Housing 12 Kids

Over the past two weeks, we have temporarily adopted my siblings’ children. My brother lost his brother in law to a tragic accident so he left the kids with us as he and my sister-in-law attended the wake services and funeral in Seattle. And then my other nephews and niece wanted in on the fun so they stayed with us, too.

From the 12 kids we housed at one point, we are now down to just 7. It’s been a crazy week, but a grace-filled one, too.

There were a few instances when one or two of my nephews and nieces acted up. One of them bit and clawed at our househelp. I know. Not good at all. Another one outrightly rebelled against Edric in front of the other kids. Edric and I dealt with these matters…primarily by talking to my siblings who could do something about their own children. And they did, which was greatly appreciated.

During one occasion, I did have say to one of the little boys, “You are in our house and you will follow our rules which means you will obey. If you don’t, you don’t get to stay.” I had to lay down the “law,” and he didn’t hate me for it. He knew I meant business and respected that. Children appreciate boundaries. Plus, being banished from a house full of cousins was the last thing he wanted. 

Apart from these minor attitude issues, and some unprecedented events and circumstances…like one of my nieces coming over with a head full of lice, and all the kids getting intestinal flu, by God’s grace, Edric and I survived and we are still surviving more children in our house! 

I have come to realize that it’s not the number of children that are a burden. (Okay, groceries can get expensive but praise God for His provision.) What makes the biggest difference is obedience and respect! 

Because MOST of my nephews and nieces are obedient and respectful they haven’t given us heartache these past two weeks. In fact, I can honestly say that having all of them over has been a delight! I experienced first hand how true the Bible is when it reads, “Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.” (Proverbs 29:17)

So I applaud the efforts of parents all over the world, including my siblings, who are deliberate and give their best effort to training their children. Even if no child is perfect 100% of the time, a child who has the heart to be obedient and respectful is a wonderful blessing to everyone! 

Some highlights of the past two weeks:
Edric getting the kids to recite their memory verse… 
Homeschooling together…  
Outdoor fun… 


Evening playtime… 

Some physical labor…    


Movie time… 


    Tiana having more girls to play with…

  Visiting my friend’s farm… 


Let’s see how this next week goes! 

Counterflow Conference 2015: Return of the Superdad, the Rise of the Supermom and Raising Superkids

What does it take to be a Superdad or a Supermom? Discover the principles of being the Superparent God has called you to be, to parent the Superkids He has entrusted to you!

Come to Counterflow 2015 on Saturday, October 24 — the biggest parenting conference in the Philippines that brings together amazing speakers and relevant workshops for a day of “parent-schooling” at CCF, Tiendesitas.

No one goes to school to learn to be a parent. Unfortunately, many of us tackle the challenges of our role as the issues surface, and some of the issues feel tidal in nature. Alot of times we attempt to solve these challenges with worldly philosophies, what feels right, or how our parents parented us. Maybe a good number of us are humble enough to admit that we feel pretty lost at times or intimidated by the responsibility.

The reality is parenting requires supernatural wisdom and help. Whether we are a soon-to-be-parent, newbie parent, oldie parent, grandparent, single parent or want-to-be parent, Counterflow will give us the foundation for successful parenting and insights for dealing with specific concerns like special needs children, adoption, demonic influence in the home, recovery for addiction or abuse, computer gaming, and other topics.

Counterflow 2015 will emphasize the role of fathers as servant-leaders of the family. Plenary speaker, Cassie Carstens, is an international speaker, President of International Sport Leadership School and Founder of the movement The World Needs A Father which originated in Africa. He is also author of the book and trainer’s guide, The World Needs A Father. “TWNAF came into being in February 2011 and is primarily focused on helping fathers provide proper leadership to their families, to restore fathers to their God-given place as servant-leaders of their families, and on preparing boys and young men to become good fathers.”(Source: http://www.theworldneedsafather.com)

Other plenary speakers are…

Peter & Deonna Tan-Chi – Peter is Founder and President of Christ’s Commission Foundation, Inc. (CCF) and Senior Pastor of Christ’s Commission Fellowship. He is also Chairman of Asiatic Development Corporation and Basic Housing Solutions, Inc. He and his wife, Deonna are international speakers and family life counselors. They are parents to 5 children and grandparents to 15. (In case you don’t already know this, they are my parents.)

Edric & Joy Mendoza – Edric is the lead anchor of ANC’s On the Money. He is also a Public Speaker, and President of TMA Homeschool. Joy (that’s me!) is a homeschooling mom to five kids, blogger of teachwithjoy.com, speaker, and author of the book, When A Good God Allows Rape. (It’s so nice to be able to say I’m an author now! Yeah! Praise God!)

The event will be hosted by the insanely famous couple, Doug and Cheska Kramer. There will also be 20 wonderful speakers and workshops to attend as well.

Counterflow2015_Flyer_Front_WEB Counterflow2015_Flyer_InsideRight_WEB Counterflow2015_Flyer_Back_WEB



Tickets* are available at CCF Center. For more information, you can visit the official website of Counterflow: http://counterflowconference.com

*This is a non-profit event. None of the speakers charge for their talks or workshops. All proceeds go to ministry.




