We can live and die for them.

People who come to Jesus experience changed lives. I’m talking about people who are prideful, angry, lost in sin, and enslaved to destructive choices that hurt themselves and those around them. Just the other evening we were having dinner with a couple who nearly gave up on their marriage because the husband had an affair. Their marriage was in shambles but after coming to Jesus and surrendering their lives to Him, they decided to rebuild their marriage. Today they are completely different people from the persons Edric and I first met. There is peace, joy, and the desire to live a holy life. How do these miracles happen? The Bible tells us, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has passed, behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) Their story is similar to countless others who have been set free by the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Furthermore, having witnessed and heard stories about people delivered from demonic oppression in the name of Jesus gives compelling evidence that Jesus is real to the spirit world, too!

When Edan and I ended our conversation, he was in tears and we embraced each other. My children hunger for truth. They need to have an anchor that keeps them grounded when doubts flood their minds. The doubts will come. When they do, will they cling to what they know about God? Will they entertain the lies they are fed by the evil one or will they be able to counter him with truth? As my father used to tell me, “the greatest battlefield is in the mind.” My children are engaged in the same battle. It is my job and Edric’s to prepare and equip them.

 Finally, my prayer is that they will all finish well. I can’t believe for them. They must determine for themselves whether Jesus is real, and whether they can entrust their lives to Him. But it starts with Edric and me establishing our own faith convictions and teaching our children what these are. We can’t assume that they will “get it” by osmosis. There has to be intentional effort on our part to model, encourage, teach, and help them answer their faith questions.

  “A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:10 – 17


A Father’s Example of Humility

My sister, Candy, struck up a conversation with me about how our parents are crazy busy. She explained that in Sacramento, when mom and dad would visit her, they were hands on with her kids and 100% attentive to her. Naturally, since their visits to California were for the purpose of spending time with Candy and her family, they could do this.

Surprise! Just a few months into her stay in the Philippines, she discovered that mom and dad travel quite a bit and they have all kinds of conferences, ministry events, speaking engagements, and social activities that fill up their calendars. When Candy revealed that she was disappointed to discover that mom and dad didn’t have as much time to give her as she expected, I encouraged her to tell them her feelings. 

Sunday night provided the best opportunity to do so. Evenings on this day are reserved for accountability with mom and dad, family prayer time, and catching up with one another. Usually, everyone is pretty chill and relaxed on Sunday night. As we finished dinner, I told my parents that Candy had something to share with them. 

She was caught a little bit off guard, but since we are generally open with one another in our family, she proceeded to express to my parents that she missed spending time with them and that she wished they were more available. 

Edric injected his own perspective, sharing that sometimes he feels hesitant to connect with dad or seek advice from him because dad travels a lot and has multiple engagements during a week. Since Edric knows dad has a lot going on, he doesn’t want to trouble him with his concerns. Afterwards I also commented that we still look to mom and dad to mentor us. 

My parents received our comments and corrections with grace and humility, especially my dad. Dad didn’t say anything to defend himself. He just listened quietly, smiling. I am sure a part of him liked being needed by his adult kids. 

All of my siblings and I, as well as our spouses are confident in dad and mom’s love for us. We don’t have an issue with this. When we communicate that we need them, they prioritize us. But we do echo the general sentiment about their busyness. Our once a week dinners with them are supposed to be safeguarded but they aren’t always in Manila. As empty-nesters who are highly involved in ministry work and who enjoy traveling, they jet-set everywhere. They are in their sixties but they seem to have boundless energy to give to serving the Lord and others. But the fact remains that as grown up children, we still look for their wisdom and discipleship. 

 (My dad and me, eons ago)


(High school)

The great thing about my parents, especially my dad, is he is an instant action kind of guy. He reminded Edric that he is just a call or text away. And since Edric and I had to exit the family dinner early, he and my mom stepped away from the dinner table even if my siblings were still eating to walk us to our van. He did this to show that he wanted to be with us and squeeze in a few more minutes of talk-time. The next day, I found out that my dad and mom also made time for Candy, her husband, Jeff, and their kids, too.   