Respect Your Husband, Respect Your Wife

 When I was newly married, my struggle was how to respect my husband. (Okay, sometimes it still is!) I believed that I had married the man of my dreams (he still is) but in marriage, I began to see his flaws (he also saw mine!) I didn’t like it when he would get irritated easily or criticize me. So I retaliated by challenging his leadership. Having seen the chink in his armor, I began to question his capacity to lead me.

This spilled over into everything. When he would make decisions, I would contradict him. When he was driving I would say things like, “Do you know where you are going?” In short, I made him feel like he was inadequate. I aggravated him further by nagging and pressuring him to be a spiritual leader. Some of my comments would be like this: “Are you even reading your Bible? How can you grow if you don’t read your Bible?”

In Proverbs 25:24 it says, “It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”  I often instigated the strife in our relationship. I was that contentious woman!

My disrespect towards Edric only pushed him away emotionally and spiritually. He didn’t feel inspired to love me. God had to teach me to look at my own life and work on the areas I needed to change. He prompted me to pray for Edric instead of attempting to transform him with my cutting words. Firthermore, God convicted me to use statements that would build up and not tear Edric down.

A couple who was married for many years was interviewed about the secret to their marriage and this is what they revealed: They kept a list of traits they appreciated about one another on their bathroom mirror. This list reminded them to be thankful for each other everyday and to focus on the positive.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs‬ ‭18:21)‬ ‭

Words are powerful…the ones we think of and speak forth. As a woman, I often erred with my words. So this was an area I knew I had to change in to be more respectful towards Edric. Instead of zoning in on the negative, I elected to be attentive to the positive. For example, one time, when Edric opened my door, I said, “Wow I really appreciate it when you do that. It makes me feel important and it makes me feel very attracted to you.”

He perked up and his face lit up. “Really?” He replied with a smile as he puffed up like a peacock then filed that compliment for future reference. This was probably 12 years ago and he still remembers! Men are simple. They respond to affirmation and appreciation. “Of all the people in the world,” Edric once told me, “You have the greatest capacity to wound me and hurt me, because of all the people in the world, it is your perspective of me that matters most.” Every man longs to be honored and held in high regard, especially by his wife.

Some women have argued that men have such tender egos and that’s the problem. But instead of getting annoyed about how sensitive they can be to our disrespect, let’s think about the positive affect our words of praise can have on their sense of self-worth!

Another way we can respect our husbands is to put energy into our sex lives, to respond to them sexually, and to initiate interest in being intimate with them. I have said this before but o recently came across a book where author Barbara Rainey said, “Something magical happens in a man’s spirit when he knows his wife desires him. When you desire to be intimate with your husband he is able to take on the world because he knows he matters to the most important person in his life.” When Edric and I have meaningful intimacy, he announces, “This is going to be a great day!”

I asked Edric some time ago “how often is often enough for you?” And he told me he can’t last longer than three days. What did he mean by this? After three days without sex he starts noticing everything that resembles the female body. It’s hard for him to stay pure in heart and mind. So it’s part of my responsibility to meet this need with joy and not selfishness.

The other day a friend of mine proudly announced, “I have been having sex with my husband every night for the past week!” Naturally, I wanted to know if this had a profound effect on her marriage, to which she revealed, “My husband was so happy he took me kitchen shopping and didn’t complain the entire time!” She also confessed that she had been neglectful of her husband’s sexual needs in the past. Did she have sex with her husband in order to go kitchen shopping? Of course not. But her responsiveness and willingness to meet this need blessed her husband so much he cheerfully brought her to do something he would have otherwise hated to. Kitchen shopping?!

As a wife, it’s also part of my responsibility to put effort into looking my best for Edric. I have to take anti-gravity measures like exercise to fight the effects of age on my weight and I have to be more discriminating about the food I eat (except for butter. He he) Honestly, keeping a healthy weight is not something I do just for Edric. I also want to take care of my body because it’s the right thing to do. The bonus benefit is that Edric appreciates it when I take care of myself. 

Here’s my little bit of advice…keep an outfit from your first year of marriage and use that as your body weight goal. We all had our womanly form by then so it’s an achievable standard.

I keep one pair of pants from college and push myself to fit back into them after each baby. This last pregnancy has taken me longer. I am one size away from it and it’s taking forever! (Maybe I should remove the butter!)

What about Edric’s version of respect for me? I know that the Bible specifically tells wives to respect their husbands, but sometimes to love a wife as God instructs a husband to also involves respecting her.

For example, Edric guards what he watches and what he listens to. If he isn’t careful and lets his eyes wander or programs his preferences with the smut that porn is made of, I am sure it would be very disappointing for him to see me naked. And I wouldn’t want to be naked around him! It would make me feel vastly inadequate to meet the impossible standard of the porn-peg.

Instead, Edric “honors our marriage bed” as the Bible calls him to, and he honors God by choosing to be holy. In the process, he honors me as his wife by directing his eyes towards me and conditioning his sexual appetite to desire me. In turn, this makes me feel safe and secure with him. It makes me want to give myself to him physically because my heart (and my body) trust him. 

Another way that Edric shows me respect is by treating me like a lady. He protects me, gives me preferential treatment and is attentive to my needs. When I am carrying a heavy bag, he offers to bear its burden. When I am crossing the street he ushers me to the safe side. When I get in and out of the car, he has made it a habit to hold the door open for me. When I sit down and stand up from a table, he USUALLY gets up to pull my seat out. Through these small gestures, he ascribes worth to me as a woman.

At home, Edric also instructs our children to speak to me politely and he is quick to correct them when they forget to. He elevates my position in their eyes so they are careful with their tone and language when they interact with me. But I believe he exemplifies this first by modeling it in the way he communicates and converses with me. There have been occasions when he has humbly said, “Kids, will you forgive me for speaking to your mom that way? I need to be more gentle with my words.”

Before it looks like Edric and I have a picture-perfect relationship this isn’t the case at all. And if you have been following this blog you would know this already! Our marriage is a continual work in progress and we have many things to improve on, but by God’s grace every year that passes is the better year for our marriage as we keep Christ at the center of our relationship. And keeping Christ at the center challenges us to apply principles like respecting and honoring one another.
In conclusion, the Bible tells us, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.” (Romans‬ ‭12:9-10‬)

How can we honor our spouse today? Perhaps by speaking a word of encouragement? Rearranging our schedule so we can prioritize them? Committing to purity? Using a tone of voice that is kind and gentle? Speaking highly of them in public? Thinking about the traits we appreciate? Being attentive to their needs? 

And if we feel like our spouse may not deserve respect, here’s  something to think about it… 

Christ died for us when we didn’t deserve it! He considered us worthy of His sacrifice and love. Let His character and example inspire us to do the same for others, especially our spouses. 

Free Tickets to The Amazing Bubbleman!

The kids and I watched the Bubbleman Show with their cousins and other relatives yesterday and they loved it! Catalina was entertained the entire time!  

As a gift to my readers, I am giving away two tickets (worth 2k+ each) to the Amazing Bubbleman show this Saturday, 11 AM, to the first person to write a comment to the question: What is your favorite bubble memory?

Go, go, go!  

Philippine Homeschool Conference 2015: Ready For the World!

Every homeschooling parent needs to recharge and revisit the commitment they have made to educate their children at home. Because we are in the trenches of teaching our children it’s difficult to see the bigger picture. Where are we headed? What is the goal? How do we navigate through the daily challenges without getting lost or discouraged?

Sometimes the best way to regroup is to take a pause from the homeschool teaching in order to be taught for a change! We need spiritual, emotional and intellectual feeding ourselves. The great teacher Howard Hendricks said, “The philosophy that you as a teacher should embrace is that you are a learner. Would you rather have your students drink from an overflowing living stream or a stagnant pool? What have you learned lately?” (Seven Laws of the Teacher)

As homeschooling parents, we need encouragement and fresh ideas, to correct our approaches and perspectives, or revisit the fundamentals that have gotten buried under our doings. Maybe we need to stop doing or start doing something. And of course, we always need more materials, books, resources, and curriculum. But, most of all, we need spiritual reviving from the Lord, and connectedness to other homeschoolers. In short, what we need is a homeschool conference that puts all these elements together for us!

This October 17, Homeschool Association of the Philippine IslandsManila Workshops and The Learning Basket bring you the largest homeschooling conference this year – “The Philippine Homeschool Conference 2015: Ready for the World!”

As a precursor to the “Global Home Education Conference” (GHEC) in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in March 2016, two well-respected homeschool advocates and speakers from the United States will be gracing the event as keynote speakers: Michael Donnelly, Director for Global Outreach of the Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) and Secretary of GHEC 2016, and Rachael Carman, mother of seven and best-selling author and publisher of popular homeschool curriculum Apologia. Rachael’s husband, Davis, the President of Apologia, will be speaking as well.

Other speakers include Edric Mendoza (Homeschool advocate and host of ANC’s On the Money) who is my wonderful, and motivational speaker and wealth coach, Chinkee Tan.

Homeschoolers and those exploring this educational option will be inspired, informed and empowered in this biggest homeschooling event. Definitely bigger than the past years’ homeschool conferences, “Ready for the World!” will be held at THREE venues at SM Aura Premiere. Keynote talks will be held at the Samsung Hall, while smaller workshops and the much awaited homeschool expo will be at the SMX Convention Center.

An All Access Pass (pass to go in and out of all three venues, including the exposition venue) is at Php 1000 per person for the early bird rate. Aside from the inspiring talks, there will be a huge expo of the various learning providers, educational tools, toys, books, etc. that will help homeschooling parents and aspiring homeschooling parents in their daily lives. This expo will be open to the public for a minimal amount of Php 100 per head, but this fee is already included in the All Access Pass.


Homeschool Association of the Philippine Islands (HAPI), a non-stock, non-profit advocacy of Filipino homeschoolers, together with Manila Workshops, a company dedicated to continuing education for professional and personal goals, and The Learning Basket, an advocacy that inspires parents to be their children’s first and best teacher, offers an event jam-packed with information and inspiration about homeschooling that will help parents get their kids ready for the world.

To register, please visit: Manila Workshops

For inquiries, please contact: manilaworkshops@gmail.com

Visit http://facebook.com/manilaworkshops or Instagram @manilaworkshops for updates and info.


When A Husband Nourishes His Wife

It’s rare that Edric plays a support role along side me. Usually it’s the other way around. However, these past two weeks he has blocked off his schedule for every event relating to the launch of my book — the contract signing, digital book press event, and the book signing this Sunday. Because I know he is an incredibly busy person, his commitment to see this project through with me has meant a lot. 