 I have probably said it before but I will say it again that I continue to value my parents’ desire to improve and change when they are requested to by us. It especially means a lot that my father is this way. He welcomes our correction and likes us to give him feedback about his messages, about the way he relates to others, his character, or his decisions. In short, he is a humble guy. (My mom is too but this seems to be a little more congruent with a mother’s personality than with a father’s.)

  My dad’s humility is one of the reasons why I know he is an authentic follower of Jesus. Dealing positively with rebuke is one thing. But as one who is in a position of influence, he has also had various insults and accusations hurled his way (untruthful and hurtful). Comments that would have sent me into an emotional tailspin hardly increased my dad’s blood pressure. He remained calm and still does when people attack his person. 

Furthermore, he tries his best to reach out to people who malign him or misinterpret him. Sometimes they respond positively, other times they remain hard-hearted and refuse to reconcile. Whenever unity seems unattainable, my dad keeps the door open just in case an opportunity to mend the relationship presents itself. Amazingly, some people who disliked him before are now his friends again! That is the grace of God! 

I don’t want to make boasts about my father but his example has shown me that a person who genuinely loves God will live differently, especially in the area of receiving rebuke, correction or dealing with criticism. And it’s not to my dad’s credit but to the Lord’s work in him. He isn’t perfect and he has his weaknesses, but I praise God for his heart to change and be a better man. I know that his motivations are ultimately to please God. And this is why he doesn’t need to defend himself or fight to prove he is right. He knows that it is honoring the Lord’s name with his humble responses that matters more. 

I pray to be the same way when Edric or my kids point out areas that I should change in me. I tend to react to Edric (not the kids) because I focus on his style of correcting me, namely his tone and timing of delivery. However, a grace-filled and Christ-centered person (which I ought to aspire to be) will not make a big deal out of style and use it as a smokescreen to escape saying things like, “Okay, I will change,” or “Thank you for that reminder, I should work on that,” or “Will you forgive me?” 

As I end this post, here’s an excerpt from a site that imparts a good lesson on humility:

“A former missionary told the story of two rugged mountain goats who met on a narrow mountainside pathway. On one side was a chasm 1,000 feet deep; on the other, a steep cliff rising straight up. There was no room to turn around, and the goats could not back up without falling. What would they do? Rather than fight for the right to pass, one of the goats knelt down and became as flat as possible. The other goat then walked over him, and they both proceeded safely…When Jesus left His heavenly home, He humbled Himself and paid the penalty for your sins and mine. He saw us literally trapped between our sin and God’s righteousness with no way to help ourselves — no way of escape. He came in humility and took the form of a servant (Philippians 2:5-8). Then, by dying for sinful mankind, He let us “walk over Him” so that we could experience forgiveness and receive eternal life.

Validating Your Husband’s Leadership

I have been too exhausted in the past two weeks to write anything substantial. First came the Philippine Homeschool Conference and then Counterflow 2015 which were book ends to a number of social events and other commitments that kept me away from my kids and disrupted my day job — homeschooling. 

 Ready for the World – Philippine Homeschool Conference 

Counterflow 2015 

However, I am happy to announce that this week, I can return to a semblance of normal. Things should taper off even more by mid-November. I can’t wait…the perfect way to end the year…slowing down.

During the Counterflow parenting event yesterday, I was most inspired by plenary speaker, Cassie Carsten. He spoke with conviction, passion, insight, a large amount of humor. Although he directed his talk to the fathers in the audience, there were principles for everyone to extract.

Personally, I was convicted by the concept of the first follower. In a marriage, a husband is called to lead, to initiate. But his leadership must be validated by his first follower, also known as his wife. Children pay close attention to the dynamic between dad and mom. They watch, Cassie pointed out, the EYES of mom. Do her eyes acknowledge and affirm what dad is saying? Or does she roll her eyes in irritation or glare in defiance when he speaks?