 Last night, during the digital book press event, he took pictures, tailed me everywhere like a PA, held my things, and waited patiently as I signed books. Since he’s a TV host, it’s more common that people recognize him and give him attention, but he was content to serve me and remain in the background. It was very sweet of him.

What most people do not know is that Edric ought to get a whole lot of credit for unleashing my love for writing. Some years ago, when I stopped reporting to an office, I became a stay at home mom so I could prioritize our children and homeschool them without having to juggle a part time job. Edric gladly took it upon himself to be the provider so my energy could be directed towards our children, homeschooling and our home. This liberated me to pursue hobbies, interests and skills that I wanted to. It was wonderful to be freed from the pressure of making money to augment our financial needs. 

Since Edric knew I deeply enjoyed writing, he pushed me to use this ability purposefully. He was the one who challenged me to get my blog started. He made sure I had every resource available to me to set up TeachwithJoy and keep it going. 

When he found out that I was putting together a book, he was thrilled and encouraged me in every way he could. In fact, he was willing to fund the publishing himself but God opened the door to connect with OMF Literature which turned out to be the better path to take.

In Ephesians 5:28-29 it says, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,”‭‭

The word “nourish” means to “grow” and I want to honor Edric for being intentional about helping me to grow as a person. While I embrace my daily preoccupation as a stay-at-home mom and there’s nothing boring or diminishing about it, Edric continues to provide me with opportunities to develop my passions, interests and skills. I know other women whose husbands do the same and they are blooming, fulfilled, and energized wives. 

I deeply enjoy being a wife and mom and if that’s what I was called to entirely focused on then I trust that God would make my heart and bands content, but there are revelations that come from both these roles that naturally lead to other avenues — writing about my adventures, speaking to younger women about being a wife and mother, enhancing my home management skills or having hobbies that beautify the home, connecting with and learning from other women, working hard to stay fit and healthy so I can take care of my family, and having outlets to deal with the realistic stress of raising kids, and so much more! For as long as these do not compromise my priorities of husband, kids, homeschooling and home, Edric wholeheartedly supports my desire to keep growing as a person in this season of my life. 

Furthermore, he identifies areas of character weakness in me so he can also disciple me as my spiritual leader and he prays for me, too. Whether it is emotional, physical, intellectual, or spiritual growth, he is the one person most committed to making sure that I don’t stagnate as an individual. 

Sometimes it is in the small ways…The other day he made me join him and the kids during their Ninja Academy trial session. We had to do Parkour moves which left me immensely sore the next day. (Me?! Doing Parkour?! Whuuut?!) And Edric challenged me to jump off the “pride wall”, one of the obstacles that I refused to do at first because I am afraid of heights. 



It really wasn’t super high and four of my kids did it, including Edric who jumped off the wall first. But for me, anything higher than 10 feet feels like a building. Afterwards I felt a real sense of accomplishment for pushing myself physically. Jumping over walls and running up them…it’s really not me, but Edric got me to do it! 

So I praise God for my husband, who nourishes me as his wife. I know there are times when he wants me all to himself like Rapunzel in a tower, but at the end of the day, he has my best interests at heart and wants me to be all that I can be for the Lord, which makes me into a better wife and mother in the end! So we both win when Edric fulfills his role to help me grow! 

My Response Is My Responsibility

My sweet son, Titus, did it again, in the way only his mind would have thought to do. He acted upon his God-given curiosity and put a coin inside his violin right before he was about to perform for a recital.

A few minutes prior to
his turn, he came down the aisle to my seat in the back and whispered, “Mom, I did something. I accidentally dropped a coin into my violin.”

My first thought was, You’ve got to be kidding me! Right now?! You do this?! What if it affects the sound of your violin when you perform?

Yet, how could I be upset at him? I looked at him as he bit his lower lip in anticipation of my response. I knew he didn’t mean to jeopardize his entire performance by getting the coin stuck inside his violin. And scolding him for his carelessness would not help his performance.

My sister stepped outside the room and attempted to shake it out. After several vigorous attempts, she resigned and returned the violin to Titus.

“It’s okay, hon,” I reassured Titus. “You can play with the coin inside.”

And that’s exactly what he did. When he got up on stage and lifted up his violin, I heard the coin travel to the base of his violin where it stayed during his piece. Thankfully, the coin didnt get in the way of his performance. However, the coin will live in his violin forever.

As I watched Titus get through his song, I thought about how much I love him…everything about him. Like all my other children, he has aspects of his personality that stress me out sometimes, but he is uniquely designed and gifted by the Lord.He is so often a reminder to me that I cannot control my children, too. They make choices and mistakes that can be frustrating but my job is to respond in God-honoring ways.

Yesterday I was speaking to a friend who lost her temper with her son as she homeschooled him. She lashed out at him when he met her attempts to teach him with resistance and disinterest. So she took his book and tore it up and when he began to cry, she plugged his mouth with a pillow in her irritation. When she realized the emotional hurt she caused her son, she asked for his forgiveness.