I latched on to this insight when Cassie went on to say that followers watch the response of the first follower more than the initiator. In other words, wives can undermine the leadership of a husband when they communicate to their children, even in the most subtle of gestures, that they don’t think he can lead. Furthermore, the second follower (oldest child) is supremely important to setting the pace for the subsequent followers (succeeding siblings).

 Come to think of it, I have noticed this phenomenon with my own children. If I wholeheartedly agree with Edric’s plans or opinions on a matter, my kids tend to do the same. If I question him, even with a look that says, “Seriously? That’s your idea?”, then my children get infected by my coup-like spirit.

It is my wholehearted support of Edric’s leadership that matters most among all the followers in our home. Just a few days ago, Edric talked to me about this. He asked, “Why have you been so contradictory lately?” 

My version of this was different. Perhaps I had been more “opinionated” but not necessarily contradictory. However, he named several occasions when I flat out disagreed with his ideas with a tone that was condescending. And it bothered him even more when I challenged him by commenting, “So do you want a wife that is a yes-woman? Someone who always agrees with everything you say and do? I am not that kind of woman.” 

Truthfully, this statement came out of a heart that was boiling with pride, because the correction about being contradictory wasn’t about me not being able to present my perspective or opinions. But this was the angle I pursued to win this verbal jousting so that I wouldn’t be cornered about the real issue — disrespect. Annoyed, Edric claimed that I was missing the point and going all lawyer on him, which is his way of saying I was about to dissect his every word and look for holes in his hypothesis. 

I may not have intended to be contradictory but I had been on edge, emotionally, for the past two weeks. Multiple speaking engagements triggered my nervous system and I found it difficult to relax. So I mouthed out all kinds of things without filtering them as carefully as I should have. At the end of the day, however, it was simply a matter of disrespect for Edric. He didn’t appreciate my tone of voice or reflex responses that seemed critical towards him. 

Thankfully, we settled this conflict with sincere apologies, but God had a more personal message for me. 
It came delivered by Cassie Carstens, when he highlighted how important the eyes of a wife are — the way she looks upon her husband and acknowledges him. 

As I sat in the audience yesterday, listening to him speak, the rebuke that convicted me was this: Joy, you need to improve in the area of respecting Edric. You may think you are submissive, good, and respectful as a wife but deep inside you have not fully embraced your role to validate Edric’s leadership. You still like to prove that you are right, wiser and better which stems from conceit, insecurity and self-centeredness.

 Aaaaaahhhh. It’s true! It’s true! As God’s Word declares, “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.” Mark‬ ‭7:21-23‬ ‭
I also spoke at Counterflow yesterday on motherhood. Furthermore the entire event was for parents. But God intended for me to reflect on my marriage. Edric and I, by His grace alone, have a wonderful relationship. However there are hidden crevices in my heart where character flaws reside and these emerge when Edric and I have conflicts. Sometimes these flaws actually start the conflicts. So I was grateful for yesterday, to uncover the parts in me that God must still redeem. 
There is always room to grow and improve as an individual. Sometimes it takes a guest speaker from South Africa to be God’s messenger of truth to reveal these areas of improvement. But the point is to keep seeking and learning about what it means to be a better spouse or a better parent. 

For those who missed Cassie’s talks at Counterflow yesterday, he will have a series of events Tuesday to Thursday. He is one of the best speakers I have ever listened to and I don’t want to miss this opportunity to invite anyone (especially dads) who can carve out time to hear him speak. You will be changed…for the better! 

Good news! CCF will be offering the workshops at a hugely discounted price of just P50!!! (For three days!)

Just Married…Again

In a day and age where people spend a ridiculous amount of money to pay for the wedding “of their dreams,” I’m dedicating this post to all the singles and engaged couples out there who are planning their future weddings. Please, please, please, make your wedding about the marriage you are going to have and not about having a picture-perfect ceremony and reception. You don’t need to spend a lot to make your wedding meaningful and special.