When she came to me for advice, she was deeply troubled about her display of anger, and she felt unqualified to be a homeschooling mother and a mom. We talked for a while about practical ways to take the frustration out of her homeschooling which had to do with curriculum choices and methods of instruction. I also encouraged her by sharing some of my own struggles when I teach my kids. However, the more important conclusion was that being a mom (a homeschooling one or otherwise) requires us to be directed, filled, and empowered by the Holy Spirit. As adorable and lovable as my children are, they are going to make choices that reveal their folly of heart. And the solution is not to battle the outward behavior but to address what’s going on inside and then respond to the behavior in a Spirit-filled manner.

My friend’s confession to me wasn’t a unique one. I have heard other moms tell me similar accounts. Whether they homeschool or not isn’t the commonality. Instead it is the desire to control their children and force them into compliance and obedience. And a lot of times the default reaction is to get angry.

The Bible tells us, “the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God,” which is a great principle to remember when we are tempted to lose our temper in front of our children. Our anger will not make them righteous, and it won’t make us righteous either. We may think it will produce RIGHT behavior from them but it doesn’t transform them for the better on the inside.‭

Here are the suggestions I gave to my friend that have helped me when I am instructing my children, especially my OLDER ones.

1. Identify the root of the behavior. Whether it is a bad attitude, defiance, carelessness or irresponsibility, ask the why question. Why are they acting this way?

– Are they affected by my own negativity?
– Do they feel pressured to perform?
– Am I rushing through the material or their work?
– Is the skill level required of them greater than their capacity?
– Is it a character issue — laziness, lack of discipline, a sense of entitlement, or a deeper emotional or spiritual concern?
– Was the undesirable circumstance a result of an accident versus malicious intent?

2. Respond with wisdom.
– My child may need some time to pray and reflect about their attitude before continuing with their work.
– I may need to humbly apologize for my own shortcomings — my teaching style, tone or actions.
– My child may need his work to be broken down into easier steps so he can build confidence in the skill required of him.
– I may need to change my methodology or the material so it’s more engaging for my child.
– I may need to spend one-on-one moments with my child where we can bond and fellowship outside the context of instruction, where we can get to know one another better so that my child feels secure in my love for him.
– Dad may need to help with the emotional and spiritual aspect.
– A family devotion at night may help to instill or reinforce Christ-like character.
– More time with dad may help to fill my child’s emotional tank.
– Perhaps my child does not have a personal relationship with Jesus and I need to share the gospel with him.

3. Cradle instruction with positive words and actions.
– Tell my child that I appreciate them and enjoy being with them.
– Give them healthy praise.
– Call out instances when they put in the effort and try their best.
– Be affectionate with them.
– Challenge them appropriately and reward them appropriately so they are motivated to do their best.

4. Create an environment and systems that are conducive to instruction and learning.
– Organize and plan out my homeschool room.
– Prepare or think through lessons ahead of time so I am not fumbling through my instruction.
– Have a schedule that is reasonable, predictable and visible.
– Safeguard my homeschooling time so I am focused enough to give my kids all the attention they need.

Here’s a copy of my kids’ schedules for them to refer to and check off (and yes, each one is laminated).  
5. Pray for my kids.

As a mom, I have to remember that my response is my responsibility. It is my choice to be Spirit-led or to get mad when challenges and obstacles arise in my homeschooling or parenting. A bad learning day can turn into a great one when I reject the anger or disappointment and replace it with God-honoring responses. And a good learning day can turn into a horrible one when I focus on the negative and lose sight of the goal of raising my children to love God with all that they are.

 My job is not to force or manipulate my kids to learn or behave perfectly but to do my best to…

…make them feel loved and secure

…equip and enable them to develop their talents, and abilities

…teach them the skills they need to be successful and make a difference for Christ

…apply discipline when their character needs shaping

…pass on biblical truth to guide their choices

…model Christ-like attitudes and behaviors for them to copy

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭15:1‬ ‭

“A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.” ‭Proverbs‬ ‭19:11‬ 

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭

(He actually got the coin out tonight! A miracle!)

A Strong Man Needs A Strong Woman

My father was a temperate man, not the kind of person who was very affected by emotional swings. So it was challenging to be married to a man who could switch between extremely excited and extremely frustrated from one moment to another, depending on the circumstance or trigger. 

  As Edric grew in his understanding of what it means to be controlled by the Holy Spirit, he changed. He was less moody, less irritable, and more conscious of how his reactions affected those around him, especially the kids as me. This was the Lord’s work in his life. 

However, I had a listening problem. Because I didn’t grow up in a family that “coddled” emotions like anger, irritation, disappointment, and the like, I tended to be less tolerant when Edric exhibited any of these things to whatever degree. My perspective was (and sometimes still is), get over it. That’s not a correct feeling. You can choose to be spirit-filled. This insensitivity would get me into trouble with Edric because he felt like I disrespected him when I made statements like, “Why are you feeling that way? You shouldn’t feel that way.” It sounded a lot like I was putting him down when I spoke those words and this hurts his feelings. 

Thankfully, God worked in my heart, too. I learned to listen to him when he was being vulnerable and to encourage him. However, this past week, I reverted to my old ways. 

It must have been a Monday or Tuesday afternoon when he plopped himself on to the bed beside me and randomly asked, “Do you think God loves me?” 

This question was an invitation into meaningful dialogue but I took it like this…Whoa. He just preached a sermon that highlighted the love of God and he is asking this question? 

He started to say something like, “I haven’t been experiencing any wins lately,” explaining that he was discouraged with work, with people, with ministry, with finances, etc. 