Today many couples borrow money in order to afford a glamorous wedding. How sad it is that weddings have become a business and a production. I’m not trying to make people feel guilty. I have good friends in the wedding industry and I love them dearly. My appeal is to consider the why, the motivation behind the costliness of a wedding. 

Last night I attended a beautiful event, a DIY occasion put together by family and friends for a couple who decided to have a ceremonial wedding on their 15 year anniversary. Although they were married civilly, the husband, Blue, decided it was time to gift his wife, Emily, with a we’re-getting-married-today kind of present on their anniversary. For one month, family and friends conspired and connived to orchestrate and execute the details of this secret wedding. Emily didn’t know anything.

Blue broke the news to her yesterday morning so she had half a day to prepare herself. In the meantime a number of us were at the venue setting up for the beach themed wedding amidst the blustering winds of a super typhoon. I ended up in bare feet on the muddy grass, which brought me back to childhood memories of dirty toenails from outdoor adventures without my shoes on. 



 For a while it was the gusty winds we had to contend with but then the rained poured relentlessly at 3:30 PM, just an hour before Emily was about to arrive! We had to move the ceremony indoors at the last minute. But thanks to my favorite caterer, Passion Cooks, the reception area already looked amazing!

Everyone was in good spirits. There were no cranky or hustling organizers.  People volunteered to lift flower arrangements, backdrops, fabric, lanterns, candle sticks, candle holders, signs, and tables into the reception venue. Instantaneously an aisle appeared lined with 1 Corinthians 13 verses on love, softened with rose petals leading to the beach-themed stage where vows would be spoken. 


 We had some guy friends running about in the rain finding creative ways to hang paper lanterns, too. 



 Most of the guests were bible study friends and old classmates. With just sixty people, the evening affair was personal and intimate. There were only three sets of ninongs and ninangs, not chosen for their wealth or social status but hand-picked because of the spiritual relationship they had with Blue and Emily. Edric and I were one of them (what an honor for us). Blue and Emily’s children served as the rest of the entourage.


 I loved the simplicity of this wedding. How refreshing from the elaborate and huge ones I have attended in recent years.  More importantly, God was glorified as the couple honored their parents and declared their vows to one another. Several friends also shared how they have been blessed by the marriage of Blue and Emily. Blue and Emily came from a very dark place in their relationship when they were a younger couple but they chose to seek after God, who healed what was broken and continues to redeem them for His glorious purposes.
 As I sat at our table listening to several versions of friend’s stories about Blue and Emily, there was no doubting that their marriage is being used mightily today to encourage and strengthen other couples to make God the center of their relationships.

A homemade sign on the backdrop read, “Just married…again.”



(Wood cross by The Carpenter)

 It’s one thing to get married for the first time and another thing to choose to marry the same person all over again. Somehow saying “I do” after you have lived through the difficult realities of marriage is sweeter, more romantic, and a more powerful testament of authentic love.  Love is a choice to say I do everyday and forever no matter what. This occasion celebrated the history of a marriage saved by the grace of God, for the glory of God!  

When a wedding is planned to exalt God as the motivation, God becomes the sovereign organizer and magnanimous provider of an event that is simply divine! This was one of my favorite weddings of all time!

On a thread among friends Emily wrote, “Good morning ladies! My heart is full. Thank you all for helping out during the past weeks to put together our wedding. As Blue shared with me last night what went on behind the scenes, tears started coming. The wedding last night was more than me and Blue. It was also all about you, about us. How you guys really really wanted to make this special, so you just gave and gave. I know you have a separate chatroom (I’m a bit jealous that I am not part of it, he he). You sacrificed your time, efforts, money, peace.. Sanity? Lol! Even taking time away from your family. I know you were happy to do it. My brother in law told Blue later on that he just couldn’t believe his eyes. Even though everyone was dressed and had makeup on, you guys were doing something. Carrying, moving, running, placing. He said “Hanep mga kaibigan nyo Blue. Lahat sila, lahat.” I did not see all this, but God did and I am sure He was smiling. I know that you all care for me. 2Cor 9:8 says “God grants us blessings so we have an abundance for every good deed.” God has blessed you in each unique way and you shared a part of that with us last night. And everyone saw that. People saw something amazing, something wonderful… It all pointed to Jesus. We got a lot of texts… Those who wanted to talk because they had problems, those who said they want to grow and deepen their relationship with Christ, those who saw that in Christ there is a family that transcends this world and comes together when we need each other the most. I want all the details when we meet Thank you to you all. We love you. We love you!”