Instead of drawing him out with questions like, “Oh really, why do think that is?,” I went straight to, “Are you really asking if God loves you? Why would you even ask that? You just preached about God’s love!” (Not a good start to open communication.)

Since my words and tone had already delivered the damage, he stood up from the bed and emphatically said, “Forget it!” and walked off to get ready for our outdoor run. I called out after him but he was no longer interested. In short, I ruined a perfectly good moment to wear what I have called “the best friend hat.”

Shortly after this, we went running with the boys while he pushed the girls in a double stroller. He didn’t talk to me even when I injected comments here and there to get a gauge of how annoyed he was with me. 

About twenty minutes into our run I apologized for my response and asked if he wanted to talk about it, but he didn’t want to resume the conversation and dismissed me with sarcasm. With a smirk he said, “It’s okay, I don’t have any problems. I don’t have any weakness. I am invincible. That’s what you want, right? A husband who is always strong. No weakness.” 

“Do you really mean that? You know that’s not what I meant. Is that how you want to resolve this, by saying that?” 


“And that’s what you would counsel couples to do to resolve a conflict? (Dismiss it)” 


Well, he was being ridiculous on purpose so I replied, “Fine,” and ran faster. Naturally, he couldn’t go as fast because he was pushing our two girls up a hill. Since it seemed like he didn’t want to be around me, I retaliated by leaving him behind. 

I was in the living room starting on an ab workout when Edric arrived and joined me in silence. The boys didn’t know that we were in the middle of a spat and they did abs with us, too. Perhaps Edric had not gotten over our conflict, so his frustration spilled over to all of us. Titus started tearing because the workout was so hard for him, and Edric said, “There’s no crying during this workout!” 

Oh my goodness. Edric was not himself. But I kept quiet because the kids were present. 

The next day, Edric realized that he hadn’t been Spirit-filled so he apologized to me and the kids. At some point we also got to talk about how I could improve in the way I listen to him and support him. And he was right. 

Our conversation would have taken a completely different and more positive turn if I had begun with empathy and gentleness. My response belittled and rejected his feelings when he needed me to minister to him. 

Husbands may be strong, but there will be days when they need us to be spiritually strong for them. The Bible tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”” ‭‭(Genesis‬ ‭2:18) God used the same word “helper” to describe the way he comes to our aid. “Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul.” (‭‭Psalms‬ ‭54:4‬) 

Our role is both beautiful and important. God designed us to meet a need in a man that no other created thing can. We are to be life sustainers and rescuers alongside our husbands. (This is the more accurate definition of the word “helper” in Hebrew.)
How can we be helpers to our husbands? 

    1. We can encourage them to hope in God when they are dealing with their many challenges.

    2. We can assure them that we are present to support them. 

    3. We can affirm their efforts with gratitude and appreciation. 

    4. We can pray with them and for them. 

    5. We can look to God as our source of strength, peace, love and joy and channel these virtues toward our husbands. 

    6. We can use our gifts and abilities to help them accomplish God’s purposes.

I sometimes forget the kinds of battles Edric has to face as a man — to love, lead and provide for our family, and to serve in ministry. So if he needs to express how stressful it is or talk about the doubts he has every now and then, then the least I can do is hug him and tell him I love him…tell him that, by God’s grace, we’ll get through the tough spells in our marriage and family together as a team.

Thankfully, a few nights ago, God gave me a second chance to be Edric’s helper. He began to open up to me again about some of his plans and the obstacles he was facing. I complimented him for being so thorough in his planning. This made him eager to listen to my perspective. And then I offered a suggestion which he was so grateful for. (Yeah!) When we had more time to talk, we had another fruitful discussion which left him hopeful about the future, gave him clarity of direction, and motivated him to go out there again and be the man God has called him to be. 

So be strong, wives! Not in ourselves, but in the Lord so we can enable, enrich, encourage, revive, connect and reconnect the hearts of our husbands to God, and inspire them to love, follow, and obey Him faithfully!  


Mommy Milkshare: A MilkDrive for Moms Who Care

  “Breastmilk is the best for babies” — most, if not all, moms have probably heard this at one point in their lives. The statement is 100% true, of course, which is why the World Health Organization (WHO) states the following in its report on “Global strategy on infant and young child feeding”:

“Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers. As a global public health recommendation, infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health.

Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond. Exclusive breastfeeding from birth is possible except for a few medical conditions, and unrestricted exclusive breastfeeding results in ample milk production.”

Bearing this in mind, two breastfeeding-advocate-minded local enterprises are holding a post-Breastfeeding Awareness Month event to help provide breastmilk to needy babies, namely “Mommy Milkshare: A MilkDrive for Moms Who Care.” This will take place on from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on September 5, 2015, at The Parenting Emporium, 29 1st Street, New Manila, Quezon City.

The Mommy Milkshare milkletting event is open to all breastfeeding moms who wish to donate their milk. “There is no registration fee, but it is exclusive for breastmilk donors. Mommies should bring frozen milk, expressed within 3 months, and should also be willing to be screened,” Maricel expounds.

Aside from the milkletting activity, participants can expect different activities as well.