And that, my friends, is what a REAL wedding should be about…exalting Jesus Christ!

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:22-32‬ ‭

Congratulations Blue and Emily and the team of family and friends who lovingly and sacrificially came together with one heart to make this event a success!  



And thank you to Passion Cooks for your creative styling and delicious food! 

Outdoor area by family and friends…






Indoor reception area by Passion Cooks…    


 Our couple’s bible study group…  

Cake by Andi Benitez…


The “organizers” with Emily…


The Guardians

  I was late to pick up Tiana from her ballet class but Elijah, my eldest, came to her rescue. We intersected paths as I walked towards the elevators of our church building from the cafe, where I was hanging out with my sister-in-law. Elijah informed me that he waited for Tiana to end her class then brought her up to the floor where he and my other boys had their violin lessons.

He didn’t have to do this. I usually stay and attend to her. But today, I decided she needed to mature in the area of independence, so I found a comfortable spot in the building to pass the hour and a half while she danced with her cousin and friends.

Elijah’s thoughtfulness and protectiveness was a pleasant surprise. On his own initiative, he trekked down to the floor where the dance studio was at, peeked through the glass window on its door to see if Tiana was alright, and collected her afterwards.

I told him I was so proud of him and he replied, “I am her guardian, mom. I am supposed to look out for her. She’s my sister. Dad told me to.”

He really is a wonderful older brother to all my kids. But this gesture, in particular, blessed me. We need more gentlemen in this world, and I am not saying that my son or sons exemplify noble character like this all the time. However, I truly appreciate that my husband, Edric, has purposefully taught our boys to mind their manners, consider the needs of others before their own, and protect their sisters (and me).
 For example, there have been many occasions when my sons will volunteer to come with me to the grocery, not because they like going, but because they refuse to let me go alone. They often insist on protecting me, declaring, “I will guard you, mom.”

Picture these young boys thinking their presence will thwart a thief or malicious person if they are by my side. Obviously I would have more success fighting for myself than they would for me, but it’s the heroism behind their offer to come along that I find so admirable.

How can Edric and I keep encouraging our sons to be honorable? Sometimes I wonder if they will stay noble in heart, innocent and tender hearted, valiant and courageous to stand for what is right and pleasing to God. I have fears as a mom…thoughts like, what if they change because they are influenced by peers, media, and the lies the evil one puts into their heads? What if life’s disappointments chisel away at their zeal for holiness and righteousness?

It’s humbling and frightening to know that Edric and I aren’t enough to safeguard our sons from the environment of a fallen world. No matter how hard we try and how intentional we strive to be, they aren’t immune to corruption. God has to be the one to hold them in His hands and preserve their virtuousness. He has to be the one to grow the seeds of character Edric and I have planted in their hearts. Praise be to God for His faithfulness. As Psalms 103:17-18 reads, “But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them.” 

In the meantime, I am cherishing who my children are now, especially their love for God, for us, and for one another. These are a mother’s greatest joys. I am also thankful for the privilege of raising boys who strive to be “guardians” for their younger sisters and me. This is a bonus. 

I pray they remain this way and excel all the more as God continues to prepare them to become the men He wants them to be. In the end, may they grow up to be more and more like Christ and manifest the goodness that comes from Him.

Allow me to quote what Edan, my second son, has shared in front of audiences in the past: “I want to be a gentleman because Jesus was a gentleman. He was kind to ladies and looked out for the needs of others.” Yes, indeed, my son!