Below is the list of talks scheduled for the event:

10a.m.-12nn: Developmental Milestones of Your Infant/Toddler (Speaker: Tanya Velasco of Guru Firm {Early Childhood and Family Life Experts})

1-2p.m.: Time Management Skills for the Busy Mom (Speaker: Candice Cipullo of “The Travelling Maybahay” Blog)

2-3p.m.: Overcoming Breastfeeding Challenges (Speaker: Joyce Martinez, RN, MSN, IBCLC)

3-4p.m.: Managing Mommy Guilt (Speaker: MommyProofing Coach Joy Dejos, Certified Professional Coach)

It is hoped that through this event for moms by moms, the message of “growing together as parents” will be shared to all, and that parents — especially mothers — will be encouraged to protect, promote and support breastfeeding, and share what they have with others.

 To pre-register for the event, kindly contact the TPE Events Hotline: 0917-8110821. For updates from The Parenting Emporium, please send an email to theparentingemporium@gmail.com or follow TPE on Facebook and Instagram @theparentingemporium. To get in touch with Honeysuckle Philippines, contact them on Facebook and on Instagram @honeysucklephils.

Paez Shoes

This was my first time to try Paez shoes, the shoe brand from Argentina that fits so comfortably around my feet. 

I am a practical gal. On occasion, I will wear heels for special events but usually I prefer wedges or flats because my feet tend to hurt when I wear any kind of high heel. I mean, any. It’s unfortunate because I love the way heels look. But as a mom of five, I can’t always prance around in four inch shoes. (I don’t know how Victoria Beckham does it.) 

My philosophy when it comes to shoes is to be kind to yourself. Feet are important. Don’t abuse them. I like stylish shoes but I need comfort. 

So what a treat it was when Paez Shoes invited our family to their store in Rockwell, to pick out pairs for all of us. Seven awesome pairs that are wearable, fun, and oh-so-sweet to our feet! 

Catalina made a bee-line for the watermelon themed ones. All the Paez shoes for little kids are so adorable!  

Edric decided that all the boys should match his pair.   

I got a denim one that will work with almost any outfit. Tiana got herself a pink pair. But of course! 

 I have been enjoying mine since! And my feet have stayed happy! Yeah!
Thank you, Paez! 



When A Good God Allows Rape

This September, at the Manila International Book Fair in SMX, OMF Literature will be launching my first published book, When A Good God Allows Rape. Yes, the title is kind of a shocker but for those of you who have followed my blog, you already know that this event is something I have spoken openly about. Some parts of the book I have take from a few articles on this site but I am happy to say that it’s the first autobiographical account of the tragedy, the events that followed, and God’s hand in all of it. 

 This is a dream come true for me, a bucket-list-kind-of-accomplishment. When I was younger I hoped that one day I would have the privilege of declaring what God has done in my life through a book. Now that I am just a few weeks from its launch, it feels wonderfully surreal. 

Even if I originally wanted this book to come out ten years earlier, the timing of its launch is as it should be. The landscape of my life’s journey includes a postscript of experiences and memories that overshadow that black spot in the timeline of my life. People will be able to see the thread of God’s goodness. 

Everything was going smoothly between the publisher, editor and me up until two weeks ago, when one of my dear friends in the story requested that her real name not be used. I understood where she was coming from and completely respected her feelings so I honored her request. But having to make alterations at the nth hour wasn’t easy. We remain close and this change will not harm our friendship. She is so dear to me.

Initially, the stress robbed me of sleep. So I did the one thing that I probably shouldn’t have done. I went shopping on Amazon. There’s something ridiculously therapeutic about putting things in my cart and taking them out, then putting them back in and taking them out, and reading reviews. I am not advocating stress-shopping! But it did give me something else to think about besides my book. 

What this unprecedented turn of events taught me was to trust in God’s will. I was also reminded that this book is not mine. I may have written its contents. But God owns this story, and he allowed this last minute revision even after I prayed for my friend’s heart to change on the matter. So this is part of His plan. 

I am excited and nervous at the same time. Excited because this is my first published book ever!!! And nervous because what if it isn’t received well and I have made myself so vulnerable in it?!!! You can tell from my exclamation points that these are emotionally loaded statements. But I have done my part and must rest in the comfort that God will do the rest. 

On a side note, I think it is pretty amazing that my editor was a British woman named Victoria Hope. How cool is it that the person who helped me finalize this book had a name like that? Victoria means victory in Latin. So put the two words together and you get “victorious hope.” This is what my book is about. We can all have a victorious hope in God, who redeems our tragedies. He loves us and uses all things for our good when we choose to follow and trust in Him. 

May God get all the glory for this book! It includes perspectives from Edric and my parents. And it’s a book for anyone dealing with tragedy and loss, no matter what kind. 

Of course I hope you will come to the book signing on September 20 at 4:30 PM at SMX, too! This book will retail for P100.   To read the MIBF preview on the OMF Literature site, click this: when a good God allows rape

Print the image below to get free entrance to the book fair!   

Does Money Make Us Happy?

When I was living at home with my parents, life was comfortable. My parents didn’t spoil my siblings and me, but they provided handsomely for us. It wasn’t until I got married and left home that it dawned upon me…there’s a ceiling to what Edric and I have, financially speaking, and it isn’t very high. 

We started off simply as a young couple and for the first time, I began to compare myself with others. Edric and I couldn’t afford luxuries like travel, buying new cars, eating out, or alot of personal shopping. 

We were both corporate people so the prospect of amassing wealth was a far off dream as we were in the beginning stages of our careers. Even though I appreciated how hard Edric worked, there were occasions when I paid attention to the disparity between what I grew up with and what I now had in marriage. And although I didn’t think I had a heart problem when it came to money, the reality was I believed that having more money would make me (us) happier.  


(Photo: exchangecalculator.com)

Thankfully, God used that stage in my life to expose my dependence upon money for security. Those early years of marriage were humbling as I watched my siblings and peers enjoy material things I desired for myself. Yet having less than I hoped to have was spiritually beneficial. 

Edric and I realized that we didn’t need a lot to be happy. In fact, those difficult years turned out to be some of the most romantic memories! The secret to joy was contentment. ‬‬When I stopped comparing my financial status to others and turned my attention to what I had, I saw the goodness of the Lord in my life — my wonderful, hard-working and loving husband, beautiful children, my health, the ability to work, a happy home, harmonious relationships, ministry, and most of all, God Himself. I accepted those years of spiritual pruning as protection against greed and materialism. 

Since God allotted for Edric and me to struggle financially, I believe He purposed it for our character growth. I honestly don’t think we were ready for the stewardship of financial wealth because our perspective on money was immature. We saw money as something to serve our own aims. If we had more we would have spent more on ourselves and attached our sense of self-worth and identity to money. 

Thankfully, God was always faithful. We never went hungry. God also assured me that He would provide for Edric and me. Provision didn’t always mean material wealth but I knew I didn’t have to worry about our future because God was our Father.

Psalm 34:10 tells us, “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; but they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.”‬‬

As God continued to increase our financial capacity, there came a point when we were preparing to build our home. This plan coincided with the efforts of our church to build a new training and worship center. One Sunday service, a guest speaker spoke on giving to God. Stirred by the message, Edric decided to write a check to support the building fund. Because of the amount he chose to give, he tearfully surrendered our dream to build our own home. Yet God assured him, build my house and I will build yours. Sure enough, about two years later, God provided above and beyond what Edric had written on that check and we were able to finish our house! 

Money is so often a test, whether in lack or abundance. And sometimes more so when it is abundant! The Bible tells us, “…Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭12:15‬ ‭NASB

Although money doesn’t make us more important or more special, it does have that sneaky way of making us feel like this is true. Whether a little or plenty, we all have the tendency to pursue it above our pursuit of God. Perhaps this is why the wise King Solomon wrote, “…Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is my portion, that I not be full and deny You and say, “Who is the LORD?” Or that I not be in want and steal, and profane the name of my God.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭30:8-9‬ ‭NASB‬‬ 

Since money competes with God’s place in our hearts, the first cure is to fall more in love with God rather than money. Luke 16:13 tells us that we cannot serve both God and money because we will end up loving the one and hating the other. 

The second cure is to give. 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 tells us, “Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭9:6-8‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Generosity is a good gauge for our heart’s attitude towards money. Author and speaker, Craig Groeschel, beautifully put it when he said that the pursuit of God over money will make us “strangely content” and “irrationally generous.” 

Randy Alcorn reminds us that “Too often we assume that God has increased our income to increase our standard of living, when his stated purpose is to increase our standard of giving. (Money, Possessions and Eternity

I am continually blessed by a couple I know who sets aside a giving fund from their monthly income. And whenever God prods them to give to a person or an organization, they willingly do so, having allocated the money beforehand for whatever or whomever God should convict them to be generous towards. 

We also need to remember that generosity is a condition of the heart not an ability reserved only for the wealthy. A poor and kind African man once told a missionary, “no one is too poor to give nor too rich to receive.” 

The third cure is remembering that God owns everything and we are His stewards. King David declared, “Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O LORD, and You exalt Yourself as head over all. Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone. Now therefore, our God, we thank You, and praise Your glorious name…”‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭29:11-13 NASB‬‬ 

When Edric didn’t understand stewardship, he went into near bankruptcy.  His mentality used to be, “I earned this. I worked hard for this. I can spend my money on what I want to.” (He has shared this in public.) It wasn’t until a loving friend corrected his mindset that he realized he doesn’t own anything. He is just a steward of the resources God has entrusted him with, namely his time, talents, and treasures. 

The fourth cure is to remain simple. Just because we can pay for an item or a service that is more expensive doesn’t mean we should. When I wrote an article about why I don’t buy designer clothing, bags, or shoes it wasn’t because they have no appeal to me. They are beautiful things indeed! But the price at which they come by is unconscionable when so many people have needs around us. 

Do I go shopping and try my best to look put together? Do I still look for quality goods? Of course! Yet I want to quote another insight from Randy Alcorn: “Abundance isn’t God’s provision for me to live in luxury. It’s his provision for me to help others live. God entrusts me with his money not to build my kingdom on earth, but to build his kingdom in heaven.”  

So does money make us happy? Yes and no. It doesn’t make us happy when we look to it as the source of our happiness. But it can make us happy when:

1. we love God more than money and find contentment in Him.

2. we cheerfully give when God leads us to.

3. we understand that we are merely stewards because God owns everything. 

4. we choose to be simple so we can spend less on ourselves and bless others more.

In short, money “makes us happy” when we don’t use it to serve our own purposes (purposes which will never fully satisfy), but do use it to serve God’s purposes, which will give us infinite joy!